Hotel de criminales

'Hotel Artemis' has its fair share of cinematic kerfluffles from story structure to pacing. However, it's a lot of fun. This is mostly because it has a cast that is given roles that they excel at. It's such an odd assortment of actors that came together to create a stylish film that seems familiar yet unique at the same time.

There are rules at the Hotel Artemis, a secret, high tech hospital for the underworld of Los Angeles. In order to remain a member of this elite criminal's emergency room, you have to respect the staff and the other patients, much in the same way that The Continental from 'John Wick' has rules. It's neutral ground where egos, grudges, and guns have to be checked at the door. The reason for these rules is because it houses an odd assortment of colorful characters from all walks of life. The only thing they all share in common is that they are the worst of the worst when it comes to dirty dealings in a city known for its outlaws.

Jodi Foster stars as the nurse that runs the Hotel Artemis. She's a washed-up drunk who has long since lost her medical license, but not her skills when it comes to saving the lives of those who probably shouldn't be saved. Foster's portrayal of Nurse is much richer than the character probably deserves in a sci-fi action film. Tormented by the death of her son, she hasn't set foot outside the hotel for decades due to crippling anxiety. Despite this she is a no-nonsense tough as nails caretaker who won't hesitate to call upon her orderly, Everest, played by David Bautista, to expel unruly guests from the premises. Her character is the very cornerstone of the film and what everything and everyone is built off of.

The rest of the cast features the likes of Sophia Boutella as a beautiful and deadly assassin, Sterling K. Brown as a devastatingly handsome bank robber, and Charlie Day as an obnoxiously entitled arms dealer. The three are at odds given that the hotel houses criminals and criminals can't be trusted, and to make matters worse a full-blown riot is taking place on the streets below. Luckily, there is honor among thieves for the most part. That doesn't last long though, because, well, what fun would that be?

'Hotel Artemis' is the feature directorial debut of Drew Pearce, who also wrote the film. While he's proven to be an exceptions writer in the past his directing isn't quite up to par with the concepts and characters he's put together. While the actors all do what they do best with the roles they're given, the pacing and cinematography feel flat, which undermines the urgency of the situation. There's such a focus on putting together the leads in the film, that the overall threat that they end up facing by the end of the film doesn't feel like it's truly worthy of them and ends with a disappointing third act.

Despite the cinematic issues 'Hotel Artemis' faces, it is fun watching events unfold. Brown is unbelievably charming as a suave and debonair bank robber trying to get out of the underworld once and for all. Most of his scenes are shared with Boutella who has exploded onto the scene since 'Kingsman: The Secret Service.' Since then she's become a name I look for on movie posters and while her films might not always be great, I'm never disappointed in her performances. Then there is Bautista who has become incredibly popular since joining the MCU and is an actor that takes his art very seriously. He's someone who remains humble and works hard for everything he has. While the role of Everest might not be as juicy as say, Sapper in 'Blade Runner 2049,' he manages to use his imposing physicality perfectly in Hotel Artemis.

As we like to say here, "not all great movies are good." That isn't to say that 'Hotel Artemis' is a great movie, because it definitely isn't. However, it's a fun movie. It's a film that is mindless entertainment with enough interesting concepts (from medical nanites to 3D printing organs) to keep audiences intrigued with what's unfolding. It's just unfortunate that it never seems to achieve what it's aiming for. At its core, it's a film with great characters and an interesting premises, so much so that it almost feels wasted. That being said, it still a movie that I quite enjoyed sitting through. There are certainly better films that came out this week, but I feel like Hotel Artemis really rounds out the choices at the cinema. It's not a movie for everyone, but for those who enjoy trashy movies with reliable and talented actors, it's definitely going to hit the spot.

Hotel Artemis is a film which doesn't do a great deal wrong. However, it is also a film which doesn't do a great deal right. It just kind of hangs in mid-air, with clichéd characters acting in clichéd ways and having clichéd conversations. And then it ends. It's not actually about anything. It's also predictable, with precious little substance. It looks pretty though.

In 2028, riots are tearing Los Angeles apart. The film takes place primarily in the eponymous Hotel Artemis, a secret hospital for criminals in the heart of the city. The motley crew of characters, many of whom are known only by the name of the room in which they're staying, include Waikiki (Sterling K. Brown) and his brother Honolulu (Brian Tyree Henry), bank robbers who have been involved in a shootout with police; Nice (Sofia Boutella), an assassin who "only kills important people", and just so happens to be Waikiki's ex-girlfriend; and Acapulco (a spectacularly miscast Charlie Day), a weapons dealer and all round weasel. Also present are The Wolf King (Jeff Goldblum), Los Angeles's most feared gangster, who also finances the hospital; his incompetent son, Crosby (an underutilised Zachary Quinto); and Morgan (Jenny Slate), a cop injured in the riots. The hospital is run by "Nurse" (Jodie Foster), an agoraphobic alcoholic haunted by visions of her past, with porter duties handled by Everest (Dave Bautista). The hospital functions because all guests must adhere to a rigid set of rules (the first of which is "don't kill the other patients") and a strict no weapons policy.

Sounds pretty interesting doesn't it? It's not. The dialogue is awful, the narrative beats can be seen coming a mile away, and the characters are all architypes, with only Nurse really fleshed out to any degree. There's the loud-mouth snivelling weapons dealer, the gorgeous but oh-so-deadly assassin, the criminal kingpin and his screw-up son who just wants to be like dad, the skilled bank robber who spends most of his time trying to get himself out of the trouble caused by his unreliable brother, and the tough-as-old-boots medical professional who just wants to help people when in actual fact, she's beyond help herself. The premise may be reasonably interesting, but, in his debut feature, writer/director Drew Pearce undermines it by populating the milieu with cardboard cut-outs instead of characters. True, most of the actors give it their all (Bautista in particular gives a performance far superior to the material with which he has to work), but there's just no substance here, no depth. There are simply too many clichés at every level to be able to overlook them.

Yes, it's an original(ish) idea made with a small(ish) budget, which is exactly what we need more of these days, when every second film is a CGI-infested remake, comic book adaptation, or sequel (or a CGI-infested remake of a sequel to a comic book adaptation). However, an original idea is all very well and good, but it can only take you so far; the execution has to be there as well, and this is where Hotel Artemis falls down. It's simply not an especially well-made film. Pearce does a reasonably good job with the directorial side of things, as aesthetically, the hotel is really intriguing, with a nice use of primary colours and a well-conceived juxtaposition of modern technology and 3D printers with retro décor and secret passages. In terms of plot, however, there's just nothing to latch onto or get your teeth into. None of the characters really do or say anything very interesting, and a half-hour into the film, as it became increasingly apparent that none of them were going to be developed to any great degree, I just stopped caring.

Greetings again from the darkness. The feature film directorial debut of Drew Pearce is original and clever, while teasing with hope for a bit more than it delivers. Mr. Pearce is best known for writing the screenplay for IRON MAN 3, and now as a first time director, he shows enough promise to leave us interested in what comes next.

The film is set in dystopian Los Angeles a mere 10 years in the future. The streets are flooded with desperate rioters after a mega-corporation shuts off the clean water supply. The company is the film's real villain, and the only one that The Nurse (Jodie Foster) can't treat. See, she runs Hotel Artemis, an underground hospital for top tier criminals - the element that can't just pop into the local community clinic for treatment on the latest bullet hole or knife wound. These patients follow a subscription plan and must stay current on their dues to gain admission.

The Nurse forgoes any attempt at personal vanity and is instead an agoraphobic, booze-chugging, (mostly) stick-to-the-rules type, who pops in anti-anxiety tapes and ear buds whenever her pulse quickens. She has run the place since it opened 22 years prior and is assisted by a mountain of man named Everest (get it?) played well by Dave Bautista. He's a combination bodyguard, bouncer, handyman and assistant healthcare professional (check his badge).

The set design by Ramsey Avery deserves special mention as the Hotel Artemis is quietly housed in the shell of a former grand art deco hotel, now a victim to the city's carnage - though the neon sign remains illuminated. Its vacation spot-themed rooms are a sight to behold, despite the frustratingly low lighting. Occupants are incognito and use their room names as identifiers. Sterling K Brown is Waikiki, a philosophical bank robber who dragged his brother Honolulu (Brian Tyree Henry) here for treatment after a heist went wrong. Acapulco (the always energetic Charlie Day) is a crass, motor-mouthed arms dealer, while Nice (Sofia Boutella, THE MUMMY) is a freakishly skilled assassin.

The stress level picks up when the biggest crime lord of Los Angeles shows up seriously wounded. Known as The Wolf King, an admittedly bad choice for a nickname, Jeff Goldblum brings some smooth-talking toughness, humor and twisted class to the proceedings. More than a few tentacles are attached to The Wolf King and other folks we've previously met, not the least of which is a very special ink pen stolen by Honolulu. Mix in an injured cop (Jenny Slate) with a personal link to The Nurse and her constantly alluded to tragic backstory, and the movie puts off a Graphic novel vibe ... missing only the off-the-cuff insanity. It's just a bit too grounded for its own good.

The high tech/low rent feel forces us to recall BLADE RUNNER AND ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK, but of course, this film isn't at the level of either, as it lacks top tier suspense. It is a terrific reminder of what a talented actress two-time Oscar winner Jodie Foster is, and what a shame that we haven't seen her in such a substantial screen role since 2013's ELYSIUM. She really sinks her teeth into this odd character, and more than the action scenes, she keeps us interested the entire run time. The score is a bit too heavy on the droning electronic bass line, and while the Florida joke and nod to John Phillips (The Wolf King, "California Dreamin'") earns some bonus points, it's really the performance of Ms. Foster and the set design that saves a too-safe script.

So we have a dystopian, coming soon future L.A. where inhabitants riot to get clean H2O. Within it is a sanctuary of sorts where w/membership & following the rules you can reside in this sort of a hospital hotel secure from all that's going on in the streets. The nurse/doctor runs the place w/the help of a big muscle guy, and robotic medical help. They face all sorts of not-so-nice characters. A bit of violence of course to add spice to the intrigue. Script: A bit scattered at times, but somewhat creative. Acting: Interesting & different. Side note: There's a scene with a body beneath a pier that is almost identical to a similar scene in "Breath".

Maybe it's just me but I've not heard any buzz surrounding this movie and with the actors involved I figured it was due to its lackluster entertainment value. Not only was I surprised, I thoroughly enjoyed it from start to finish and highly recommend it.