Moser el descuartizador

For some reason every slasher from the late 80s has to have a quirky, wise-cracking killer, even though a mindless killing machine is usually a whole lot scarier. Our Freddie Krueger rip-off du jour (played by steroid-enhanced NFL star Lyle Alzado) ends every sentence with "bitch", laughs maniacally at his own non-jokes ("I just want to talk you...hahahahaha", did he forget the punchline?) and worst of all is on screen far too long. That whole trope with the villain trying to be funny works when there's actually some decent writing involved and the finale doesn't last forever ("Scream" would be an obvious example of doing it right). In this one the killer plays cat and mouse with the final girl for almost half an hour, the pacing of this movie is very weird. You have a very slow build-up, a somehow even slower third act, and somewhere in between everybody dies (mostly off-screen at that) in a span of ten minutes or so. There's one scene though that almost redeems the film, not too surprisingly it's the one scene that has an on-screen kill. It's the only scene that really warrants the coveted so bad it's good label, and I was hoping to see more of that. Unfortunately, the rest is just stale and generic.

At first glance, Destroyer looks like a very promising film for horror fans on paper. In an era where the slasher flick was in its prime, it looks as if this film sets itself apart from the rest. It features a human enemy who seems to be more of a genetic freak than an indestructible demon who does not target teenagers, as the bad guy usually does in recent entries of the genre. However, all the positive points end there and what we're left with is another excessively gratuitous gorefest that most horror fans won't take seriously.

Beyond Anthony Perkins, there are no seriously notable names in the movie. It's too bad that such the horror icon did not have a notable body of work after his defining performance in "Psycho", making several mediocre "Psycho" sequels and b-movies like this. Nevertheless, he plays his role as skin flick director to a T. Other than the two heroes, everyone else in the movie is either there to get killed or say a few lines. And the heroes aren't even of note either. The only difference they have with everyone else in the movie and in the number of lines they have. There is never any development of their characters, so you don't know what special qualities they possess that make them the good guys in the end other than mere coincidence and serendipity.

If there's one thing the movie has going for it, it's the way some of the characters get dispensed. There's a nice scene with a blowtorch and the movie's best part, involving a huge drilling device (as seen on the video box). However, as the movie goes on, the scenes become a little less graphic though we are treated to some body parts strewn around and some wax-museum quality bodies. Credit must be given to Lyle Alzado, who looks VERY menacing as the main bad guy. He shows a bit of acting ability in this movie. Throughout his brief career acting after football, which was cut short after he sadly succumbed to brain cancer, he was thoroughly underused as a main villain in movies.

In short, the Destroyer is a decent weekend b-movie. Its partly refreshing perspective on the slasher genre and its almost humorously over-gory scenes make it a fun movie to watch and laugh at with a few friends. Look for some nice (if inadvertent) homages to horror classics the Shining (with the blood on the wall sequence) and Friday the 13th (with the gotcha! end of the movie). Finally, be sure to sit through the credits for a very weird name for one of the movie's songs. The laughs are definitely worth a cheap rental.

This movie is worth watching (and buying) for one reason: Lyle Alzado!! Of course he plays a maniacal killer-who would expect otherwise? One of his best lines: Girl about to be killed-"Why?" Alzado (with a confused, quizzical look)-"Why not?" Another great scene is when Alzado clothes-lines the guy off his motorcycle, smashing the windscreen for effect! Classic! OK it's not fine cinema, but it is entertaining and interesting if you are an Oakland Raiders fan. Compare to John Matuszak in North Dallas Forty, Caveman, and Weird Science. Too bad those two never worked together on film, they could've provided some over-the-top bad guy scenes in plenty of B action flicks.

In DESTROYER, a movie is being made in an abandoned prison, where a riot had killed dozens of guards and inmates a few months prior. Said riot had started after the execution of enormous, musclebound serial murderer, Ivan Moser (Lyle Alzado). Now, as the film crew gets rolling, the real, hideous deaths begin.

Has Moser returned from his gargantuan grave?

This is one of those cheap, cheeezey movies that would have played well on the drive-in circuit of its era. It takes a while for this one to get going, and even then it sort of drags along like a tranquilized turtle. By the time we actually get to see Mr. Alzado's character, it's half over. This is a shame, since he's the only dynamic aspect about this entire project!

On a positive note, Anthony Perkins is rather humorous as the Director of the ill-fated movie being made.

Extra Points For: The aforementioned Mr. Alzado, whose cackling maniac character almost saves this film from its own dullness. Almost...

Destroyer is a prime piece of forgettable 80's horror schlock. Lyle Alzado (YES!) stars as a brutal inmate who somehow survives his execution, Shocker style, and mysteriously disappears. Soon after, the prison closes and a while later, the place becomes the shooting location for a women-in-prison (WIP) film, directed by none other than a lively Anthony Perkins. (Yes, they do shoot a shower scene.) Of course, slasher horror hilarity ensues. Yeah, I knew what I was getting into…the cover shows a buff, gleaming Alzado holding a big jackhammer with a mounted scope! Memorable line: "Could you hang on a second, Officer Callahan? I gotta peepee."