Tell Your Children

I doubt that anyone still takes this movie seriously these days but it's funny seeing how people went paranoid about pot in the 30's. There are lots of wildly exaggerated or plain wrong comments and accusations in it. Best among them are that pot is more dangerous than Heroin, it will make you violent and eventually incurably insane.

The film details how smoking pot changes the lives of a couple of all-american teenagers. In fact, they're so clean cut, nice to their parents and just plain perfect that you're actually happy when their lives turn bad. On the way there we see some really funny overacting and the way that middle America thought people behaved after smoking pot. A single puff immediately has you in hysterics, after a couple of minutes it's down to pre-marital sex (hey, that's enough to get me hooked!), followed by a violent paranoia and finally of course, insanity.

The film is fairly standard propaganda stuff and follows the three important propaganda ingredients to a T. It's badly acted, exaggerated in hammering home a couple of points and frightening the uninformed about the fact that no one is safe from this great danger. It is however fairly lengthy for a propaganda movie and it's not as ridiculous as I expected. Although there are some really funny scenes that rightly make this a classic.

"Reefer Madness" (originally "Tell Your Children") was created to teach parents that it's never too early to scare the holy crap out of your kids. Through this film we learn that the soul-destroying effects of Marihuana (Mike Nelson explains in the commentary that this film was made before the invention of the letter J) far surpass those of cocaine or heroin. We see firsthand that even teens who can quote Shakespeare like nobody's business cannot escape its evils.

Here are some of the symptoms of casual Marihuana use:

• laughing maniacally while running people down in the street

• playing the piano too fast

• having sexual relations with people you don't really like that much

• accidentally shooting people you do like pretty well

• having no recollection of being framed for murder

If your child has experienced any of these symptoms, he or she is a Marihuana addict. The solution is simple: force them to watch "Reefer Madness" because if we don't heed its warning, "Reefer Madness 2" will be coming to a theater near you or you... OR YOU!

My review refers to the new, colorized version of REEFER MADNESS (released in April, 2004.) Originally called TELL YOUR CHILDREN, this 1938 movie's been known as REEFER MADNESS since at least the seventies. There are three very good reasons to watch this DVD: The colorization makes the bland visuals of this propaganda film bearable; the commentary track by members of the colorization team is informative and witty; and the other commentary track (by Mike Nelson of MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000) allows the lone viewer to feel something of the effect of sitting in a room with a friend goofing on a movie. I have not watched the two other extra features, which are a new trailer for REEFER MADNESS and a new short called GRANDPA'S MARIJUANA HANDBOOK. I'll check out the new trailer, but the brief few seconds I saw of GRANDPA looked like pro-marijuana propaganda, which bores me. REEFER MADNESS is also presented in the original black and white version, so this is a truly complete DVD package. When the DVD menu is on the screen, marvelous recordings from the jazz-age play in the background. (The songs, of course, are related to marijuana, and they provide counterpoint to the put-your-blinders-on tenor of the movie. I wish there were a separate track consisting of such songs and that they were listed so as to be selected and played. For film buffs, the commentary on the colorization is the best part of this DVD after the colorization itself. Of course, the movie is unintentionally funny, and Bob Nelson's wisecracks are fun, but I loved learning the WHYs and WHEREFOREs of the restoration of this movie. The colorization is superb. Each character blows smoke of a hue to match his or her personality. Location shots show the garish colors of the depression-era billboards in the background. This restoration is vibrant. REEFER MADNESS is, as I've said, unintentionally funny, but it is also deeply dishonest, made, as it was, by people bent on bullying the young into behaving. Have the restorers painted a mustache on this monsterpiece? No. What has been painted on it is a warm smile. And that makes it worth watching, finally.

Well last night my friend and I smoked some of the demon weed and watched Reefer Madness. It was so obvious that it was made by people who had not only never been stoned, but had never even seen someone who was stoned. For a start the dancing in the apartment; Impossible! I couldn't move my legs. My friend and I figured out that the only way someone smoking dope could rob somewhere would be to go into a shop to buy munchies, pick up a banana and absent mindedly hold it like it was a gun, then get distracted by the sweets at the counter. When the cashier asked if they wanted anything else they stared at the sweets and said "Give me everything".

While I know from my own research that Cannabis has been linked, however tenuously, to certain mental problems so has sugar, coffee alcohol and television. But what I do know for certain is that while on dope you are incapable of hurting anybody else, even if they are hogging all the munchies.

Oh my gosh, my post-war generation was still under the influence of this tripe and believed one puff would ruin a lifetime. No wonder the 60's generation talked about a credibility gap as they puffed away. This is a bad movie highlighted by the ridiculous, and no one in front of the camera or behind seems to care. Do the producers really believe this burlesque. Or maybe they're shilling for the liquor lobby then regaining its post-Prohibition popularity, or maybe the plastics lobby worried about the manufacturing possibilities of hemp oil.

In a way, it's too bad the movie comes across now as a joke. Pot may not be the Devil's brew, but it does dull awareness, and in that sense remains a risk. So hyping the effects has had a reverse effect that also needs to be considered. Nonetheless, the movie's smug authorities from school principal to courtroom judge to official narrator are enough to get me to light up and puff away. Plus they're not even good for a laugh.