American Crude

The criminal Carlos (Jennifer Esposito) breaks out from prison and her pimp Felonious Spinks (Michael Clarke Duncan) drives the runaway car. Carlos seeks revenge against the criminal Henrique, who raped and introduced her to prostitution.

The smalltime crook Johnny (Ron Livingston) is married with Jane (Cynthia Watros), but he is still fancy Olivia (Amanda Detmer) that is the love of his life and will marry his best friend Bill (Rob Schneider). Johnny organizes a bachelor party for Bill with their friend Phil (Eric Stonestreet) while Jane organizes a shower for Olivia.

Johnny's father is the pedophile Mr. Grand (Raymond J. Barry) that sells abducted teenagers to Henrique. Mr. Grand has injured his wife when she asked for the divorce and now she is crippled. Johnny plots a scheme with the travesty Gigi LaRush (Missi Pyle) to separate Olivia from Bill and is negotiating fake passports with Carlos and Spinks. But when Bill and Gigi are arrested by a police officer and Mr. Grand kidnaps Tammy Snow, the lives of these players are entwined with tragic consequences.

"American Crude" is an unpleasant and unfunny tale about North America's scumbags that have their lives entwined after a tragic event. There is pedophilia, travesty, betrayal, fellatio, robbery, murder, lesbianism and the genre is very confused, apparently a black comedy. Maybe with Guy Ritchie in the direction, "American Crude" might have worked. But the debut of Craig Sheffer in a feature is awful since he directs this movie with very "heavy hand" and the humor never works. My vote is four.

Title (Brazil): "Escolhas Erradas" ("Wrong Choices")

I don't know what right-wing conservative is posting all these reviews but this movie is far tamer than some of the reviews would have you believe.

Yes, there is violence; mostly in the form of people shooting each other. But even these scenes aren't terribly graphic and often alluded to. One scene, a person fires a gun - the next scene, another person is dead with a small red splatter so we all know where they've been shot. Done.

There is very little actual sex in the movie. Again, it is mostly alluded to and it's consensual sex (or sexual contact) between adults. Although one of the threads of the movie involves one character attempting to sell a 17 year old girl to a child pornographer, there is no child nudity or sex scenes involving children and no scenes of violence against children.

Another thread involves a Cuban woman who seeks revenge against the men to gang raped her as a child and left her for dead in a dumpster. She does not go into the event in any graphic detail and the flash back scene is very brief and involves the camera pointing up to two fully dressed men looking down (presumably at the Cuban woman as a then child). This is as disturbing as the movie gets.

Ron Schneider is his usual likable, downtrodden, long-suffering self and really adds the comic balance this movie needs. Jennifer Esposito is not entirely convincing as the revenge seeking Cuban, Carlos. Michael Clarke Duncan is the loyal but mistreated boyfriend of Carlos and does a passable job. Ron Livingston is, as always, Mr. Everyman, a flawed but (aw shucks) pretty nice guy when ya get to know him. Missi Pyle (Gigi the hooker) and Shannon Mathers (17 year old girl) lack subtlety in their performances. The two blonde women are typical of the boring sort of wives you find on TV sitcoms - pretty but not really why you tune in.

The movie is sort of everywhere and no where and you don't really get to know what makes anyone tick. Many of the plot twists are pretty predictable and some things seem to be added for shock value and don't really add to the story. Homosexuality seems to be a go to for the writers to try and keep the audience engaged. The scene with Ron Livingston in a gay bar seems to go on for a while and have no real point. Some of the writing is tired and clichéd i.e. "Money talks and bullshit walks." said with far more drama than a line like that warrants. The speech made at the end of the movie by the father standing under the US flag was silly and contrived.

Ultimately, this is decent way to kill 90 minutes and you'll grow to like most of the characters and forget them shortly after the movie is over.

even a review would be a waste of time, but i'll give you the important bits: this is one of the most poorly written films i have ever seen.

the fact that so many decent actors/comedians are in it is beyond me. i can't explain how they suckered these guys into regurgitating the terrible dialog.

the story goes nowhere, takes forever, and basically sucks.

no one is like-able, there is no hero, no bad guy, just nothing.

it is a vapid, useless, and moronic film, and THE ABSOLUTE WORST attempt at making a dark comedy i have ever seen in my entire life.

from the script, to the editing, to the directing, absolutely everything is painful.

please, save yourself, do not watch this movie.

This has got to be one of the best films of this century, it is a brilliant story and it comes together amazingly well !!! Do yourself a favor and watch it for yourself, it is a dark comedy on a Clockwork Orange king of way ! Very interesting, awesome storyline! Ten stars !!!!! The actors in this film are amazing, the plot is great, you will be on the seat of your pants wondering what is haqppening next the whole time ! A MUST SEE if you are a fan of dark comedies. Jeff Winiski, the person who wrote the story did a great job as well as the producer who cast such a colorful cast. Trust me, you will NOT be disappointed in this one !

..These are some of the movie's plot keys. Yes, you read it right; "some"!

Was Craig Sheffer, the actor and the movie's director, trying to make a crime movie? Was he trying to make a satire about the "night" of America then thought of presenting it in a comic style? Was he trying to make a black comedy? Was he - oh god - thinking that it's a comedy from the start? Whatever the answer is, that guy made an ugly, disturbing and disturbed movie.

Originally many problems in one night could produce a fine comedy, black or else. But many problems in one movie could produce just a bad movie. It is made in such a poor, primitive and messy way. The script thinks itself a genius, while mixing the genres together, in one night, with many storylines, and absurd spirit. But it lost being anything good or bearable. What it did win though was having a one of a kind silly sense of humor; and it's very natural since it's directed by Sheffer; one of the silliest actors alive!

I bet that none of the movie's cast knew what the main goal was. I guess Sheffer told them that he wanted to make a satiric cross between Pulp Fiction and American Pie. So sometimes it's about bloody crimes, then it's about crude comedy, then it's about both, then it's about the ugliness of America, then it's about just ugliness!

It's "let's put some of the dirtiest matters on screen for the sake of making a satire". It turned into a great satire towards stupid movie-making mainly. Here's a movie that feeds itself, and us, with massive amount of dirt, a monster of a comedy, and low movie-making to torture everyone who sat to complete it. Thus putting the American flag at the top of the movie's presented crimes wasn't something serious about "only in America"; it was rather a try to sell the movie's own crimes as something serious!

Anyway, don't be confused, asking was it a comedy? A satire? A black comedy? A crime movie? A soft porn?? Because, in fact, it is confused. It tried to say that America has become a big toilet, but ended up as a big toilet itself. Thus I won't say "give it a chance and think about it", instead I'll say "don't forget to flush"!

(American Crude) is a dictionary of dirtiness and bad movie-making. It's nasty matters shown in nasty way.