Un desastre de película

*Disclaimer: I only watched this movie as a conditional agreement. And I see films for free. I wouldn't be caught dead giving my hard earned money to these idiots.

Well, to explain the depth of this 'film', I could write my shortest review, ever. Don't see this movie. It is by far the stupidest, lamest, most lazy, and unbelievably UNFUNNY movie I have ever seen. It is a total disaster. But since my hatred for this movie, and the others like it, extends far beyond one viewing, I think I'll go on for a bit.

I don't know any of the people in the movie besides Carmen Electra, Vanessa Minnillo, and Kim Kardashian, but it doesn't matter. They're all horrible, though I think that was the point. The editing is flat out horrible, and possibly blatant continuity errors make this crapfast even crappier than I thought it would be. Now I know that these films are not supposed to be serious at all, but come on, it's film-making 101 that if someone gets a minor facial cut, it should be there in the next shot. AND, if someone gets cut by a sword, there should be blood and at least a cut (though since the Narnia films "get away with it", I'll give Disaster Movie a pass here).

The 'jokes' are thoughtless and mindless physical gags that obviously take after some of the most popular movies of the last year (there's some from late 2007 as well, including 2 of our 5 Best Picture nominees).

You know what the saddest thing about these stupid movies are? I don't care how much money they make, or how many cameos they have, these sorry ass excuses for films are taking away jobs from actors, writers, and directors that truly deserve the attention. Lionsgate, I thought you had better taste than this. You should be ashamed of yourselves for making this kind of crap. And as for Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer? Burn in hell. You guys are contributing to the decline of western civilization. Correction...you are the CAUSE of the downfall of western civilization.

Really, I could write a scathing review of this turd sandwich, but instead, I'm just going to be making a few observations and points I've deduced.

There's just no point in watching these movies anymore. Does any reader out there remember Scary Movie? Remember how it was original with a few comedic elements to it? There was slapstick, some funny lines, it was a pretty forgettable comedy, but it was worth the price of admission. Well, That was the last time this premise was funny. STOP MAKING THESE MOVIES. PLEASE.

I could call for a boycott of these pieces of monkey sh*t, but we all know there's going to be a line up of pre pubescent annoying little buggers, spouting crappy one liners like, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and, "IM RICK JAMES BITCH" so these movies will continue to make some form of monetary gain, considering the production value of this movie looks like it cost about 10 cents to make.

Don't see this movie. Don't spend any money on it. Go home, rent Airplane, laugh your ass off, and then silently judge the people that are talking about this movie on Monday. Do yourself a favor.

I was given a free ticket to this film; so I can't complain that I was ripped off (except in that some 90 minutes of my life were irretrievably stolen from me). These sort of movies (Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans) haven't been funny for some time now but "Disaster Movie" has reached a new low. There wasn't one real laugh anywhere in the film, and most of the alleged "jokes" were actually painful. (There was a considerable amount of childish, mean-spirited stuff in the form of racist, sexist, and especially homophobic, garbage present, along with ample helpings of juvenile gross-outs.) None of the actors were even bothering to put up any pretense of acting. There is nothing hip, clever, or even mildly intelligent going on here. The entire film is from beginning to end crass, vulgar, irrational, and utterly humorless in any human sense. I know that in the past these sort of trash has made enough money to keep Seltzer et al., grinding them out but "Disaster Movie" may just be the downfall of the franchise. The utter contempt that Seltzer and his collaborators have for their audience is finally beginning to show through clearly. If this one fails (and from what I saw in the almost empty theater there is a good chance of it), Seltzer will have to go back to the drawing board, stop making these lazy catastrophes, and finally develop a real sense of humor. This movie is an unfunny piece of puke - stay away from it.

This left me speechless......and not in a breath-taking "Shawshank Redemption" type way! I literally wanted to rip my arm off and throw it at the TV it was so bad. My husband and I made a bet with one another as to who could keep watching it the longest........the loser buying the weekend beers! I was quite happy to lose that night. I had no idea what was going on, it kept skipping from one sketch to another with no plot, no reason and NO POINT! Awful acting, awful impressions, awful film! Pretty much is what it says on the tin, A Disaster. Do not watch this movie. You'd be better off stapling your genitals to a table for an hour...it'll be less painful for you!

Honestly, what is wrong with you, Hollywood? Not only is this the WORST thing that has happened to you ---- you keep funding these "cheesy writers of Scary Movie" to make these movies. I mean, come on Carmen Electra, you know even better than them that you have potential! Stop portraying in parody movies!

See, I can't believe I am comparing "parody" to this movie. This movie has no "parody" or "comedy" in it, this is all referencing. All they need to do is see a movie title, take a line and a scene from a trailer, and turn it into a script. Never in my LIFE have I ever been so ticked off by you (Hollywood).

I mean, Aaron Seltzer and Jason Friedberg, you don't even care for the money, you just want to prove you can be a film-maker too, but that's not the point! Movies are something you should enjoy, and this... this is making bland jokes and pointless (as I may say "comedy) with fart jokes and people being hit with objects... or just getting hurt (but you realize that they are okay)?

Now please, STOP! You're ruining the name of "parody" and you are causing people to hate you even more!

Please, as a warning, DO NOT WATCH THIS.