Til Death Do Us Part

.... just move along. Between the incredible long and dull setup and the poor action scenes with terrible dialogue in-between there is clearly nothing in this film that worth you sit and watch this dumpster fire.

Even in these troubled times where movies are ew and far between I'd rather watch a sharknado, at least it will be midly entertaining. This offered nothing, pretty sure my encephalogram was totally flat for the entire runtime.

I'd even rather make a grocery list or doing chores than having to watch another minute of this ... movie? Yes, calling it a movie is almnost an insult to other movies.

Just move along seriously.

Til Death Do Us Part is directed by Timothy Woodward Jr and stars Natalie Burn, Cam Gigandet, Orlando Jones and Jason Patric.

What happens when you try to combine a Tarantino movie with You're Next and Ready Or Not? You get whatever Til Death Do Us Part is. This isn't a good movie but there are a few redeeming qualities about this that I'll get into.

There are two subplots in this one with the Groomsmen hunting down Natalie Burn's bride and another involving Jason Patric's character that didn't even need to be in this movie. This movie is also way too long and for such a simple premise it feels extremely dragged out. The writing by Chad Law and Shane Dax Taylor is also extremely cliche and filled with horrendous dialogue. On the positive side Natalie Burn in what I think is her first leading role is good here and Jason Patric who looks like he was interrupted during his vacation to film scenes for this also does a good job. The best part about this for me though was Cam Gigandet and his charismatic and zany performance got to give him props for at least trying to make this somewhat watchable.

How or why this managed to get a theatrical release I don't know. Ready Or Not with Samara Weaving which has a very similar plot to this is far superior.

How do films like this get made? Who puts up the money? Or are they just vanity projects from spoiled rich kids ? I only ask because this must have looked rubbish on paper. I think I recognized one name on the cast list. The others were totally unknown. They should stay that way. Especially the leading lady. Dreadful beyond words. And the production values? Let's saturate all the colors and have a palate of primary hues. Everything about this movie is a mess and you should avoid it like the plague. It doesn't even fall into the "it's so bad, it's good" category. It's just plain bad. You have been warned.

So today I (mis)treated myself to a double feature of Meg 2 and Til Death Do Us Part. After Meg 2 failed to deliver on its minimal promises of schlocky fun I had my hopes that this would meet my expectations of being mildly entertaining. Unfortunately this couldn't even pass the lowest bar: at least be more entertaining than the movie I watched prior.

This movie is a beat-by-beat ripoff to the far superior Kill Bill films with lifeless performances from a cast that looked like they didn't want to be there. The characters are monotone, obnoxious, and one note. Cam Gigandet's character is by far the most insufferable of the bunch. Putting on random classic songs on vinyl and foolishly dancing around is his sole personality trait that probably took up to a total of 15 minutes of the film runtime throughout. If you want your character to be demented maybe...I don't know...do more?

It delivers on the blood and gore for the most part and usually when a film is this bad this can be a redeeming quality, even if it doesn't save the film entirely. But this did nothing for me. The jokes fall flat, the characters are cringe, and the film is about 20-25 minutes too long. There was no heart in this. The only positives I can give this are some decent fighting scenes and two pretty cool and bloody kills.

A runaway bride has to fight off the groomsmen that come chasing after her.

The problem with this film is a lack of detail regarding the sub plot for bride and groom. We don't understand their relationship, the relationship they share with their "friends" or the relationship with their employer. You've watched nearly the entire film before things have started to come together well.

I will give the film credit for the stunt/action scenes, the poster art (even though it bugs me that the dress on the poster isn't the dress worn in the film (Don't ask me why it bothers me. It just does! OK.)) and the soundtrack. Some of the special effects were questionable and the supporting characters didn't bring much to the table. For me, I just couldn't get into caring about what was happening to the characters. They were bland, uninteresting and simply fodder for the kill scenes.

I had higher hopes coming into this so I'm a bit bummed out. I'm not sure that I'd suggest it to friends or even watch it again. If I had to choose between this and Ready or Not, I would choose Ready or Not over and over again.