Even Lambs Have Teeth

I found this on Amazon and it appeared to be promising which should have been my first clue that something was awry given that I discovered it on Amazon. As I said it started promising and the acting wasn't obviously awful and the movie low budget......at first. When things turn for the worse for the two protagonists of the movie it is like the film, the actors, the writers, everyone just gave up and the movie disintegrated into a -D list type of movie.

At no point in time did I feel like the girls were in any sort of danger. The movie attempted to show their abuse at the hands of their attackers but their lack of tears, grief and their fresh out the salon hairstyles did not give off an air of despair. A situation that would have anyone in pure panic has them seemingly detached and bored as they deliver their lines like they are doing a reading. Once they are on the path of their "revenge" the movie rushes along and loses any sense of logical semblance and because it is done so poorly you really just don't care.

4/10 and that is being extremely generous.

I saw this movie at its "world premiere" in Denver in October 2015. The cast and crew were on hand to talk about it before and after. This review is spoiler free because there is very little to spoil.

The film is a quick 80 min. So quick that it feels rushed, not much thought was put into the most crucial scenes. The actors said it took 3 weeks to shoot, 12 hours a day, but it felt more like they had banged it out in a few days. Things happen very suddenly and with very little weight or consequence. I'm guessing that's due to the very low budget. Most of the action occurs off-screen, something the crew claims to be intentional, but I suspect it was also the effect of limited funds and even more limited imagination, since there are plenty of low-budget films who managed way more creative solutions in the face of scarce financing.

There are, to be fair, a few really funny moments, but on the whole the entire script is too ludicrous to take even halfway seriously. If somebody invites you to see this film, bring a bottle of booze and settle in. You're in for a night of amateurish acting and terrible puns. These lambs may have teeth, but they're small and dull.

This movie plot has been done so many times and this film does not have any new tales on the old ones. Don't fix what isn't broken. The second half of this film also is so odd, you feel something happened and you missed it for the characters to seem like completely new characters so quickly. I will commend the special effects for the gory scenes but overall, not recommended.

Two young women, Sloane and Katie, head out to rural America to work on an eco farm. They need the money so they can go on a shopping holiday to New York. They are offered a ride to the farm by some friendly local young men. Turns out the men's intentions aren't all friendly and they are soon held prisoner by them. They escape and plan their revenge. Meanwhile, the uncle of one of the girls, an FBI detective, suspects something is wrong and comes looking for them.

Pretty much your standard kidnapped captive-gets-revenge movie, a la I Spit On Your Grave, except this time there's two captives. Set up is good though and the movie moves along at a very good pace.

The pace is maybe too fast though. Editing is a bit choppy and weird, meaning you are suddenly fast-forwarded (figuratively) through a scene when a slower pace would have prevented confusion.

Some contrivances too which ruin the plot somewhat. The movie had a grittiness to start off with but there were too many outs in the plot development to sustain that.

Some good action scenes though and the revenge is sweet. Never dull.

I've seen better, but I've seen a lot and I mean A LOT worse. You get what you clicked to watch. If you don't expect much you'll find it amusing. On a scale of match stick fire to full on dumpster fire- I'd give it an accidentally catching your favorite barbie's hair on fire.