The Calcium Kid

The Calcium Kid is very funny in the tradition of "Young Frankenstein" and Monty Python stuff. Orlando Bloom shows that he can do more then play the swashbuckler. The humor ranges from subtle to absurd. The screenplay was just a little shy of pure genius. Sometimes it's nice to see a film that is just for fun. The actors have a chance to have fun and make fun of themselves. Orlando Bloom plays a wonderful part as our hapless hero. The supporting cast is great. The direction was hilarious. Pay attention though, you might miss some very funny stuff!! I give it 8/10 for the quality of work throughout the production. I literally laughed out loud several times. It's worth watching at least once, but I'll bet you'll want to see it again.

My sister managed to track down a Region 1 copy of "The Calcium Kid" for me on DVD.

I thought it was a good little movie. It turned out to be MUCH better than I thought it would be; I figured it'd be a comedy and some good laughs, but it had some serious quality to it too, which was deftly executed by the writers, director, and the actors. Anyone who says Bloom isn't a good or even competent actor needs to watch this film, honestly; he lands on the scale talent-wise down below Johnny Depp, admittedly, but he's still as good or better than a lot of "stars" I see on the big screen. (Give me an actor any day of the week over a star, has always been my motto.

I've always in the past liked actors hardly anyone knew.) The story is pretty simple (proving yet again, as I beat my head on my keyboard trying to come up with a good book idea, the best stories have the least bullshit to them). Jimmy Connelly is a milk deliveryman with a dairy. This guy loves milk not just in his job, but in his real life, and has imbibed so much over the course of his life that his bones are hard as granite.

For exercise, Jimmy likes to spar in the boxing ring and answers an ad at a neighborhood gym to help English middleweight hopeful Pete Wright train for his upcoming match with Mexican-American middleweight world champ Jose Mendez in London. Wright breaks the bones in his hand on Jimmy's head and Pete's manager, Herbie Bush, is forced to find someone to step into the ring in only 7 days for the heavily-televised match. He picks Jimmy, who has no sports career, and the press quickly picks up on the new kid in the "David and Goliath" vein of storytelling.

Without giving too much away, I'll just say Jimmy encounters obstacles along the way, both humorous and poignantly sad. He starts the movie as a wide-eyed, cheerfully simple fellow and ends it pretty much the same way, but does grow as a character. There are several points where Bloom's expressive facial features - eyes, mouth, eyebrows - tell a lot more than even what Jimmy is saying, and it seems he takes direction very well from whomever is behind the camera. Jimmy's no brain trust, but when push comes to shove, he's smarter than he looks, at least in common sense.

The movie is filmed "mockumentary" style - the "director" is setting out to document Pete Wright's training a week before the match, as well as his daily life and background, but switches to Jimmy's story once he steps into Pete's place. The use of cutaway shots and still frames is a bit odd at first, but you get used to them, and it works; ditto with the soundtrack choices.

There were several supporting characters I liked a lot, in addition to Jimmy. His manager, Herbie Bush (forgive me, I don't have all the actors' names in front of me as I write, so I'm going to refer to the character names), is a guy looking to make a buck any way he can, and usually comes off as strictly an opportunist lout. He's not really a bad guy, though - he thinks fast on his feet and talks too much, but his schemes just don't usually work out the way he envisions.

Probably the characters I'll remember the most, though, are the crazy neighbor girl, Margaret, and Jimmy's pal Stan. Margaret reminds me of those celebrity stalkers you read about, who just adores Jimmy. She is not, however, the woman you want to see him with at the end of the day. Stan is a comfortably slovenly overweight fellow who sticks by Jimmy when things go bad, and ends up helping him train in odd ways. Another character I liked was Paddy, Jimmy's trainer, who keeps calling him the wrong name, LOL. ("You mad old Irish bastard! My name's NOT Johnny! It's Jimmy!")

All in all, I will definitely watch it again. I get excited by good storytelling, as a writer, because it inspires me in small ways.

Obviously this film is going to come under un-necessary scrutiny because it stars rising talent and heart-throb, Orlando Bloom. But at the same time, his presence in this quirky British 'mokumentary' brought the film publicity which it wouldn't have been privileged to without Bloom's status. A double-edged sword.

Orlando Bloom is clearly a pretty face. And as shown in the Calcium Kid, a very pretty body (ATTENTION to all teenage girls who are a fan of Orlando- he is topless for a fairly long time!). But people are eager to see if Orlando can stand on his own two feet without high-profile and highly-talented actors like Johnny Depp (Pirates) and Brad Pitt (Troy) to help save his films. So far, Orlando hasn't really had a chance to show-case his acting talents as he hasn't yet played the lead role in a film. Until now. Granted, the Calcium Kid is a little British flick (sort of in the same category as Bend it Like Beckham) and it is a comedy, obviously audiences aren't going to see a really insightful glimpse into Orlando's capabilities.

Still, the Calcium Kid is surprisingly...good. That's right. It's funny. It's simple, charming and...funny!

Bloom plays milk-man Jimmy who is an amateur boxer (a hobby of his). Jimmy has had 0 wins. 0 losses. and 0 knock-outs. But a few bizarre mis-haps have Jimmy facing-off with a world boxing champion and things start going terribly wrong as his ignorant, and money-hungry manager, Herbie Bush (very funny Omid Djalili) lands him in the bad-books with his local town.

Look, Bloom isn't going for an Oscar with this film. It is a quaint, funny little British comedy. It is a guarantee'd laugh, and I highly recommend it.

As Jimmy's dad says "in a two-horse race, one horse has to win" - the Calcium Kid is a winning comedy. So give it a go.

I first saw 'The Calcium Kid' at the end of 2004, and have since bought the DVD. This movie is very underrated, with great performances from a mostly-unknown-outside-of-the-United-Kingom (at the time) cast. The film begins a week before a much-anticipated title fight between World Champion Jose Mendez (Michael Pena-Crash) of the United States and the undefeated British challenger Pete Wright (Tamer Hassan-The Football Factory). Wright is injured while sparring with Jimmy Connolly (Orlando Bloom), a milkman who is yet to have his first fight. Fearful of losing his chance at fame, Wright's manager Herbie Bush (Omid Djalili) replaces Wright with Connolly without telling Mendez or his take-no-prisoners manager, Artie Cohen (Michael Lerner-Barton Fink). The fight gains huge amounts of publicity due to the unusual nature of it, and the days preceding the fight send Connolly spiraling from underdog hopeful to fascist and everywhere in between.

Orlando Bloom is great in his performance as Jimmy Connolly. I think it is his best yet, in fact. As the leading man, he shows his skills at comedy, and is free from being overshadowed by the ensemble cast of Lord Of The Rings and Pirates Of The Caribbean. His reactions to the situations he finds himself in over the days before the big fight are priceless and pulled off realistically. Bloom, acting outside his normal period piece roles, proves that he can pull off many a different role.

Tamer Hassan is also great as the disgruntled Pete Wright. Despite his attempts to publicly humiliate Connolly and Bush, you really feel for his situation. Having the chance of a lifetime taken from you by a milkman is enough to set anybody off, and Hassan does the role justice in a hilarious way.

The Calcium Kid features great performances all around, such as those I've already mentioned, as well as Michael Pena, Michael Lerner and Omid Djalili. Look for supporting roles by Rafe Spall and Billie Piper as well.

Lastly, something must be said of first time writer/director Alex De Rakoff. The script is hilarious, and the mockumentary-style directing are spot-on. I only hope this is the first of many for De Rakoff.

To conclude, The Calcium Kid is one of the funniest films I've seen in a long time. Not only that, but Bloom's performance really makes you want to see his character pull off the upset of a lifetime. See this film; you will not be disappointed.

I must first admit to being a big Orlando Bloom fan, yes, for the looks not the acting, and was looking forward to this film. I was not disappointed. The story of Jimmy(Bloom) an amateur boxer being put up against Jose Mendez, world champion, is set in the style of a mocumentary. Billie Piper's long awaited film debut, though not a supporting role, could have had a bit more depth. Even so the film is simple and very cute. There are a few humorous moments and all in all I have to say i enjoyed this movie. Bloom's woodenness in other films is disguised by the fact he is playing a slightly dim character in this movie and even though this is not a brilliant film, I did make me smile!!