Champion Killer

Well, for 99p I could have made a better film than this. Cut a square out of the side of a cardboard box, place a small child inside the box, sit back and watch for an hour and a half. There will be more drama, excitement, satisfaction and better acting watching that child in the box than ever watching "Champion Killer." I saw it in the 99p shop once when I was looking for wrapping paper and on a whim I purchased it. Nothing could prepare you for such a dull experience. Made on what looks like the worst/cheapest camera available in the shop, with actors the director seemingly chose because they live next door/didn't demand payment, "Champion Killer" fails to deliver on any meaningful level. It's difficult just to recall how bleak an experience this was. I could waffle on about plot, setting, cast, camera work, lighting, sound and a whole host of other production values but there really is no point. They were all lost on this "film."

This movie is so horrendous its funny! The acting is some of the worst I've ever seen, the plot is amazingly plain, and the action is terrible, this is officially the ONLY film to be worse than "Flesh Eating Mothers"! OK, so here's the plot, a crack dealer in a ski mask and gloves gets annoyed at an under-cover cop, who's having an affair with another cop, so he kills her, then goes on to kill the other cops family for no apparent reason at all, then he takes off the ski mask (again, I don't know why)and decides to start killing teenage girls until the city pay him $1,000,000. they do pay him, but he gets angry again and wants $2,000,000 instead, then he tries killing the other cop, only to get shot in the leg, I turned the DVD player off at this point.

I recently watched an interview of an "A-list" actress, who's main concern is the believability of her projects - an element which is distractingly absent from CHAMPION KILLER. It is so unrealistic, in fact, that, as the action proceeded, my primary focus became noticing things which just weren't depicted as they would happen in everyday life. Utterly laughable. Also, the actors often try too hard, or, they're simply incompetent, although it's probable that NOBODY could convincingly deliver what's written here. And a few times, the dialogue is difficult to hear. The plot contains so many extreme events as to be too far-fetched: A cop cheats on his wife, but she and their son are murdered. Next, his partner is wounded and the successor is a female, with whom our main character falls in love. Then, a bullet finds HER shoulder. And HE is suspended from the force for brutalizing a drug-using homicide suspect who he shot in the leg once before. After the perp kills more victims, and repeated payoffs to him fail, the mean mistreater is reactivated to pursue the culprit. My impression is that it is just not well done.

Laughably bad amateur movie. I'm not sure if it's so bad it's good, but it will provide laugh-out-loud moments...for the wrong reasons. This is basically a Dirty Harry rip-off, it straight up just copies scenes throughout, albeit in a way that looks like adults playing make-believe rather than making a movie. Still, it looks like they had fun making it. It's probably worth watching just to see how bad it is, maybe with some mates while getting drunk... I definitely recommend the drunk part.

A perceptive review from Mr Barbar, but why did he seek this film out?. This is the hidden tale within a tale. We should be told why this elephantine reviewer chose such a movie. As for the film, I saw it once, in Granchester, in Grantchester. It has the charm of Kickboxer 3 and the grace of Le Belle et la Reunion..