El monstruo de Marte

I haven't seen that many classic bad movies, but Robot Monster is one of my personal favorites. It is simply hilarious to watch. The gorilla costume and diving helmet are so entertaining that one could enjoy the movie with the sound off. With the sound on, though, you get to appreciate the "acting." In all fairness, the music in this movie is actually pretty good, which contrasts from every other aspect of the movie. The stock footage that appears every so often is an unexpected treat. The mind-blowing plot twist at the end really finishes the movie with a bang. I hope that anyone who enjoys bad movies checks this one out...you will be rewarded. "If I were a HU-man, would she treat me like a HU-man?"

ROBOT MONSTER is often heralded as the worst movie ever made, although I've seen plenty that are more boring than this zero-budget effort, which is enthusiastic if nothing else. The nutshell plot of the film sees a family struggling to survive in the aftermath of an apocalypse, where they're menaced by the titular alien.

The film features an anything-goes, shot-in-your-own-backyard feel which makes it hard to take seriously. I'm a huge fan of '50s sci-fi, but this has more in common with the dodgy offerings of Ed Wood than a real film. The acting is sub-par, the script even worse, and the attempts to enliven things by shoving in stock footage are simply helpless.

Things aren't quite so bad as all that, though. ROBOT MONSTER is a film that it's easy to laugh at, which counts for a lot, and Ro-Man is quite an entertaining menace...at least, he's highly amusing, whether it be his bizarre look or the way he talks in that portentous voice. As a movie, it's also very short, which makes things easier to take. Watch it as an unintentional comedy and you might even find yourself enjoying it.

Sure, this movie is bad. If, however, you have seen tons of movies, including tons of bad movies, you can appreciate just how bad this one is. This film is much more entertaining than any of the Ed Wood films I've seen. This is one of the best of the B classics. If you happen to watch this movie with altered brain chemistry, say you have a fever, it takes on a surrealistic vibrance that parallels a religious experience. every line of dialog has multiple hidden meanings and carry a tone you might associate with a divine manifestation. I felt like people from the future, or from another planet had gone back in time to make this film and bury it in the subconscious of our culture.

It's an old theme, and one particularly pertinent to the cold war. Aliens conquer the earth, and earthlings are too small minded to put aside their grievances, so all is lost. However, in the case of Robot Monster, the aliens are big guys in ape suits and old-school scuba gear (odd concept of a robot, IMO), and all the action in the film appears to be either stock warfare footage or scraps of bad sci-fi films found on the cutting room floor, spliced in with some pathetic burning miniature rocket ships, and all not even loosely tied into the "plot".

George Nader, who helped Frankie Avalon ruin the masterpiece of garbage cinema "Million Eyes of Sumuru", is the star, but the only people who act in this film are Claudia Barrett and John Brown (the Ro-Man), and even so, they're not very good at it. As a man well aware of his limits, Nader doesn't usually bother with acting. Like most of the cast members of Robot Monster, he simply recites his lines and adds a smile, a chuckle, or a gesture here and there.

It gets worse. I am a professional archaeologist, and though I appreciate the credit this film gives my profession, I sincerely doubt that any archaeologist will ever develop a serum that makes humans immune to every possible form of disease. Furthermore, I have ethical concerns about the fact that he tests it on HIS ENTIRE FAMILY, even if doing so allowed them to be the only survivors of the alien holocaust brought about by Ro-man! I guess this makes Robot Monster a pioneering cyberpunk film since the entire plot takes place after the destruction of most of earth's life. Most of the plot is incoherent, utterly ridiculous and unexplained.

You continue to watch because, despite the mediocre cinematography, worse than mediocre directing and script, you want to see just how much worse it can get. In that sense, this film is no disappointment. It gives Manos a run for its money, but in the end does no harm, and its a lot more fun, so I gave it a two (the extra star is for being harmless). This is an amazingly goofy and silly film, comparable in its absurdity to Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Go for it if you're into that kind of thing, or if you harbor a secret desire to see George Nader get married without a shirt in a ceremony performed by a German archaeologist.

If you could pick one single movie which fueled the bad sf/horror movie cult popularized by The Golden Turkey Awards and 'Mystery Science Theater 3000' then 'Robot Monster' would be it. Ed Wood's 'Plan Nine From Outer Space' is probably better known to mainstream audiences, especially since Tim Burton's fantastic Wood biopic, but 'Robot Monster' is just as good/bad, and the image of a lumbering goon in an over-sized gorilla suit with a diving helmet and antenna has become an iconic symbol of z-grade sci fi. Even people who don't know Ro-Man's name recognize his likeness and giggle. 'Robot Monster' isn't as inept technically as Wood's worst movies (especially his astonishing 'Glen Or Glenda'), but the script is as dumb as they get, the actors are wooden at best, and the not-so-special effects are laughable. What really makes this movie legendary is the "robot monster" himself, Ro-Man (George Barrows). You can help smirking every time you look at him, and when he pontificates on life and love the movie enters a new dimension of trash par excellence. And just dig that bubble machine and the unexpected (and totally irrelevant) use of stock dinosaur footage! Plus a score from (can you believe it?) Elmer Bernstein. 'Robot Monster' is a movie I never tire of watching. I still get a big kick out of it every time I see it. To say that it is absolutely essential viewing for anybody interested in cult movies is the understatement of the century! 'Robot Monster' is after all the movie that gave the world the term "psychotronic". Long live Ro-Man and all who smirk at his awesome calcinator death ray!