The most boring horror movie I've ever seen
"Sennentuntschi" is the most excruciatingly tedious horror movie I have ever watched, and I have seen over a thousand horror movies.
Nothing of any interest happens in the movie.
Even if it did, you probably wouldn't notice, because everything is so drawn out and protracted that you won't be paying attention.
The movie seemed to actually "begin" at about the forty five minute mark. Everything that led up to that was basically irrelevant, or could have been established in about two minutes.
There were a couple of head-scratching (or face-palming) moments right at the beginning of the movie, making me think it was going to be bad, but at least entertaining. In one scene, after a girl says she saw a boy in the wilderness, police show her photos of missing boys on a computer, and she recognizes the one she saw. "That's impossible," the policeman says. "He went missing thirty years ago." Ooh! Mysterious. But not as mysterious, perhaps, as the question of why the policeman is showing the girl photos of boys from 30 years ago, since, if they were even still alive, they'd all be well into adulthood now, and the photos would be hopelessly outdated.
Shortly thereafter, a priest is found hanging by the neck from a bell tower. "So it's suicide, then?" asks an onlooker. Uh? Wouldn't that be perfectly obvious? Either it's suicide, or a murderer carried the victim to the top of the bell tower, tied a rope around his neck, and dropped him - all without alerting anyone near by. Hard to think the priest would have put up no struggle for that ridiculously protracted and painstaking murder-method.
The movie is apparently based on an Alpine myth about the Sennentuntschi. With that kind of ageless pedigree, with a story that would be unknown to most, from a remote region... how could it have been this dull? I guess the myth is about a created woman. That is what the movie is sort of about. It is so light on detail, and so heavy, heavy, mercilessly heavy on padding, that I don't really know and I. Don't. Care.
Nothing of any interest happens in the movie.
Even if it did, you probably wouldn't notice, because everything is so drawn out and protracted that you won't be paying attention.
The movie seemed to actually "begin" at about the forty five minute mark. Everything that led up to that was basically irrelevant, or could have been established in about two minutes.
There were a couple of head-scratching (or face-palming) moments right at the beginning of the movie, making me think it was going to be bad, but at least entertaining. In one scene, after a girl says she saw a boy in the wilderness, police show her photos of missing boys on a computer, and she recognizes the one she saw. "That's impossible," the policeman says. "He went missing thirty years ago." Ooh! Mysterious. But not as mysterious, perhaps, as the question of why the policeman is showing the girl photos of boys from 30 years ago, since, if they were even still alive, they'd all be well into adulthood now, and the photos would be hopelessly outdated.
Shortly thereafter, a priest is found hanging by the neck from a bell tower. "So it's suicide, then?" asks an onlooker. Uh? Wouldn't that be perfectly obvious? Either it's suicide, or a murderer carried the victim to the top of the bell tower, tied a rope around his neck, and dropped him - all without alerting anyone near by. Hard to think the priest would have put up no struggle for that ridiculously protracted and painstaking murder-method.
The movie is apparently based on an Alpine myth about the Sennentuntschi. With that kind of ageless pedigree, with a story that would be unknown to most, from a remote region... how could it have been this dull? I guess the myth is about a created woman. That is what the movie is sort of about. It is so light on detail, and so heavy, heavy, mercilessly heavy on padding, that I don't really know and I. Don't. Care.
- Groverdox
- 30 oct 2017