Jack and the Beanstalk

Pretty much low-budget, but very entertaining. A smart, witty parody on famous fairy-tales, full of cultured humor, without vulgarity and all those nasty things that suppose to be funny these days. Perfect for brain relaxation.

8/10

A fairy tale character who is about to flunk out of fairy tale school, Jack must perform a heroic deed by Monday or fail miserably, just like his father before him. Anxious to make good, Jack sells his C.O.W. (Computer of Wonder) for a handful of magic beans and a mysterious book that records his adventures as he's having them.

It's a cross between a bad kids movie and sarcastic adult fare. There are many problems with this film. The production looks like a bad kids TV show. Much of the movie is colored too far to the yellow and made this look very tired. The sets look cheap and cheesy. Gilbert Gottfried as the golden egg laying goose is another one of the many problems. He is ill-fitting in this kids film. Then again the jokes are really stupid. Chloë Grace Moretz is playing a small role as the damsel in distress in the opening fantasy and Jillian who helps out in the quest. Colin Ford is OK if lacking in screen presence. And everybody is doing badly here which is disappointing considering the many favorite actors here. And this starts with an unreasonable modern dream sequence. If this takes place in an old fantasy land, why would he dream about the modern day. Like so many things here, it's best not to think about it.

Absolutely loved this film, the classic story updated a little and with enough going on to keep the younger viewers occupied. For me, in my mid 50's this was a great re-telling of the original story. had a great time identifying the older actors (and voices). For those that give this film a bad review, put yourselves in the shoes of a 6 or 7 year old seeing and hearing the story for the first time and accept it for what it is, a fairy tale! I thought that the standard of acting, the production and all of the sets were superb, in particular the goose that laid the golden egg, Christoper Lloyd as the schoolmaster and Katey Sagal as Jack,s mother were particularly good performances

This is a very good movie, with nothing offensive unless you don't like potty humor. But the movie still got a TV-G rating. I saw "Dumb and Dumberer" the same weekend, and if you want offensive potty humor ...

Plenty of actors give very good performances.

Colin Ford and Chloe Grace Moretz are wonderful as the children with the largest roles.

Gilbert Gottfried is as annoying as always, but his goose is one of the best things about the movie. At some point in the past I learned to accept his very brash style.

Katey Sagal is wonderful as Jack's mom, so normal and loving, until she gets upset and then she's more like the outrageous townspeople.

It is never explained why most of the people have British accents but Jack and his mother don't. Oh, well ...

Daniel Roebuck is appropriately over-the-top as the town's mayor.

There is a sepia-tone silent movie as Verri Saddus tells his story through flashbacks. There is music and narration, and eventually even sound from the past even though the style is still that of silent movies.

James Earl Jones is his usual vicious villain. As with Darth Vader, he doesn't appear, but the giant in this version is no bigger than an NBA player.

Three cops named Who, What and Where are given the job of finding Jack, but all they really do is a funny parody of Abbott and Costello.

It's a worthy effort.

GOOD INTERESTING STORY THAT IS FUN AND PRETTY EASY TO FOLLOW = 1/2 Star

MEMORABLE DIALOGUE = 1 Star

FEEL A PULL TO WATCH IT AGAIN = 0 Stars

MUSIC OR SCORE STANDS OUT = 1/2 Star

NO NOTICEABLE PLOT HOLES = 0 Stars

STORY GETS RESOLVED OR FEELS COMPLETE IN SOME WAY = 1 Star

I PERSONALLY LIKE OR FEEL A CONNECTION TO THIS STORY = 0 Stars

MEMORABLE OR LIKABLE CHARACTERS = 1 Star

MOST THINGS ABOUT THE STORY COULD ACTUALLY HAPPEN OR ARE BELIEVABLE = 0 Stars

STORY ISN'T BORING OR REPETITIVE = 0 Stars

A funny movie for kids that puts a whole new spin on Jack and the Beanstalk. There are many familiar faces in this film and it's a wonder why it bombed. The story is creative and somewhat funny even for adults. It's almost like a unintentional trippy movie to laugh at with friends. This story is cliche but so is the original story right?