L.E.T.H.A.L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach

And I do believe that this 1998 movie "Return to Savage Beach" (aka "L. E. T. H. A. L. Ladies: Return to Savage Beach") do round up my venture into the Sidaris movies. Most of which movies I have only seen for the first time here in 2022, believe it or not.

The 1998 action movie "Return to Savage Beach" has writer and director Andy Sidaris at the wheel, which is fortunate for the movie and the franchise at large, since his son Christian Drew Sidaris just didn't have the required skills to make movies worthy of his father's legacy. Sure, a movie like "Return to Savage Beach" is hardly a cinematic gem, but it does make for some cheesy watchable action.

If you have seen any of the numerous L. E. T. H. A. L. movies, then you know what you are in for with the 1998 movie "Return to Savage Beach" as well. Yeah, why fix or tinker with a formula that apparently worked out well enough? For better or worse, then "Return to Savage Beach" delivers what you would expect.

Sure, it is nice to see returning cast members such as Julie Strain, Rodrigo Obregó and Gerald Okamura.

Watchable for what it is, "Return to Savage Beach" is sure to please fans of the L. E. T. H. A. L. franchise.

My rating of "Return to Savage Beach" lands on a five out of ten stars.

Similar to Acalpuco HEAT, the syndicated TV show, this is a secret service agency that fights terrorists. The notable exception of this movie is that every female character has enormous boobs. Most of the women easily surpass Double D cup sizes. Every female character is matched with a studly male coagent who has to have sex with their respective costar during the movie at least once. This doesn't leave much time for a realistic plot scene, but hey, if you are watching this, you weren't really expecting much but Tits and Ass were you? Of note, this is when Shae Marks breasts were at her biggest before she had some of the silicone taken out. They are impressive to say the least

I hadn't seen an Andy Sidaris film in years (not with the sound turned up, anyway) and I had no reason to believe this one would be any different from his others. Those always had the same elements. First it would have a totally uninvolving action story full of explosions and martial arts. Second, it would have a script that was stilted and pedestrian. Third, it would feature almost uniformly wooden acting. I'm talkin' sequoia here. Last, it would be full of bodacious babes who were always clad in one of two ways: scantily or un-. Only one of these elements interested me (take a guess) and the others made his movies all but unwatchable.

Well maybe I'm getting mellow in my old age or possibly Sidaris learned something from his other films because I could actually enjoy this one as simple dumb fun. The main factor here is a switch in emphasis to flesh over fireworks and fighting. The story is still the same non-entity, the acting is as bad as ever (does Sidaris want it that way?) but the women are a softcore voyeur's delight, though if you prefer nature's bounty over the wonders of cosmetic surgery, you may not appreciate them. The way is led in this film by the udderly amazing duo of Julie K. Smith and Shae Marks, with Julie Strain also on hand and Playboy alumnus Carrie Wescott as the nominal villainess. Marks was also a Playboy centerfold model and one would have thought she wouldn't have needed to augment her considerable natural charms, but I guess that was a career decision.

This movie is not headed for the National Film Registry but I was able to enjoy it on some level and considering Sidaris' previous output, that surprised me.

With the tagline „The big guns are back", director Andy Sidaris returned to Savage Beach, almost a decade after the original „Savage Beach" movie. The title song is played while we watch the ladies swimming - pretty well aiming at the style of a Bond title sequence. Shae Marks looks like Lara Croft in her early (oversized) days when she enters Savage Beach in a tank top. Such elements of pop culture are nicely used again for an action flick that seems a bit confused in its first half, and sometimes uses annoying flashbacks, but later the loose ends are tied successfully, while another song named „Which ending does this story have?" ironically explains that confusing the audience needs to be a part of the show. Marcus Bagwell, the Warrior from „Day of the Warrior", helps the good guys this time, and Julie K. Smith gets the funniest scene when she can demonstrate her idea of punishing „bad boys". This is the last one out of 12 Andy Sidaris movies I reviewed, certainly not the best among them because it's a bit of a patchwork and lacks new ideas (well, there was a submarine at least), but I have to congratulate the ensemble since they never put out a real bore in all these years - and that, by the way, was the strong point: ensemble. With the exception of "Malibu Express", there was never only one star, it's always about team-play.

The last of Andy Sidaris's 'bullets and boobs' flicks is sadly the least accomplished, whereas the others had reasonably fun plots (threadbare as they were) to go along with the copious amounts of nudity on display, this one was just dreary & lifeless a mere shell of what these films were in their heyday (from 1985-1994) Very sad to say that the fun and magic of those films just isn't present in this one.

Eye Candy: Julie K. Smith, Julie Strain, & Carrie Westcott provide ample T&A; Shae Marks shows everything

My Grade: D

DVD Extras: Introduction with Andy and Julie Strain; Director's Commantery; 37 minute Behind the scenes featurette (featuring abundant nudity); Production Stills; Andy Sidaris filmography; web-links; Theatrical Trailer; and Trailers for 11 other Sidaris films (all with abundant nudity)