The Dirty Dozen: Next Mission

This movie had all the warning signs of a horribly cheesy comical re-make. Based upon "The Dirty Dozen," this almost unbearable 90 minutes of film made me almost rethink such masterpieces as Conspiracy Theory, The Blair Witch Project, and Batman and Robin. The movie itself was a mix between the worst Naked Gun humor, and a mildly serious Police Academy 7. Since it was also a "made-for-TV" movie, and since it was also a "made-for-TV" movie comedy, it is among the very cheesiest of the cheesy. So be warned, and watch out for Sonny Landham who played Billy in Predator.Particular attention should be payed to the German scene, which was one of the cheesy-funny scenes in the movie. But as a rule, avoid most movies with "The Next Mission" in the title, or comedies made for TV.

Hopefully this was the Dirty Dozen's last mission, or rather the "Baker's Dozen's" last mission!

Flat and unconvincing follow-up to the original where Major Reisman (Lee Marvin) is ordered to lead another group of convicts into France to take out a German SS general who is planning to eliminate the Fuhrer.

Besides Marvin reprising his role here, Ernest Borgnine and Richard Jaeckel also return "nearly" two decades after the original came out.

It's almost impossible for me to decide which was worse, watching the three cast members (from the first movie) forced to carry the burden on their backs and/or how terrible the story (and the apparent lack of character development and humor if there is any). I bet a college freshman could come up with a far better story that anyone would enjoy.

Stick with the original.

According to an article written many years ago, the original "The Dirty Dozen" novel was actually based on real life story. US military convicts were offered pardon in exchange for similar suicide missions in Nazi occupied France. They agreed, but after the drop they turned their tails and spent the rest of the war in neutral Spain. In real life, use of pardoned convicts as soldiers is rather common phenomena, as experiences in former Yugoslavia indicate. In WWII Red Army and Wehrmacht employed such practice. The operation that actually resembles this movie the most was conducted by Germans. In May of 1944, frustrated with unsuccessful attempts to chase down and destroy the core formations of Yugoslav Partisans, German High Command planned the daring parachute raid on the headquarters of Partisan leader Tito and trained entire battalion of convicts for that very purpose. At the end of the day, Tito, although initially surprised, managed to get away and the convict paratroopers, decimated in a hellatious battle, took only Tito's freshly tailored Field Marshall uniform as their only trophy.

Nearly twenty years after the original, Major Reisman again played by Lee Marvin gets assigned a new gang of G.I. convicts for another mission. If this had to be made why did it have to be done with the Reisman character. Lee Marvins age clearly showed which hurt the picture. Then to make matters even worse Ernest Borgnine and Richard Jaeckel reprise their roles from the 1967 film. Unlike the original the convicts are colorless, the mission pointless and the end cartoonish. Watch the original and consider the story ended when Charles Bronsons Joseph Wladislaw says at the conclusion `Killing Generals could get to be a habit with me.'

Part II picks up a few months after the first(despite coming out 18 years later!) which has Lee Marvin returning as Major Reisman(older looking but still game) along with Ernest Borgnine and Richard Jaekel in their original roles. Reisman must once again recruit 12 condemned military prisoners, only this time, the group seems even less trustworthy than the first...

Belated TV sequel tries to provide a seamless transition from the first film, and almost succeeds, but plot is uninspired, even silly(stop the assassination of Hitler? Unlikely in late World War II, but OK...) Works as well as it does by the good cast(Lee Marvin is still appealing, as are Borgnine and Jaeckel). Not bad at all, but hardly necessary! Still, there would be two more TV sequels, then a series.(Which I haven't seen).