Witchcraft V: Dance with the Devil

This was a simple and stupid film. An evil warlock tries to collect enough damned souls (using naked women in various ways to achieve this means) to bring the devil to earth. He uses this super-hot blonde lass (one of many throughout) to get a young warlock to do his bidding, and... Do I have to describe this to you? Many times the dialogue was laughably bad, and the special effects were cry-ably bad. The plot was so thin many times I forgot what was supposed to be happening. But there was a lot of naked, gyrating flesh, and be honest, that's why someone would check this out. Isn't it? It was all so rushed and amateurish and cheap, but, unlike the first "Witchcraft" (which had all those qualities), I kinda liked this one. And why not? It wasn't unspeakably bad. The women were attractive. I didn't go into looking for "Halloween," or even "Halloween 5," so I enjoyed the heaving bosoms and barely-memorized lines. If you're one of those people who like this kind of stuff, you will too.

Beautiful blonde Marta pretends to be a hooker, while her boyfriend knocks the john over the head so they can steal all his money. Unfortunately, he was hit too hard and killed, so they drag his body to their car. Unfortunately, they also get into an accident in which they hit a wino in the road. They speed off, but Reverend Meredith and his assistant were driving by in their limo and stop to help. Something flies out of the wino into the Reverend, possessing him.

Meanwhile, Marta and her boyfriend break down in the woods, and come across a man at a fire. He seems to be crazy, but in fact he's Cain, a powerful servant of Satan who collects souls of transgressors. He kills the boyfriend and makes Marta his servant.

Lawyer/reluctant warlock Will Spanner returns from previous titles in this series. He and his girlfriend/fiancé Keli (her first appearance in this series, I think, but a recurring character hereafter) go to a nightclub where Cain hypnotizes Will.

Cain has Marta seduce Will in his sleep, and thereafter is able to use Will to collect souls for him. Cain seems to be so powerful, it's unclear why he needs Will at all. Keli gets Rev. Meredith to try to help Will, since he's become violent with her. He brings along Anastasia, a German-speaking Christian gypsy witch of some kind. She's not very powerful, unfortunately, and while Will is a powerful warlock, he's deeply in denial about his powers and also about the fact that something is happening to him.

There are a number of nude and sex scenes, as usual. There's one in the shower of Will's home which is unusual if only for the size of the shower. It seems they're remodeling their home and haven't finished the bathroom, so the shower is really a showerhead attached to a wall in a big stonewalled room. The house, by the way, or at least the front hall of it, seems to be the same one used in Witchcraft 8: Salem's Ghost (1996), the only title in the series without any of the recurring characters or any reference to Will Spanner. Or perhaps there happen to be a lot of houses with front doors that have a large oval pane of glass in them, and a staircase with one turn in it.

Special effects are fairly cheap again as usual, although an effect with which the white of Will's eyes flash whiter is better than some of the other ones in which characters' entire eyes turn bring red or blue. The effect of souls being passed to Cain, however, is very cheesy.

I'm in the process of binge watching the Witchcraft franchise and am fast starting to think this is the worst movie series of all time.

Here in the 5th part we see the return of William the warlock, except now he's played by a different actor as I'm sure the last guy had enough.

He's spellbound by a rival warlock who uses him to collect souls for satan, or something.

With some of the worst overacting I've ever seen and sex/nudity in every other scene this really pushes for the title of worst Witchcraft movie. I'm not sure it is, but it's certainly on par.

I'd recommend the Witchcraft franchise thus far to people who like *Ahem*, people who are into *Hmmmm* guys and gals I don't like? *Shrugs*

The Good:

Boobs, what? I'm a simple man

The Bad:

SFX that hurt my brain

Antagonist is hammy to ridiculous levels

Cringe inducing

Dull plot

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

I didn't know Ronnie James Dio was a warlock

Poor girl, her top keeps falling off

Witchcraft V: Dance with the Devil (1993)

** (out of 4)

I'm not even going to try and give a plot outline for the first 18-minutes of this movie but if there was a "B" Movie Hall of Fame then they'd certainly be inducted. Once we get past this the film centers on Will Spanner (now played by Marklen Kennedy) who comes under the hypnotic spell of Cain (David Huffman) who has bought a rock bar so that he can steal the souls of people with the help of a sexy blonde (Nicole Sassaman). WITCHCRAFT V is without question the best of the series so far and I was really surprised at how entertaining it actually is (as long as you can put up with this type of film). The movie really changed the pace from the previous four by clearly hiring women based on their breast size. Yes, this one here is going for a lot more of the softcore sex stuff but I'm not going to complain because most of the scenes are extremely sexy. This is certainly the case whenever Sassaman is on the screen as she's certainly incredibly beautiful and her body speaks for itself. Another plus comes from the before mentioned 18-minutes that start things off. I'm not going to try and explain what happens but there are about five different events that take place and each of the five must tie together or else there'd be no story here. The way all of these events just happen to take place and connect everyone together is just so silly and so campy that "B" movie fans will be howling. The William character here is certainly the least interesting of the five films but thankfully for him there's a pretty fun villain. Huffman is actually pretty good in the role of the villain and I must admit that I got a big chuckle out of his evil speeches. The film offers up several sex scenes and like most skin-flicks that appeared on Cinemax back in the day, there's really no story around them, women just get naked. Those wanting the work of Bunuel or Welles would probably be best served to stay away from this movie but in regards to what the series has offered so far, it's a mini miracle.

I'm sure you've already read the plot so if you can look through the cheesy special effects and dreadful, monotonous music every time the bad girl gets it on it isn't bad. The chief warlock looks ridiculous and the bad girl can't act to save her life but she looks great in a see through nightdress so who's complaining.

For me I'm a sucker for big natural boobs and the blonde bad girl has them and we get to see them. I don't watch these kind of films for the plot or comment on society so a pair of big, non fake breasts being squeezed and covered in sweat works every time. Some of the other girls aren't bad. A shower scene between the good guy and his girl is OK but she's got fake ones and thus not for me that sexy.