Los siete magníficos gladiadores

When Conan the Barbarian became a hit in 1982, the Italians where superbly equipped to exploit that fad with a vengeance given their long history of producing bad Hercules and Hercules rip off films. Directed by Italian schlockmaster, Bruno Mattei (Rats Night of Terror, Robowar, Cruel Jaws), it features terrible dubbing, some nice actual Roman ruins for outdoor sets (they already existed and were likely free), the incomparable bad acting team of Lou Ferrigno AND Sybil Danning (who were also both in the Italian 1983 Hercules film), and it has a women's wresting scene where the competitors wear some very non-Roman tiny gold bikinis. The plot is pretty straight forward. Good guy (Ferrigno) gets a magic sword, recruits a team of gladiators, which includes sword & sandal veteran Brad Harris, and kills of a bunch of bad guys terrorizing a group of women. My personal favorite scene is when the "Emperor" tries to wield the magic sword, gets burned since he is not "divine" like Ferrigno. As the Emperor is wildly over acting getting "burned" by the magic sword handle, his cheap plastic crown falls off his head and bounces down a bunch of steps making very audible noises which clearly indicate the crown is very much made of plastic. The film does drag in places, but overall it's an entertaining piece of garbage for bad film fans and fans of director Bruno Mattei's work.

This Italian made, Lou Ferrigno lead remake of Seven Samurai (1954) is the epitome of atrocious.

It tells the Seven Samurai story, tweaked with Gladiators instead of Samurai and instead of excellent it's ruddy awful.

Ferrigno may have been an outstanding human specimen but he was certainly no actor. Surrounded by people honestly not much better, with poor action sequences and an excessively simplified version of the original plot and this is a a travesty.

One for fans of bad films? No. Good films? No. Seven Samurai fans? No. Basically this is for, Ferrigno fans? And hardcore ones at that.

Yikes!

The Good:

Nope

The Bad:

Cringe inducing acting

Cheesy score

The villians outfit, yikes!

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

The Hulk didn't do Ferrigno's physique justice

Nothing on television again and man this is on. Lou (Hulk) in this and man this is so bad that it hurts to watch but I am anyways just to laugh at it. How can the Director and Producers even think that this is something someone would love to watch? So many bad movies that get rated higher.

Not this movie being rated higher but there are. This one is just nothing to praise for it but the acting and playing too much instead of being a serious movie. Who ever likes this has to be completely nuts. No way someone could like it. Lou is terrible actor and okay body builder.

Oh well, they just keep showing bad movies on television. Just like America 3000 is bad too.

This movie should have been called One Magnificent Gladiator, One Mediocre Gladiator, Four Scrungy Men and Sybil Danning. Better yet, Lou Ferringo With His Shirt Off and Sybil Danning Almost.

I suppose it's in the tradition of Seven Samurai, but I don't believe it intends to be comparable. It is silly fun, like other sword-and-sandal movies.

I admit it does make Conan the Barbarian look like art.

Nobody who sees Lou Ferrigno and Sybil Danning in lead roles and watches the movie anyway has a right to complain.

I've heard from imdb's bio of Lou that the most he ever benched was 560. That's hard to believe, seeing that chest and those arms. I'd have thought at least 700, since I can handle 550 and nobody looks at me twice. So it goes.

I had the misfortune of seeing this movie at the theater as a kid. We did not come to see this movie, but rather the science fiction film "Dreamscape". Unfortunately, for whatever reason that movie was taken out and this one inserted in its place. Whatever you may think of that movie it was certainly better than this one which seems to be some sort of gladiator version of "The Seven Samurai". Well it is not, it is not even in the caliber of a Conan movie, it is not even in league with the Marc Singer film "Beastmaster". The film just plays out in the most absurd possible way, I saw this under the title "The Seven Magnificent Gladiators" and let me just say that there just not seven gladiators for very long in this film. They drop like flies in this movie with only Lou Ferrigno being a sure survivor. Poor Lou, I am guessing he was hoping he could have a career in acting other than being the powerful Hulk. He just never became the big star Arnold was and you have to feel a bit sorry for him as he was deaf and that impeded his ability to act. Still, I enjoyed his brief performance in "The Incredible Hulk" movie and I hear he did the voice of the Hulk and he did a good job with that as well. Hear, he is dubbed and the movie is just laughable. I laughed at the theater when that one woman gave that one guy the magical sword and he died and the lady who gave him the sword did not really seem that concerned.