selfdestructo

I have really dug some of Scott Schirmer's other movies/collaborations (Found, Plank Face, Headless, Space Babes From Outer Space, and to a lesser extent, The Bad Man). This one, not so much. Actually, I'm shocked there are some semi-rave reviews here. I will say this much about his movies, including Harvest Lake: They defy expectation. This is apparently his arthouse/sex/Cronenberg film.

The biggest issue I had with this movie is that it's underwritten. What in the hell was this about? Is everything just padding to get to the weird alien sex scene? Scenes (and characters) go entirely nowhere. Well, admittedly, whatever the scene, just leads to sex. If you're expecting another horror movie... you're wrong! I guess I can give this an extra star for rampant sexuality. And Ellie Church is always a highlight in whatever she's in. Yet, I was falling asleep a couple times.

A grand total of one person in this movie can speak proper English.

Where do I begin with this one? I wasted $10 and an evening on this colossal disaster. I looked at the box to try and see how long it is. The back cover says, I kid you not, approx. 78 feet (for the record, actual runtime is 82 minutes). Ok, how many opening credit sequences do you need? There are several here, dipping into the movie over 11 minutes. I have news for the filmmakers: NO ONE CARES.

I mentioned all the accents are out there, but no one takes the cake like the guy who plays Ricky's dad in this movie. His performance is so monumentally bad, that I can only assume he doesn't speak a word of English, and was fed his lines phonetically. And he's in the whole freaking movie. Every line is delivered like it's the very last he'll ever give. Every sentence, full-throttle, AND all of the emphases are in the wrong places. This character, plus various others, mangle words to incoherence. It's insane. And don't think the subtitles are going to bail you out. Whoever did the subtitles is (1) A flat-out moron, and (2) was COMPLETELY LOST. Drink up every time you see the word "mumbles" in the subtitles.

How do you create a time travel movie with ZERO twists? Time Loop has the answer! Have the result of every twist be the exact same thing. The answer is always... ("star") Ricky. No need for guessing! Also, the soundtrack is totally over-the-top. I don't think anyone in this production knew what the hell they were doing.

Time Loop is, hands down, the single worst time travel movie I've ever seen. And I'm a sucker for them.

Yes, I was excited to see Kevin James play against type, in what appeared to be a horror movie! He certainly looks menacing in this part, but ultimately, I think he's too nice a guy to really pull it off. And he's the only interesting element in this strictly by-the-numbers home invasion thriller. How many of these freaking movies do we need? Bad guys fresh out of jail looking for something in the house. There's someone on the outside they don't initially know about. Pet death. Guy catches fire. Last second heroics. And, here's a big staple, a female ("Becky") fights back. I'm assuming they couldn't get Will Sasso for the role of Thug #4, for their triumvirate of comedians in a serious movie (They went with a look-alike. Joel McHale also stars).

I thought it was a serious blunder not only never revealing why these guys were so adamantly and violently after this key (as well as planning this their entire duration in jail!), but also why the family refused to give it up, enduring torture, and even death! And we're never told why?! This movie carries no weight. It was all meaningless, according to the writers. And let me get this straight: The woman and her son weren't even tied down?! I laughed out loud when I saw her get up. What kind of a rinky dink neo-Nazi criminal operation do these guys have going? Sheesh. It's like these filmmakers have never seen a movie before. How on EARTH this movie gets a 6.0, with 26,000 votes, on this site is a real confounder. People are happy with the same old crap over and over? This wasn't even a competently made home invasion movie.

Ok, bring on another superhero flick, and a remake while you're at it.

I don't know how the Blu-ray fares, but Becky (the movie) looks absolutely horrendous on DVD. It's a movie from 2020, AND there's only one movie on the disc, AND the only extra is a trailer. I only see quality this bad when they cram 4 movies on a single disc. Yeah, they couldn't even get this right. Even the black bars were pixelated!