Hail Caesar

You people are failing to see what this film really is! How do you expect all the sundry pay channels that gobble your hard earned money to possibly operate on a 24/7 schedule without airing movies like this once or twice or maybe even all day? Think people! It's We who bankrolled this little gem. Time was, an embarrassment such as this piece of utter garbage would be shipped to the guitar pick factory. Now, its called premium television.

I just caught this on Showtime. I didn't know what it was at first but started watching anyway. I really enjoyed it. It was great to see Anthony Michael Hall again as well as Bobbie Phillips(Murder One,Chameleon). It was also amazing how many stars did cameos. From Samuel L. Jackson,to Robert Downey Jr. If your in the mood for a light,entertaining comedy,I recommend this.

I have seen some bad movies in my life, but this is the worst in years. With the exception of Robert Downey Jr's 6 minutes (at 50 minutes into the movie) or Judd Nelson's 4 minutes (at 80 minutes in), there is nothing redemptive. Samuel L. Jackson must have been paying a bad debt, ant obviously Downey was being generous. Leslie Dannon as the love interest is reasonably hot (especially in the end), but her acting skills run the gamut of a to b. Downey's talent is so clear in the scene and a half that he is in, that he is without equal talent wise in this film.

For a brief time in the mid 80s, i thought that Hall had some talent, but I have been healed of this mistaken belief now. How he got the freedom and financing to direct, produce, and star in a movie, when Judd Nelson's career disappeared, is beyond me. In my humble opinion, Hall is not a pimple on Nelson's hind end (to paraphrase Joe Seneca in Crossroads). Furthermore, it is hard to take anyone seriously who appears to have made a serious effort at looking like Corey Haim.

In addition, the production values suck. The editing sucks. There are noticeable jumps in movement (as if it were stop motion photography) during the Downey Jr scene.

I might add in conclusion that it i would rather pass a kidney stone than listen to another song by Hall.

I still can't point out what it is about "Hail Caesar" that I hated so much. On the surface, it feels like a harmless comedy. Obviously lame but harmless. But it keeps gnawing at you from the insides to the point where you just have difficulty watching it straight-through. I had to watch it in three or four separate viewings. I just couldn't sit through this lamebrain fluff for longer than thirty minutes!

I found this movie in the $4.88 bin, so naturally I wasn't expecting the Best Picture Winner for 1993, but I was curious about "HC" ever since I first heard about it. So I decided "What the heck?" and bought it along with a bunch of other discount videos at my local wholesale market. I'm sure Anthony Michael Hall gets cracked on a lot, and many consider him a "has-been." I still think he's a cool actor. I liked him a lot in "Sixteen Candles" and "The Breakfast Club." And recently, he showed off his talents as an adult actor in "The Caveman's Valentine." He's definitely a man with potential, but as for carrying on a starring role and directing? I don't think so. This directorial debut, and thankfully his only time directing, screams "amateur" from start to finish. Almost like a mediocre student film, meant to be enjoyed strictly by fellow students.

The big stars don't help much either. Sam Jackson is one of my favorite actors, and he appears briefly as a postman constantly getting chased by Julius' (Hall) dog. He's good in this small, supporting role, but he's not on screen enough to save the film. Old brat pack buddy Judd Nelson also has a supporting role and so does Robert Downey Jr. in his most hammy performance as a hyperkinetic wannabe music agent. Jackson, Nelson and Downey all appear very shortly but since marketing always finds ways to capitalize on the success of now-big stars, all three of them appear on the video cover.

The attempts at humor are totally lame, though I have to thank Hall a little bit for not being annoying about it. There's too many overdone, annoying comedies nowadays and that's the only reason why I'm going to thank him--even though the humor is way below par and only intermittently funny. The plot is very disorganized. It keeps on hopping from one subplot to another, and I can never get thoroughly involved. In the beginning, we're psyched up to thinking this is going to be about Julius and his dream to make the perfect band. But that gets pushed off to the side way too often. It mostly composes of an outlandishly predictable pseudo-love story between Julius and his would-be girlfriend (Bobbie Phillips), and her snobby, white-collar father who will do anything to make sure nothing happens between the two of them. The problem is, like all these stories go, the girl he's in love with...is a total bizotch!!!! There's not one appealing quality about her, other than the looks. Throughout the film, they don't do as much as come close to each other. How did the two of them get together in the first place? Yet he's in the band with this beautiful girl (Leslie Danon) who obviously been wanting him since they first met eyes. And here's the bonus: she's not a total bizotch!

Every once in a while, there comes a lost movie that happens to be really good. And you think to yourself, "Why has this movie been hidden for all these years?" This is not one of those movies. It has its (very brief) moments. That's all I have to say. All you Brat Pack fanatics eager to see more of Anthony Michael Hall's work better off buying the original B.P. features or rent them again. I'm hoping he will totally revive his career one of these days, but if this was an attempt for a revival--Sorry, try again.

My score: 3 (out of 10)

"Hail Caesar" was actor Anthony Michael Hall's debut as a director. With the exception of an episode of the television show "The Dead Zone", he has not directed anything since. Seeing this movie, the reason for this is pretty obvious. To be fair, he was working with a pretty low budget, which is pretty evident throughout. For example, in several scenes with two people talking, he never shows a shot of the two characters in the same shot - he just shot each actor alone, and edited both sets of footage together. But the problems of "Hail Caesar" go beyond the low budget. All of the characters in the movie are annoying and obnoxious, and the movie doesn't know whether to be a satire of the music business or a goofy comedy about a youth trying to win over the father of his girlfriend. If you are thinking of giving this movie a try because of its cast, a word of warning: Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Downey Jr., and Judd Nelson each just have a few minutes of screen time. Thumbs down for this Roman emperor!