Chattanooga Choo Choo

This film begins with an unscrupulous businessman by the name of "Burt" (George Kennedy) spending some time with his mistress "Maggie Jones" (Barbara Eden) when he suddenly realizes that he is late for an important party in honor of his extremely rich father-in-law "Alonzo Dillard" (Parley Bear) who is celebrating his 75th birthday. Yet even though his tardiness doesn't go unnoticed, things are quickly forgotten when Alonzo just happens to die that very day. Naturally, having only one child, Alonzo pretty much leaves his vast fortune to his daughter "Estelle" (Bridget Hanley). However, Burt is also promised the hefty sum of $1 million under one condition--that he gets an old locomotive known as the Chattanooga Choo Choo back in working condition and, once that is accomplished, has it driven all the way from the Pennsylvania Station in New York to Chattanooga within 24 hours. Just like in the song. Needless to say, Burt is elated at this news and even uses this unexpected opportunity as a publicity stunt to promote his newly acquired football team which he plans to relocate to Chattanooga as well. What he doesn't count on, however, is Maggie booking passage on the train in the mistaken belief that he has obtained his divorce from Estelle and wants to hastily get married on that same train ride to Chattanooga. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that I really wasn't expecting too much from this movie as it hadn't caught my attention until fairly recently. Even so, given the fact that it had George Kennedy, Barbara Eden and Joe Namath (as "Newt Newton"), I figured I had to give it a try. And I was glad I did as it turned out to be a surprisingly good comedy, all things considered. A bit corny at times, but a good comedy all the same. Be that as it may, while this film might not appeal to everyone, I enjoyed it for the most part and I have rated it accordingly. Slightly above average.

Wonderful colors.... Hmmmmm what else can I say..... awful storyline, awful comedy, awful acting, just plain awful... even back then.... I'm always surprised when actors of the caliber of George Kennedy and Barbara Eden have their names associated with such turkeys as this movie.

It is well filmed, in glorious, almost surreal colors, which I think is it's only saving grace... I sat through this tripe hoping(nay, praying)that it would somehow lift itself out of the mediocrity that is established in the first few scenes.... But no, I was disappointed... This waste of celluloid will remain just that.... and I'm truly amazed at how rubbish like this actually gets released.... But the colors were wonderful.

Fun-filled cast serves up the laughs in this sitcom style comedy about an unscrupulous football team owner and his endeavors to live up to his father in law's will.

Even rail buffs will be turned off by this waste of celluloid. A non-connected, early-'80s "Porky"-style adolescent string of puns and bathroom humor that is an insult to anyone who has rented this expecting some railroad action. In fact, the train itself is hardly seen. Get "Silver Streak" instead.

I have a theory about "Chattanooga Choo Choo".

This was a made-for-TV movie (look at the cast!) and somehow the cans made their way to movie theaters instead of the network and inadvertently got shown at your local theater. That's the only explanation I can offer for why such a stupid movie got released.

Eden's first major release in a decade is certainly nothing Major Nelson would approve of. With speeding trains, laxative, purple clothes, glue in peepholes, stuttering cheerleaders and Joe Namath, there is plenty of goofiness but nothing special. When George Kennedy in his underwear doesn't make you laugh, you know there's something seriously wrong.

This "Choo Choo" is just a time-filler between an episode of "Taxi" and your local news.

Three stars. No go, Joe.