Common Law Wife

I rented this DVD because the auteur of crap, Larry Buchanan ("Zontar: Thing From Venus" and "Mars Needs Women") made part of the film. Originally, Buchanan started a project named "Swamp Rose" but ran out of money. And another bad movie maker incorporated this into his film "Common Law Wife".

"Common Law Wife" is a super-low budget film--made with a minuscule budget, no-name actors and lots of strippers--strippers that show practically nothing. It's a lot of tease and no please--the sort of crap-fest that was relatively common in sleazy drive-ins in the 1960s.

The film begins with a nasty old rich guy telling his live-in girlfriend to get lost. According to this old rogue, she's seen better days and he intends to bring his very sexy stripper niece to move in with him. Wow...an old pervert looking for a good 'ol case of incest! Talk about your family-friendly plots! However, the old girlfriend (who looks a LOT like Rose Marie from "The Dick Van Dyke Show") is not about to just wander off and die. She consults a lawyer who informs her that according to the rules of that state, she is actually the old goat's common-law wife, as they've been posing as a married couple for five years. So, when the nymphet niece shows up, the slighted girlfriend announces to both of them that she's NOT leaving. And, since the niece is a total gold-digger who wants the uncle's fortune, you know sparks are going to fly. What happens next you'll need to see for yourself...if you even care!

While the plot is sleazy, it could have actually worked. However, the film has a lot working against it. Crappy acting, of course. But much of the film looks like aimless filler--with dancing and swimming and stripping scenes which are obvious filler. Another problem is that the two films seem to have nothing in common. And none of it fits together seamlessly. For example, in one irrelevant scene, a sexy lady is cavorting in the pool with her boyfriend. She then runs inside and her hair is instantly dry. Why? Because it's NOT the same lady nor the same boyfriend--they are from the other film! And, I loved how some of the film stock looked very different from previous reels! How did they handle this? Well, they sloppily inserted voice-overs to try to hide that which was impossible to hide! Duh. But, since the film is a low-budget trash-fest, the filmmakers didn't seem to care in the least. And, considering the audience of the time wasn't made up of film connoisseurs, I assume they didn't care very much either. I just appreciated how the whole thing was a textbook example of incompetence on every level--the sort of film Ed Wood or Al Adamson would be proud to have made!

So is it worth seeing?! After all, I gave this one a very well-deserved 1. Well, no...not if you are sane. But, if you occasionally like a bad movie for a laugh, then this film is for you! Plus, the ending is pretty cool. Just don't let your mother catch you watching it!

By the way, I loved how the sheriff in one film has grey hair and the other it's jet-black!

"Common Law Wife," a made-in-Texas drive-in quickie directed by exploitation maestro Larry Buchanan ("Mars Needs Women," etc.) has it all: inept cinematography, bad acting, dubbing that's reminiscent of a Sir Run Run Shaw production, and, best of all, twisted, hate-filled characters like lusty old Uncle Shug, who wants to get rid of his aging common law wife, a shrieking harridan played by Anne McAdams (who would go on to have a lengthy career), so he can shack up with his niece, Jonelle, who wants to get rid of HIM -- permanent-like! Jonelle (stripper name: Baby Doll) has been takin' it all off in New Orleans, and damn if they didn't cast a real stripper in the part!

No nudity here, just your garden variety sleaze and down-home depravity. They don't make 'em like this any more, which is either a good thing or a bad thing...

In her film debut in the title role, veteran exploitation queen Annabelle Weenick (under her original alias of Anne MacAdams) really brings the opening and closing scenes of this misanthropic trash shot in Forney in Texas to life; and it lags badly during the interminable middle section when she's offscreen.

That the script is by a woman may account for why the scenes between the female characters are far more entertaining than those with the men - with the notable exception of those between Linda and her rancid old sugar daddy Shugfoot Rainey. Did the sheriff's wife pleading with her sister Jonelle not to steal her husband inspire Dolly Parton?

The uncredited jazz score - presumably library music - gives kick to the proceedings.

Depraved sleaze? Most definitely. Awful film? I disagree. While Common Law Wife certainly is no great nor good film, I thought much of it was better than one could or should expect. The story is about a rich oilman Uncle Shug who has been shacked up with a woman he picked up five years ago and has become bored with. Now, he wants to bring his stripper niece Baby Doll back home for...I'd like to say comfort but old Uncle Shug has different ideas. Well, Baby Doll returns, making men drool at her while Linda, Shug's old woman, discovers that in her state she is legally "wed" to Shug by common law. She won't leave and baby Doll wants her uncle's fortune at any price. The film has a seedy quality about it which cannot be denied: none of the characters are nice or even relatively decent - except by the film's end you might make a case for the common law wife, sex, deceit, and greed lurks from ever angle, and the end exudes a very naturalistic attitude to life and society. The director(s) do shoot many of the scenes well, exemplifying tension and moral baseness throughout. The actors are decent as each gives at least a mediocre performance. There is no real nudity in the film, though Lacey Kelly as Baby Doll is a sight for the sorest of eyes. A real life stripper, Kelly is like a ripe apple just dying to be picked from a tree. She gets picked a few times in this film. The budget is obviously threadbare, but directors Eric Sayers and old reliable Z film giant Larry Buchanan make the most out of what is at hand. I thought the film's ending, while pretty predictable, was done with some style. Cheers!

Common-law Wife is a sleazy exploitation drive-in movie that is so awful it's good. The story is about a cheap dancer named Jonelle--nicknamed Baby Doll--who returns to her small southern home town to shack up with her aging, wealthy Uncle Shug, who has just kicked out his longtime live-in girlfriend Linda. Unfortunately for Baby Doll, Linda claims she is Uncle Shug's "common-law wife," and she refuses to leave. While Uncle Shug tries to straighten things out at the mansion, Baby Doll has sexual encounters with her brother-in-law Sheriff Jody, and with a swamp-livin', moonshine-makin' bruiser named Bull. The ending is unexpected and memorable. Great fun!