La espada y el hechicero

Ah, this brings back the memories.

This was one of the scariest movies I saw when I was young, and one of the best adventure/d&d movies. Some of the scenes were truly gruesome, especially the big monster bloke with the beating heart. I still remember grimacing as the hero puts his hand on the tree and one of the baddies fires an arrow into it, and when Talon is attached to the cross and has to pull his hands with big nails in them out. Ouch, that gave me the heebygeebees. Classic stuff for kids, although I nearly died with embarrasment (watching this beside my mum at the time) when Talon is being chased through the castle and crashes into the bedroom filled with beautiful bronzed naked women.

9/10 as a kid, but the cast do know it's trash and ham it up for what it is.

"I have a debt to pay" ... for 15 years of viewing pleasure. This film is an absolute joy, untarnished by repeated viewings, sadly overshadowed by Schwarzeneger's vastly inferior Conan movies, and unreasonably critically trashed alongside truly terrible contemporary low budget thud and blunder efforts. The script creaks more than the plot, but reigned in from the curse of camp by director Albert Pyun the actors deliver their lines with a straight face and leave the the audience to find the comedy themselves. Almost a dictionary definition of "ahead of its time", the film is a blueprint for the success of Sam Raimi's Hercules and Xena, right down to the use of Australian bit players. Effects like the demon sorceror's tomb might be managed better technically today, but no more atmospherically, and the closing sword battle is a triumph. The performances are eccentric and electric, and you could not wish for a more motley crew of cut-throats and sidekicks. Richard Lynch eats the scenery with unalloyed zeal, and quite simply more of Lee Horsley as Talon would have made the movie world a better place.

One of the first fantasy adventure flicks to cash in on the success of Schwarzeneggar's Conan, The Sword and the Sorcerer has stuck in my mind over the past 30 years thanks to its relatively high level of gore and female nudity. Unfortunately, what I couldn't remember was just how crap the less exploitative elements of the film are. Lame fight scenes, a confusing meandering plot, half-assed humour, characters with really dumb names, wooden acting, and terrible direction: they're all here in abundance.

Let's concentrate on the positives then...

Pop this one into the player and you'll be greeted by a surprisingly good opening scene in which ancient sorcerer Xusia, resurrected to help villain Cromwell (Richard Lynch) in his quest for world domination, demonstrates his power by using magic to tear the heart from a witch. Some decent splattery make-up effects easily make this one of the best parts of the whole film. Juicy!

Not much later and we get to see the film's titular sword, a truly impressive piece of weaponry—triple bladed, with two of these blades able to be fired from the hilt at high velocity. This is inherited by young warrior Talon after Cromwell ruthlessly slaughters his family and their people. Boo hissss!

Years pass, the story gets awfully convoluted and characters come and go, but at least we get some scantily clad wenches to help take our minds off the sloppiness of the script, best of all being buxom, doe-eyed beauty Alana (Kathleen Beller), who along with her brother Mikah (Simon MacCorkindale) is plotting a rebellion against Cromwell. They hire the now grown up Talon (played by Lee Horsley) to help their cause. Cool!

Talon gets in lots of fairly bloody but badly choreographed fights, encountering more semi-clothed women along the way, but is eventually captured and crucified, large nails piercing both his hands. He gets free, of course, and with the help of Mikah, some friendly seadogs, and a few farmers, defeats Cromwell's soldiers. During this fight, we get a brief but really gory shot of a head being cleaved in two. Nice!

The end of the film sees Talon, armed with his massive weapon (oo-err), chasing down Cromwell only to be confronted by Xusia, who has been masquerading as Cromwell's evil adviser Machelli. Here we get another decent effects scene as the sorcerer sheds his human guise, tearing away the flesh from his face and arms. Yuck!

However, as enjoyable as certain individual moments are, the movie as a whole is a mess, a distinctly mediocre fantasy that I imagine will have many viewers fast-forwarding through in order to get to the next 'good bit'.

At the end during the credits there is basically something that says there is going to be a sequel, but there never was one. Kind of surprising they didn't considering this made 39 million back in 1982 which was a good take to say the least for that time. Considering it was rated R and didn't have anyone really big in it...the only person I recognize in the cast is Richard Moll. In the end though they didn't, which is too bad. This one is a good, bloody, fantasy film. The story isn't the best, but it has good action and sword fights, though the director really likes to show scenes where swords break like glass. As a kid I had trouble following the plot though as it was a bit hard to distinguish the good and bad guys, but later when I saw it, it was easier though I still say it could use a better plot.

The main reason this movie was even made was that they wanted it to be in theaters at around the same time as the film "Conan the Barbarian" in 1982. Believe it or not, both films were even released by the same studio! If the films had been made thirty years earlier, they would have been released as a double feature. They were part of a wave of sword fight pictures that included "Excalibur" and "Dragonslayer." Without a lot of fanfare, "Sword and the Sorcerer" managed to become a minor hit. One of the cast members was on a talk show and confessed that the success of the film was a surprise because that person thought it was not very good.

I enjoyed the action scenes and some of the humor. It has some good one-liners. The second half also has generates a fair amount of tension concerning the whereabouts of the sorcerer mentioned in the title. I also liked how the forces came together randomly for the climatic battle scenes. True, the film has many flaws, but it still works for me as an enjoyable adventure. It is the kind of thing I watch on a Friday night to ease me into the weekend.

Add me to the list of those disappointed that the sequel promised in the closing credits was never made.