Anaconda 3 : L'Héritier

Harmless fun. A couple of giant, generically altered snakes break out and terrorize people. The snakes are not-great CGI, but they commit a lot of mayhem, probably more graphically than you'd expect. David Hasslehoff (yup, you read that right) leads the group that is chasing them. Best part of the flick, by far, is Crystal Allen, who plays a PhD and a snake expert, and she's my favorite type of snake expert PhD, the type that is a smoking hot blonde and spends almost the entire movie in a tight, form-fitting tank top. Crystal also works hard to sell her character, and she's fun to watch.

Debuted on Sci-Fi channel in advance of the DVD release, you could do a lot worse.

OK, this is such a load of horse poo i give it a minus 1. So bad and cheap and again bad it is actually not even funny. Filmed in east Europe but failing east Europe standards - that says a lot. The entire film budget probably would not last for producing half a bay watch episode. Note the elegant transition because this brings us right to ...

And then there's the thing where this movie has THE HOFF in it, which counts automatically for 3 points. Making a total of 2 points.

I take it all warnings to watch this crap are in vain because YOU MUST HAVE THE HOFF! And right you are.

Trust in THE HOFF, THE HOFF is good.

The first Anaconda was passable, the second was pretty poor but nothing could have prepared me for this! Though the ultra low IMDB rating should have really come to mention it.

I guess was doomed from the start, it has a tiny budget by comparison, it's the third film in an already cheesy scyfy level franchise and the biggest star they could get to carry the movie was the "Hoff".

So yeah, it all looks so very terrible. I could do better sfx than this (And have), the snakes look pitiful and the cast look positively bored throughout.

Though Hasselhoff is better than usual he still can't carry a film and the incredible John Rhys-Davies has a heartbreakingly small role here.

To make matters even worse the plot is generic, the pace is snooze worthy and the whole thing is just seven shades of embarassing.

One more movie to go at time of writing, it can't get worse than this........right?

The Good:

The "Hoff" is better than usual

John Rhys-Davies

The Bad:

Poor cgi

Actually manages to be incredibly boring

The advertised "Stars" are barely in the film

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Always know the animal before the hunt

Cool girls don't look at explosions either

For the most part I was Horrified! At the movie that is, the cgi was the worst of all 3 movies and the story was just plum stupid. Upon the original release of Anacondas back in 97, the cgi was great. Most of the time you couldn't tell that the snakes where fake. However in this picture every time you see one of the over-sized snakes, all you see is a glowing snake-like figure thats really shiny whom looks nothing like the snakes in the original film. Frankly I would be ashamed to be J.lo, Ice Cube, or Jon Voight! Don't get me wrong I loved the original, thats why I get so mad when someone does a sloppy remake! I really wish that someone could tell me why we are farther in times yet our cgi worsens with every year. Im a big cgi I nut, if stuff looks fake, I don't really care to watch it. Also the snakes in the first two films where proportionate, the weren't so big that you would never believe them to exist. This film is like a remade "Python". The snakes are probably a few hundred feet long! How stupid? If s0ny produced this film, then I have nothing more to say, they should loose their L's to shoot films.

While researching an offspring of anaconda with transgenic for saving lives discovering cure for cancer and Alzheimer in the facility of Wexel Hall Pharmaceutics, the CEO Murdoch (John Rhys-Davies) refuses to invest in a larger tank and more security and staff as advised by the head of the project, Dr. Amanda Hayes (Crystal Allen). When he focuses a light in the tank, the anaconda attacks and breaks out the confined facility. Murdoch hires a team leaded by the mercenary Hammett (David Hasselhoff) to destroy the animal.

What a crap this lame "Anaconda III" is! This collection of clichés is awful, not funny, noisy and ridiculous, with terrible screenplay, acting and CGI. I believe the anaconda likes dyed blonde since the beast attacks everybody but the twenty-nine year old scientist along the story. Do not waste your time like I did is my final advice. My vote is one.

Title (Brazil): "Anaconda 3"