Lake Placid vs. Anaconda

Granted, I knew well enough when I sat down to watch the 2015 movie "Lake Placid vs Anaconda" from the title alone that this was most likely going to be a stinker. And it was. Oh, how it was.

But hey, I do enjoy the occasional creature feature, and some of the "Lake Placid" and "Anaconda" movies have actually been watchable, and with iconic Robert Englund in the movie, of course I had to watch it. Now, I am wondering why he agreed to appear in a movie such as this.

The storyline in "Lake Placid vs. Anaconda" is as generic as they come, even for a creature feature. Man is manipulating with Mother Nature and messing with the genes of animals, when something goes awry and the creatures escape to wreak havoc on the local area.

Now, the storyline could have worked, as it was generic enough to actually be essentially the same as every other "Lake Placid" or "Anaconda" movie, but it was so dumbed down by a lack of proper acting and atrocious CGI that it was such a horrible experience to sit through this movie and bear witness to such god awful CGI were even made in 2015.

I can't honestly recommend that you waste your time, money or effort on this movie from writer Berkeley Anderson and director A.B. Stone.

My rating of "Lake Placid vs. Anaconda" is a mere three out of ten stars. Stay well clear of this one, people.

Lake Placid vs Anaconda (2015)

** (out of 4)

This made-for-TV film is the fifth film in both the LAKE PLACID and ANACONDA series and a direct continuation of LAKE PLACID: THE FINAL CHAPTER, which, as I predicted in my review of that film, wasn't really the last in the series. This film here is pretty simple as a group of scientists take the blood of a Lake Placid croc and mixes it into the body of a genetically made anaconda. Soon several people are being attacked by the creatures.

Look, if you're watching a movie called LAKE PLACID VS ANACONDA then you should know what you're getting into. If you're wanting high art, intense drama or brilliant acting then you shouldn't be checking this thing out. If you want to watch a low-budget "C" monster mash then this one here isn't all that bad. If you watch enough of these SyFy movies then you know that some of them are downright horrid but thankfully this one here never quite gets that bad. Thankfully this movie never takes itself too serious.

Both Yancy Butler and Robert Englund are back from the previous films in the LAKE PLACID series and both are a joy to watch. Butler can use that deep voice like no one else and you believe that she's tough and willing to kick your butt. Englund actually gets a few funny bits here so his comic timing works just fine. The supporting cast of players are also entertaining in their own ways. As you'd expect, the crocodiles and anacondas are being performed by some really bad CGI. When you see such effects it reminds you that you're watching a "C" movie but I will say that the effects are slightly better than what we normally get for a film like this.

I think most viewers will know whether or not a film like this is for them or not. Obviously if you prefer high art there's really no point in watching this. If you just want some cheap entertainment then there's no doubt that there are much better movies out there for that but as far as these "monster mash" movies go, this one here really isn't all that bad. Stupid for certain but mildly entertaining.

Watching this movie made me really speechless. It is not the bad script and cheesy lines that made this movie bad. It was the terrible acting from all the actors. You will have to watch this movie for yourself and be the judge to everyone's acting in this movie. It is amateur hour on screen, very stiff acting, terrible expressions and poor chemistry. When I saw the ratings on IMDb, I thought to myself 4/10 ain't that bad. So I told to myself why not give this movie a try, I knew what I was getting myself into, but never expect it to be this bad. Anyone out there who can give this rating above 5, you are definitely not watching enough movies or actually sober to give this movie a rating, or you are a dude just giving a high rating for the boob flashes in the movie.

A giant crocodile from "Black Lake" is captured by muscle-bound Stephen Billington (as Beach) and hook-armed Robert Englund (as Jim Bickerman). This is so a team of scientists can experiment on crocodile and snake DNA. The animals escape and begin to eat people. Six miles away, the attacks continue in "Clear Lake". Fish and wildlife officer Corin Nemec (as Will "Tull" Tully) from "Clear Lake" teams up with "Black Lake" sheriff and neighbor Yancy Butler (as Reba) to investigate...

This Syfy TV movie combines three concepts; we have the "Lake Placid" series, the "Anaconda" spin-offs and the "vs" match-ups. This story is not three times as good, however. This is average fare. "A.B. Stone" and writer Berkeley Anderson have the most fun with a couple of secondary items. First, clumsy deputy Oliver Walker (as Ferguson) is good comic relief. Second, there is a generous amount of screen time given to beautifully-proportioned young women in tight-fitting bikinis.

*** Lake Placid vs Anaconda (4/25/15) A.B. Stone ~ Corin Nemec, Yancy Butler, Robert Englund, Oliver Walker

I'm amazed that either of these franchises actually survived this long, and even managed to create unholy union which is far worse than any of the original titles. It knows it's bad, it revels in the awfulness. There's myriad of silly antics, you'd expect stupid bimbos and fake soldiers, you will have them in spade.

Cue the freak of nature and human arrogance to harness profit even though it's downright lethal, then like Jurassic Park had done decades ago, let it loose. What follows is typical random passerby getting mauled. It plays the stereotype in incredibly shameless dose. The girls are highly plastic to ensure there are sorority babes, practically naked victims prance about obliviously for your viewing pleasure.

The acting and visual are unsurprisingly bad. It's as though they use blunder footage and video game graphic from two generations ago. It's so bad, one can't help but laughing. Everyone knows, from the actors and audience, the movie is awful. Honestly, we're watching a movie titled Lake Placid vs. Anaconda here.

Sadly, embracing the crappy nature doesn't make it much better. If you have low expectation of this movie, it will definitely succeed in delivering such expectation. I feel I must apologize for even mentioning Jurassic Park in this review.