Lake Placid vs. Anaconda

A giant crocodile from "Black Lake" is captured by muscle-bound Stephen Billington (as Beach) and hook-armed Robert Englund (as Jim Bickerman). This is so a team of scientists can experiment on crocodile and snake DNA. The animals escape and begin to eat people. Six miles away, the attacks continue in "Clear Lake". Fish and wildlife officer Corin Nemec (as Will "Tull" Tully) from "Clear Lake" teams up with "Black Lake" sheriff and neighbor Yancy Butler (as Reba) to investigate...

This Syfy TV movie combines three concepts; we have the "Lake Placid" series, the "Anaconda" spin-offs and the "vs" match-ups. This story is not three times as good, however. This is average fare. "A.B. Stone" and writer Berkeley Anderson have the most fun with a couple of secondary items. First, clumsy deputy Oliver Walker (as Ferguson) is good comic relief. Second, there is a generous amount of screen time given to beautifully-proportioned young women in tight-fitting bikinis.

*** Lake Placid vs Anaconda (4/25/15) A.B. Stone ~ Corin Nemec, Yancy Butler, Robert Englund, Oliver Walker

Granted, I knew well enough when I sat down to watch the 2015 movie "Lake Placid vs Anaconda" from the title alone that this was most likely going to be a stinker. And it was. Oh, how it was.

But hey, I do enjoy the occasional creature feature, and some of the "Lake Placid" and "Anaconda" movies have actually been watchable, and with iconic Robert Englund in the movie, of course I had to watch it. Now, I am wondering why he agreed to appear in a movie such as this.

The storyline in "Lake Placid vs. Anaconda" is as generic as they come, even for a creature feature. Man is manipulating with Mother Nature and messing with the genes of animals, when something goes awry and the creatures escape to wreak havoc on the local area.

Now, the storyline could have worked, as it was generic enough to actually be essentially the same as every other "Lake Placid" or "Anaconda" movie, but it was so dumbed down by a lack of proper acting and atrocious CGI that it was such a horrible experience to sit through this movie and bear witness to such god awful CGI were even made in 2015.

I can't honestly recommend that you waste your time, money or effort on this movie from writer Berkeley Anderson and director A.B. Stone.

My rating of "Lake Placid vs. Anaconda" is a mere three out of ten stars. Stay well clear of this one, people.

Lake Placid vs Anaconda (2015)

** (out of 4)

This made-for-TV film is the fifth film in both the LAKE PLACID and ANACONDA series and a direct continuation of LAKE PLACID: THE FINAL CHAPTER, which, as I predicted in my review of that film, wasn't really the last in the series. This film here is pretty simple as a group of scientists take the blood of a Lake Placid croc and mixes it into the body of a genetically made anaconda. Soon several people are being attacked by the creatures.

Look, if you're watching a movie called LAKE PLACID VS ANACONDA then you should know what you're getting into. If you're wanting high art, intense drama or brilliant acting then you shouldn't be checking this thing out. If you want to watch a low-budget "C" monster mash then this one here isn't all that bad. If you watch enough of these SyFy movies then you know that some of them are downright horrid but thankfully this one here never quite gets that bad. Thankfully this movie never takes itself too serious.

Both Yancy Butler and Robert Englund are back from the previous films in the LAKE PLACID series and both are a joy to watch. Butler can use that deep voice like no one else and you believe that she's tough and willing to kick your butt. Englund actually gets a few funny bits here so his comic timing works just fine. The supporting cast of players are also entertaining in their own ways. As you'd expect, the crocodiles and anacondas are being performed by some really bad CGI. When you see such effects it reminds you that you're watching a "C" movie but I will say that the effects are slightly better than what we normally get for a film like this.

I think most viewers will know whether or not a film like this is for them or not. Obviously if you prefer high art there's really no point in watching this. If you just want some cheap entertainment then there's no doubt that there are much better movies out there for that but as far as these "monster mash" movies go, this one here really isn't all that bad. Stupid for certain but mildly entertaining.

The first Lake Placid movie was very enjoyable, if with its flaws. The second was awful, with a waste of its big names. The third was an improvement, but still mediocre at best. The fourth, strangely called The Final Chapter, had some big flaws but was much better than expected and the best since the original. This latest entry, Lake Placid vs. Anaconda for me was the worst since the second movie.

Lake Placid vs. Anaconda is saved from total doom by the good performances of Yancy Butler, Robert Englund and Corin Nemec. Butler is very authoritative and 'kicks ass' (a term I very rarely use) in her very feisty role, and Englund has indeed some funny moments and is suitably ruthless and nutty as well. Nemec is appropriately hard-nosed and is entertainingly sarcastic. The Bulgarian scenery is reasonably attractive too.

What does stop the scenery from making more of an impression is that Lake Placid vs. Anaconda does have a rather drab look, the photography is not expansive enough and is a mixture of static to rushed and dizzying. The special effects, as expected, are rather dire, looking cartoony, artificial-looking (like large bits of rubber) , inconsistently sized and incomplete, especially the anaconda. The creatures, both anaconda and crocodile on top of looking cheap, are not threatening at all and somewhat under-utilised with nowhere near enough of the anaconda.(there's also not enough of them together either). The music is not very well placed and is overbearing and not eerie enough, sometimes inappropriately jaunty.

Here, the dialogue is full of stilted gibberish, and a lot of the humour is too cheesy and sometimes appears at the wrong time, cheapened even further by some horrendous dubbing that is far too obvious. The story is a confused mess of ideas and doesn't seem to know whether it's trying to be comedy or horror. The comedy, apart from some amusing moments, is very badly written, reeks of cheese and appears in inappropriate places sometimes, and this is coming from somebody who knew not to take things seriously. The horror moments completely lack tension or suspense, is not used enough and often too brief, further disadvantaged by sloppy editing and the cheap-looking creature. The characters are basically every cliché and stereotype in the book, and with a lack of charm, empathy and apart from Butler's and Englund's are annoying and bland in personality.

Much of the acting, apart from Butler, Englund and Nemec, ranges from stiff, melodramatic to non-existent. Oliver Walker's comic relief annoyed rather than amused at the end of the day. The whole movie felt very under-directed as well. Overall, pretty poor and the worst of the Lake Placid series since the second movie, though not as bad. 3/10 Bethany Cox

I'm amazed that either of these franchises actually survived this long, and even managed to create unholy union which is far worse than any of the original titles. It knows it's bad, it revels in the awfulness. There's myriad of silly antics, you'd expect stupid bimbos and fake soldiers, you will have them in spade.

Cue the freak of nature and human arrogance to harness profit even though it's downright lethal, then like Jurassic Park had done decades ago, let it loose. What follows is typical random passerby getting mauled. It plays the stereotype in incredibly shameless dose. The girls are highly plastic to ensure there are sorority babes, practically naked victims prance about obliviously for your viewing pleasure.

The acting and visual are unsurprisingly bad. It's as though they use blunder footage and video game graphic from two generations ago. It's so bad, one can't help but laughing. Everyone knows, from the actors and audience, the movie is awful. Honestly, we're watching a movie titled Lake Placid vs. Anaconda here.

Sadly, embracing the crappy nature doesn't make it much better. If you have low expectation of this movie, it will definitely succeed in delivering such expectation. I feel I must apologize for even mentioning Jurassic Park in this review.