Drive-In Massacre

This was actually pretty watchable for the genre it was made in. In no way was this film intended to be anything else but B-movie fare at a drive-in very much like the one portrayed within (minus the murders we hope). A nice touch is that it contains the semblance of a storyline. Instead of following the killer around as in most slasher films, they follow the two policeman that are trying to find him as they interview potential suspects. The very novelty of seeing it told this way made it fun for me. Some other moments, such as the not-too-seamless voiceover by a character named "The Great Germy", are so awful that it's almost an inspired kind of awful.

You basically have to have gone to the drive-in yourself years ago to see how dead on some of the portrayals of the patrons are. Yes it's schlock, but it's mostly amusing schlock and perfect for a boring saturday night when you had nothing else to rent; provided of course your video store even carries a copy of this.

For those who'd like to buy this and have no idea what they're in for; just ask yourself the following: Do you like such movies as "The Prowler", "He Knows You're Alone" and "My Bloody Valentine" ? Heck, did you even KNOW these films existed ? If the answer is "yes" to both, then you'll like this film, but don't pay more than 5 or 6 dollars for it. If your only exposure to slasher films has been Scream, I Know What You Did Last Summer, Halloween and maybe a Friday The 13th film or two, then you will probably not like this film and stay far far FAR away.

Granted this isn't a classic movie, but it can be kind of fun if you catch it in the right frame of mind - or if you've been drinking heavily. Basically the title tells all: psycho on the loose at a local drive in movie theatre killing everybody, and even the filmmakers don't know who the killer is. Lame, yes, but how can you miss gems like the title being misspelled in the trailer, (as "Drive in Masacre") The musical score is almost as bad as a record by "Jandek" - if any of you know who he is. An obvious latex dummy is decapitated in the first scene, then we see two Pillsbury Doughboy-looking cops questioning the owner of the drive in (he kind of looks like he's dressed as the devil for Halloween) The audio quality is awful during the first few scenes, so it's difficult to understand what is being said (not that it really matters, though) We get soap opera clichés involving pregnancy in between the first two gory killings, until the two cops go 'undercover' by dressing in drag just like what you saw in "The Town that Dreaded Sundown" trying to catch the killer, but just providing the audience with a few laughs instead. They interrogate a suspect 'Engleson' and the first cop obviously stutters his line while speaking to Engleson ("Do you know what that Engle ... *cough* ... do you know what that is Engleson?") A brief foot chase ensues, but leads nowhere except to an opportunity for the camera man's shadow to be visible on their backs several times here, and in the next scene. This is all good cheese ball fun for about the first 55 minutes or so, but after that, a 'so bad it's good' type of movie just turns terrible as they then try to pad out the short running time by showing that little leprechaun looking guy Germy loitering around the drive in, and then another ten minutes of padding involving the cops chasing an unrelated suspect though a warehouse - and the guy they're chasing looks like the same guy playing "Austin Johnson", only he's wearing a really crappy looking wig. If this sequence, and the lengthy opening credits scene were edited out of the film, the movie's running time would barely be about 55 minutes. This is capped by a twist ending that was probably lame even in an actual drive in, and it's even worse when you see it on video.

If you're looking to kill an hour and ten minutes, you definitely could do worse than this movie, it's better than some here have said.

Drive-In Massacre (1976)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Low budget horror film about a maniac cutting people's heads off with a ninja sword at a California drive-in. This certainly isn't a "good" film but it works very well for its type—a B budget drive-in flick of the 70's. There's plenty of violence and gore, including a rather well done decapitation and some wonderful, zany dialogue. The biggest problem is that the film runs a tad bit slow even at 74-minutes. The nice twist ending and warning was also a nice touch. This certainly isn't going to be remembered as anything great but if you like "B" trash then you might enjoy this one.

The movie is awful, cheesy but kinda fun to watch. It's better than I expected it to be - I thought it might have been a grindhouse style of film but it's not. It's a slasher, bloody but not a lot of that going on... it's main focus is on two cops trying to solve the murders! The best thing about the film are the two cops who could pass as brothers! Really, their facial features look similar to one another and similar build to their bodies.. only real difference is one is slightly shorter than the other!! I could see these two in a spin off 1970s TV show playing the same two cops and still solving murders. LOL! It's not a film to seek out - even for a die-hard horror fan - but it is an OK watch if you happen to catch it on one night or acquire it in a film pack as I did.

3/10

Dreadful film about a serial killer that repeatedly butchers his victims with a sword at a Californian drive-in. On the trail of the killer are two overweight police detectives with no acting skill whatsoever - which accommodates a cast of similar types. This film has little substance: we are given the killings with no reason at all, with no killer it seems, and with no credibility in direction, script, or acting. None of the "cast" seems like a real actor(maybe a case could be made for the guy playing Germy). The actors look like they move on cue. The script gives us nothing in terms of plot except that a couple cops are looking for a killer at a drive-in and they have three forgettable leads in solving the case. The direction is sub-par as the lighting is barely able to illuminate much of the action at night. The gore is ridiculously inept in execution, and the editing is just as flawed. The film is funny for all the wrong reasons, especially some inane dialog like the fattest police detective being warned that the ham sandwich he is eating may be his father(?) The film is framed in the same type of documentary prologue and epilogue used so much more effectively in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Here it is laughable. A truly bad film with little merit.