La cafetería

I stand somewhere in the middle on Blood Diner (1987). It has everything I want from a B-grade horror flick. Tons of T&A, really cheesy acting, a paper thin plot, over the top (almost comical) gore. But somehow it just can't shake it's cheap production values and almost retarded direction. Blood Diner was developed as a sequel to Blood Feast (1963) but ended up being a stand alone film with emphasis on comedy/dark humor. Anyone expecting a riveting, well acted film is obviously going to be let down. If you expect that kind of film from a movie titled "Blood Diner", then I hate you. Blood Diner is a cool flick to check out cause it features some really entertaining scenes. Such as a naked chick performing karate on her attacker, a topless aerobics class getting machined gun down, deep fried body parts, tons of 80's T&A, and a talking brain with eyeballs. It's a cheesy film that doesn't try to be anything but outrageous and comedic. Blood Diner is best viewed under the influence of a few brewskies. Check it out for cheap but don't spend $ on it.

you guys need to lighten up! this movie was one of the funniest horror movies i have ever seen. this is not serious horror, but more a black comedy. go hushpuppy woman!!!!!! the bad dubbing and even worse acting makes this movie hilarious! i think that miss jackie kong should have done more with the horror genre. she has cult status in my book! i gave blood diner a 10/10 because this is a one of a kind movie. i have not seen anything like this since bloodsucking freaks and hard rock zombies. go hushpuppy woman!!!!!! one of my all time favorites, i would love to have the soundtrack. anyone who has seen this movie, or thought about seeing this, make sure to enjoy the 'shake it out' song in the club dread, awesome!!!!!! definately, one of the best horror movies of the eighties! also check out stan and his doll, hilarious! 'don't do it stan, stan you'll get in trouble...' enjoy!!!!!! funny, funny, funny 10/10

Horror-comedy is something very difficult to do. So many films tried this blend of genres in the 1980s and failed miserably: Ghoulies 3, TerrorVision, pretty much anything Troma ever did. And only a few truly brilliant filmmakers were able to really succeed at this: Frank Henenlotter, Peter Jackson, Dan O'Bannon. This film is rare in that it falls generally between these two extremes. It's often very funny, and occasionally creative, but its obvious self-awareness can sometimes be trying.

Two brothers operate a vegetarian restaurant and secretly serve human flesh to their customers. They have an uncle (or what remains of him) who helps them to prepare for the feast of Sheetar by compiling a perfect woman out of assorted body parts. The bones of the plot are borrowed lovingly from H.G. Lewis's Blood Feast, but the majority of the film is pretty unique.

Unfortunately, because of their similarities, Blood Diner will always be compared to Blood Feast, and Blood Diner is just not that caliber of a film. Blood Feast brought on the sickening and sometimes too-real gore; Blood Diner's gore is cartoonish and cheap-looking. Blood Feast was technically flawed, but had enthusiastic performances and unmindfully creative camera work; Blood Diner is slick (as far as 80s horror-comedies go) and very self-conscious, but ultimately soulless in its execution.

The real key to a successful horror-comedy is that little dash of sincerity. You can have your jokes and fun, but a little sincere strangeness (or just plain scares) makes the film all the more real. If you like horror-comedy, and you've already seen Basket Case, Frankenhooker, Return of the Living Dead, Dead Alive, Re-Animator, and Brain Damage, you may want to give this a shot. It's sure as hell better than Troll 2.

Michael and George, owners of the best vegetarian restaurant in their small city, have an interesting social life. Where most people go home and spend time with their loved ones after work, Michael and George hang around with their deceased uncle. That's right, their deceased uncle -- who's actually just a brain and eyes in a jar that's ordering them to rebuild the goddess Sheetar so she can take over the world.

Sound like the perfect B-Movie? Well, in a way, it is. 'Blood Diner' is one of those little gems that takes you quite a while to appreciate. Sure, it's filled with as much low budget gore and cheesy sexist jokes as as Kong could fit into an hour and twenty eight minutes. And sure, there are members of my high school drama class that are better actors than two of the main characters in this film. But that's what makes it fun -- the fact that it was not only made to laugh at, but that you have so many chances to laugh at it.

Rent this movie if you ever get the chance and if you're into black humour and/or horrible but great films. And make sure to watch out for the biker, wrestling and Vitamin scenes. If you aren't rolling on the floor laughing at the end of it, never rent another B-Movie again.

The reviews of this movie honestly befuddle me to no end. The only way the movie could be rated this low by so many people, is that somehow, for some reason, they were expecting a serious film of some sort or another. Assuming the title itself didn't give them a rather obvious clue that this was to be a Herschell Gordon Lewis homage. And if they were..... well, if the first 5 minutes of the movie didn't serve them notice that they were dealing with a movie reveling in a flamboyant sense of camp and bad taste, then perhaps they would have been better off watching some pretentious art film. 'Twould serve them right for taking themselves sooooo very, very seriously.

This movie is a cheaply made gore fest, masquerading as a comedy, no excuses. Not that that's a bad thing, mind you. Sort of Grand Guignol in fish net stockings and garters. Evoking screams even as you laugh at it's over the top absurdity. Is it for all tastes? No, certainly not. But at what it tries to do, it succeeds at, for the most part. For me, at least, the movie struck a delicate balance between horror and comedy, two extremes that are fairly difficult to make work very effectively together, though it must be said, it succeeded far better with the latter than the former.

If you liked this genre (splatter comedies.... a rather narrow genre of film-making, to say the least), check out any one of the following, 2001 Maniacs, Frankenhooker, Psychos In Love, Bloodsucking Freaks, The Toxic Avenger, and Brain Damage. All cut from the same bolt of bloody cloth. And all equally worthwhile in their own way. Just try not to confuse any of them with Gandhi, okay? Class dismissed.