Samurai Cop

It is so bad that I couldn't stop laughing the whole time while watching this. Acting was brutal, dialogue seems Cheesy, and a bit both racist and sexist. Story was filled with plot-holes and inconsistency. Most funniest scenes were the action sequences. I just kept LMAO when the action sequences were playing. Editing and cutting was awful. A single fight scene was taken in 3 different locations. On another scene, wig came off of the main character, and it was clearly visible. Color correction was bad. Screen was getting tinted with blue, purple and pink randomly. All the woman in this film seems like acting in a porn movie. They couldn't hold on to their pants for 5 minutes, after meeting with the main protagonist!!!! In every romantic scene, It felt like watching an Adult movie! Jokes were terrible and funny in the wrong way. Every film maker should watch this film to learn 'how a film shouldn't be made, ever'!

Samurai Cop is a movie that is bad on so many levels that it's difficult to know where to begin. First of all, the acting performances are below average and lead actor Mathew Karedas seems to only have one facial expression. The plot is everything but clever, extremely predictable and could be described as almost childish. The dialogues are thin, unconvincing and often performed in poor English because the script was written by Iranian director Amir Shervan who didn't have much experience. The female characters in this movie are all stupidly obsessed with sex and the male characters try to look cool on purpose which makes them look like complete idiots. The camera techniques are often terrible because characters who are talking are sometimes out of frame or picture. Technicians are sometimes visible in the reflections of sunglasses or as shadows in a small room. There are numerous continuity mistakes with people wearing sunglasses in one cut and not wearing them in the next cut four seconds later, hospital rooms being filled with people that have mysteriously vanished five seconds later and people being asked to come from New York City to Los Angeles who are suddenly present a few minutes later as if they had taken a rocket ride. The locations of this film are also boring and mostly consist of exchangeable alleys, random intersections and cheap restaurants. The worst part about the movie is that the director forgot to shoot some important scenes and asked the different actors to come together again to finish the film about four months after it had already been finished. The problem here is that our static lead actor Mathew Karedas cut his long hair after the movie had been completed and had to wear a wig to avoid continuity errors. The problem is that this wig looks extremely fake and is even pulled off his head in a fight Scene if you watch closely which is the cherry on the cake of this goofy b-movie.

You might wonder why this film still deserved a generous five out of ten points. The answer is quite obvious. This film is so bad that it's almost good again. It's quite amusing to catch all the obvious mistakes. The film is unpredictable in its goofy weirdness. A nice drinking game invented by two German comedians specifically for this movie consists of drinking a shot of alcohol each time the main character's wig is visible.

To be fair though, it's a quite entertaining movie with a lot of car chases and fight scenes with bare hands, pistols, swords and improvised weapons. The movie also includes several soft porn scenes and a shallow love story that gives us a break from all the action. I was never bored by this movie because of its vivid flow. Most action movies these days either bore with complicated background stories, endless dialogues and take themselves way too serious or are filled with exchangeable CGI effects and enormous plot holes in unnecessary sequels. From that point of view, Samurai Cop is almost refreshingly grounded and unpretentious.

Fans of old-school action b-movies could be very well entertained by Samurai Cop and can give this film a shot if they are open to have some fun. My advice would be to invite some friends over while watching this film. Despite its numerous obvious flaws, Samurai Cop is still overall an average movie and not among the worst films I have ever watched like so many other people claim.

Second viewing of this trash epic confirms that my initial 10/10 was anything but unwarranted. You know you're getting awfully close to the absolute nadir of b-movie cinema, to that horrifying point of no return beyond all shame and therefore beyond reproach, when your name is Amir Shervan and you go on to follow up your cheapo Lethal Weapon cash-in called 'Hollywood Cop' with a cash-in on Maniac Cop by casting Robert Z'dar in a movie called 'Samurai Cop', a no-budget action crime flick where Z'dar is neither samurai nor cop (not even a maniac for that matter), where even protagonist Matt Hannon, actor in the broadest sense of the term, looks more like a poolboy instead of a samurai. Of course when you make an entire movie for no other reason than to cash-in on the larger-than-frame persona of an actor who made a career playing such refined characters as Igor, Mongoose, Brutis, Cobra Khan, Bongo and of course let's not forget the aptly descriptive Face (!) in Tango and Cash, it's not so much a question of good or bad, but whether it's going to be "this makes even Battlefield Earth seem watchable" bad or "break out the beers - Lady Terminator" bad.

Thankfully you don't need to get any further than the opening 15 minutes to know the answer to the above question; a staggeringly amazing prologue of b-movie awesomeness which, among other things, serves to introduce the Katana Gang, which counts within its ranks a red-haired chick whose entire contribution to the gang is announcing the entrance of the boss ("The boss is here"), the samurai cop and his mandatory black sidekick indulging in a little sex talk with the blonde helicopter operator bimbette in the middle of a drug bust, sped-up chases followed by amazing dialogue ("shoot", "faster", "shoot", "go faster") and a sex scene with underwear on (hey, it's low budget) between blonde bimbette and lovable hunk Matt Hannon.

What else do you need? Have you ever wondered what the real samurai code is (a real samurai always gets his weapon from his Katana Gang henchman)? Did you always want to know what is the mandatory hairstyle all Katana Gang henchmen ought to keep at all times (a mullet)? Did you always complain to anyone who'd listen that cinema doesn't have enough gay Costa rican waiters cracking jokes about suicide? Were you always itching to see security guards calling for security? The Katana Gang red-haired chick enriching world culture with the line "I'm going to change the trash" (!!)? Everyone in the movie getting sliced up while Matt Hannon is too busy canoodling another bimbo in a pool? Nurses randomly asking Matt Hannon if he wants to have sex with them, then belittling him for his circumcised penis? Matt Hannon pondering on whether he should make the arrest during or after the suspect has finished having sex, finally making his mind only to be stopped by a sliding door (!!!)? A beach house transforming into a house in the suburbs between takes? Well, here's your chance.

Yes, just break out the beers. I've seen quite a few no-budget schlockfests in my time but Samurai Cop stands tall among such venerable classics as Werewolf, Timechasers and American Commando - Angel's Blood Mission 2 as one of the most triumphant displays of unintentionally hilarious genius. See this if you're cool.

Writing this comment is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. The magnitude of this movie cannot be defined. It has it all: Japanese/Mexican Crime Lord with Mullet? Check. Guy who dies 4 different times because they didn't know enough people who wanted to be in this movie? Check. Random nurse scene with even more random clips of black partner's facial responses to nurse's comments about size of samurai cop's "sword"? Yes, that too is in it. Basically, if you ever saw a terrifically bad movie, and liked it, you will bow down to the awesome power of Amir Shervan's cinematic genius.

Smaurai Cop spares no expense. It gives you what you really want: Boobs, Racial Comments, Excessive Groping of Handgun by a Lacky, Fight scene with obvious continuity issues, Pimp Van in fast motion chase scene, Disturbingly Effeminate Waiter, 4 different samurai wigs, Matt Hannon acting, and too many other priceless moments to recount.

I am not sure how Amir got Robert Z'Dar and Gerald Okamura on this film (considering their "star power"), but thank God he did. This movie does not get the credit it deserves. It is one of cinema's greatest gems and should be recognized as such. Please, if you have watched this movie, and loved it, comment now!

Joe Marshall (goofy beefcake actor Matt Hannon) is a detective trained in the ways of the samurai, and together with his affable partner Frank Washington (Mark Frazer), he goes after the many goons and thugs working for big time Japanese mobster Mr. Fujiyama.

That's about it for plot in this knowingly cheesy, sloppy, and silly martial arts action movie mess, written and directed by Amir Shervan. Obviously he knew exactly what kind of movie he was making, and just had fun with it. Often, "Samurai Cop" offers plenty of bad movie charm, as it clunks along from one inept sequence to another. The acting is hilariously, endearingly dumb across the board, with Hannon as one majorly wooden hero. Frazer has many great facial reactions. The ladies present are delicious eye candy: Melissa Moore as horny cop Peggy, Jannis Farley as leading lady Jennifer, and Krista Lane as a henchwoman. Robert Z'Dar is great fun as Yamashita, the primary henchman.

Marshall dispenses with inept bad guys left, right and centre; ultimately, the movie isn't always terribly funny, and gets a little tiresome, but it's still amusing enough to make it pleasant if not uproarious fare. It could have used some better pacing, but still delivers enough laughs for those B cinema enthusiasts looking to have a night of bad movies and beers.

Six out of 10.