Lake Placid vs. Anaconda

Lake Placid vs Anaconda (2015)

** (out of 4)

This made-for-TV film is the fifth film in both the LAKE PLACID and ANACONDA series and a direct continuation of LAKE PLACID: THE FINAL CHAPTER, which, as I predicted in my review of that film, wasn't really the last in the series. This film here is pretty simple as a group of scientists take the blood of a Lake Placid croc and mixes it into the body of a genetically made anaconda. Soon several people are being attacked by the creatures.

Look, if you're watching a movie called LAKE PLACID VS ANACONDA then you should know what you're getting into. If you're wanting high art, intense drama or brilliant acting then you shouldn't be checking this thing out. If you want to watch a low-budget "C" monster mash then this one here isn't all that bad. If you watch enough of these SyFy movies then you know that some of them are downright horrid but thankfully this one here never quite gets that bad. Thankfully this movie never takes itself too serious.

Both Yancy Butler and Robert Englund are back from the previous films in the LAKE PLACID series and both are a joy to watch. Butler can use that deep voice like no one else and you believe that she's tough and willing to kick your butt. Englund actually gets a few funny bits here so his comic timing works just fine. The supporting cast of players are also entertaining in their own ways. As you'd expect, the crocodiles and anacondas are being performed by some really bad CGI. When you see such effects it reminds you that you're watching a "C" movie but I will say that the effects are slightly better than what we normally get for a film like this.

I think most viewers will know whether or not a film like this is for them or not. Obviously if you prefer high art there's really no point in watching this. If you just want some cheap entertainment then there's no doubt that there are much better movies out there for that but as far as these "monster mash" movies go, this one here really isn't all that bad. Stupid for certain but mildly entertaining.

The Anaconda franchise is my favorite guilty pleasure film series out there, so when I watched this I expected some silly CGI fights with the Anaconda and the Crocodile, but I didn't really get it. The anacondas are in this film for a total of about 7 minutes, and the short fight we get between them is disappointing in every sense of the word. What really made this film boring though was the characters. They were either really stupid, really bland or mean and annoying. The characters in the Anaconda franchise are pretty much always terrible but at least they're terrible in a fun way, these characters had me bored to death. I don't recommend this film at all even if you enjoy the other films in the Lake Placid and/or Anaconda series.

I have always had a soft spot for science fiction B-movies. And while Lake Placid vs. Anaconda fills all the requirements for terrible B-movie glory, it is not actually good in any manner.

People often forget that the original Lake Placid and Anaconda films were quite good in a campy creature kind of way. The onslaught of sequels bastardizing their originality and fun of those films have relegated the sub-genre to pure and lovely guilty pleasure filth. Lake Placid vs. Anaconda has nearly every ghastly B-movie trope we've come to expect from these films, and it's not in a good way.

The plot of the film often gets overly summarized to the point of stating the title in sentence form. Lake Placid vs. Anaconda has a super science-y organization funding crazy genetic research while searching for an elixir of youth. Of course, that means they need a super anaconda to bear love children formed from breeding the snake with the gigantic crocodile, thereby making "baby croc-a-condas." Along the way the creatures get loose and go on a killing spree, as they often do, and what do they stumble upon but a group of near- naked sorority girls during rush.

Lake Placid vs. Anaconda has all the literal makings of a B-movie without any of the self referential and irreverent humor of its more successful predecessors, such as the recent Sharknado and Piranha 3D. For some inexplicable reason, the makers behind the film chose to minimize the comedy, and without humor it is just dull.

A B-movie stuff wouldn't be true to itself if it didn't fail at some basic film making techniques, and the sound production, anaconda effects and dialogue overall are pretty terrible. And for a B-movie where gigantic creatures are constantly killing humans, it was pretty weak on the gore and creativity in the death scenes, with the only amusing part being croc on anaconda casualties.

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Watching this movie made me really speechless. It is not the bad script and cheesy lines that made this movie bad. It was the terrible acting from all the actors. You will have to watch this movie for yourself and be the judge to everyone's acting in this movie. It is amateur hour on screen, very stiff acting, terrible expressions and poor chemistry. When I saw the ratings on IMDb, I thought to myself 4/10 ain't that bad. So I told to myself why not give this movie a try, I knew what I was getting myself into, but never expect it to be this bad. Anyone out there who can give this rating above 5, you are definitely not watching enough movies or actually sober to give this movie a rating, or you are a dude just giving a high rating for the boob flashes in the movie.

I'm amazed that either of these franchises actually survived this long, and even managed to create unholy union which is far worse than any of the original titles. It knows it's bad, it revels in the awfulness. There's myriad of silly antics, you'd expect stupid bimbos and fake soldiers, you will have them in spade.

Cue the freak of nature and human arrogance to harness profit even though it's downright lethal, then like Jurassic Park had done decades ago, let it loose. What follows is typical random passerby getting mauled. It plays the stereotype in incredibly shameless dose. The girls are highly plastic to ensure there are sorority babes, practically naked victims prance about obliviously for your viewing pleasure.

The acting and visual are unsurprisingly bad. It's as though they use blunder footage and video game graphic from two generations ago. It's so bad, one can't help but laughing. Everyone knows, from the actors and audience, the movie is awful. Honestly, we're watching a movie titled Lake Placid vs. Anaconda here.

Sadly, embracing the crappy nature doesn't make it much better. If you have low expectation of this movie, it will definitely succeed in delivering such expectation. I feel I must apologize for even mentioning Jurassic Park in this review.