Fishes 'n Loaves: Heaven Sent

My first clue that this was amateur hour were the credits. I remember when I first tried my hand at editing a home movie. That's what the credits looked like. Someone getting excited that they could have the credits on the screen get hidden by the characters in the foreground. Then gee look I can have my main character in the background with the titles in the front of them then do the same cheesy effect wit another character in front of them. Now on to the acting... You know what I'm as bored as I was watching stiff acting and bad dialogue mixed in with a bit of overacting. Don't forget the corny soundtrack. Constantly beating you over the head to stress things. Likely in order that since you don't know what to make of the movie the music can guide you along.

What is wrong with a sweet family movie that is not a Hollywood production? If it espouses family values, doesn't have any cuss words, can provide an opportunity for a family to talk about change and faith, I think it's worth a shot. Haters, step aside. Geek out moment: It also has two actors from Stormship Troopers I never thought would do a family movie.

Moderately amusing small town jokes don't quite sustain this light fluff about a pastor and family moving from LA to small town Arizona. All the quirks of the little town and it's people are just about okay. One funny part is how they start speaking like them.

The cast is okay considering they usually play the opposite of a preacher like the gruff voice Patrick Muldoon and the usually sexy Dina Meyer.

The inevitable conclusion takes a bit too much time to get to.

OK watch.

The plot dragged on and on. The dialogue seems to be designed to insult the Southern drawl in addition to being shallow. Uncle Joey and wife in Los Angeles sounded like New Jersey transplants. The characters were stereotypes. There was some sexual tension between the half-naked blonde and any of the men, and her attire and behavior should have earned a PG-13 rating. Halfway through the movie and there was only one episode of Pastor Randy doing any ministering.

5.4 stars.

Producers paid for this film, but it's not what they thought they had paid for. I know the executive producer thought, "what is this garbage?" At first it had some promise, there is an angel and the in-laws and they all seemed likable.

Everyone is way too good looking for real life. I've seen the two lead actors in various shows back in the early days, those young adult type shows like Melrose Place, or Dallas, stuff like that. I think maybe she was in "Starship Troopers". Anyway, she has aged quite well I must say. I have nothing to say about this film, however. It's awkward and not clever at all. The music is made up of a constant silly background melody, but it doesn't bring any emotion or feeling, so basically there is no musical impact. So the final product is half decent acting with zero plot, zero impact, zero intelligent dialogue. Don't ruin a good message. If you are trying to reach people for God, don't crank out such miserable content. Do better. If you are going to make it silly, at least cast Dean Cain.