Aliens vs. Avatars

I was invited to watch this movie with a friend of mine. We both love Aliens and Avatar movies, so here might be the perfect combination.

Unfortunately it turned out to be more like a hangover or perhaps someone used to produce XXX-rated movies who have made this.

I am not sure if its a serious production or just some school project that was made to see how many IMDb users would tilt about it.

I hadn't heard of this movie until my friend invited me and after watching 50% of it (zapping through the rest) - I guess we know why it never showed up in any cinemas. No one would pay to watch this movie in a cinema.

The special effects looks like something made with AfterEffects in 2002 and the actors (if they are at all) are so bad I for a start thought this was going to be a soft-porn movie.

The "alien/avatar" parts are - well, looks like it was made as a school project.

If its just a school project, they can be "okay" proud with it, but don't waste your time on this if you like Sci-Fi. There is NOTHING in this movie worth watching - well except a half nude scene, aha! so it WAS a soft-porn movie or?

I watched that flick a few days ago. Of course not completely. I guess nobody ever did.

The most interesting fact about that movie is that it was directed by Lewis Schoenbrun. I did not knew that guy till yet. But it seems that he is some kind of mentally ill reincarnation of Ed Wood.

The movie is really not worth any description. There is a blue avatarish creature in a spaceship orbiting earth, a Pretator like other creature and a Lost in Space (1965) look a like robot. Also some college students. All of them interact somehow without any sense or story line. They walk around on grass, now and then you see a tree. Guess the whole film location was not bigger then 100 square meters. (Maybe somebody's garden or a lawn beside a motorway station?) Oh! Also there are some laser beams in a 1970s movie stile.

I was fascinated by the most unnecessary nudity plot ever added into a movie. Its somewhere at the beginning of the film. Some chicks hike to a cabin. Then one of both instantly starts undressing while the other one walks without any reason a few meters into the forest. The conversation and the music gives you the feeling that you got accidentally the wrong disc and you are watching some kind of weired hiking soft porn. The second chick undresses during she walks into the forest and apparently just throws her cloth on the ground. Which really makes no sense in any way. After making sure that you have seen enough breasts, the predator thing shows up and kill her or whatever, i do not care.

Well if you wanna see the most unnecessary nudity scene ever, then watch the movie to this point. Then hit the stop button and bump your head for the next 40 minutes rhythmic against the wall. I guarantee you! It will be much more fun and hurt less then watching the rest of the flick.

I could be mean and rip this film a new one but as my title says its just too easy a target so i won't bother.

Instead i'll just say well done for having a go at filmmaking but i think you all need to work on your skills both as filmmakers and actors.

It looks like it was shot on one of those low end DV or HDV pro-sumer cams and the costumes were made out of egg crates and old toilet roll although they did make me laugh so there was a silver lining.

I'd be remiss as a reviewer not to warn people that this is a very low low ...low low budget film and you should enter into it with expectations to suit said budget ...low.

Peace.

Bad, crummy, lousy, bilge, garbage, hogwash, and still there isn't a single word in the English language to describe this badly-acted tripe. Mumbling, squeaks, squeals, blank stares and stupid grins are passed off as dialog. The *cough* "actors" outdo Pinocchio in the wooden acting stakes.

I give this waste of an otherwise perfectly good blank DVD 1/10. If not for the bizarre record attempt to get bare breasts, gross misogyny, references to incest, a person attacked by an alien, a muscled, slow-talking jock professing to be the best friend of a weakling Übergeek, lewd suggestions, virginity-fixation and sexism into the first ten minutes, it would have scored half out of ten. The half being given to the director for having the nerve to actually publish this offal.

If, within fifteen minutes of commencing to view, you don't get the urge to bleach your brain to a crisp or don't feel like running around in demented circles, beating yourself upside the skull with a heavy bat, then please, seek immediate psychiatric intervention.

...if you consume this flick according to the following instructions: Get a bottle of good wine (I would suggest a claret), some fine cheese (Comté and Bleu d'Auvergne, for instance) and fresh bread (Ciabata, why not). Settle down in a comfy chair, with a glass and a bite and fast forward the movie through the first few minutes to the scene where Victoria De Mare walks topless towards the camera. Her suitably attractive body bears looking at. Pause the film... Enjoy your wine and cheese casting an occasional glance at the paused screen and when the bottle is empty, stop the film. You can now feel that you have been moderately entertained by this film (which is more than you will be able to say about any scene in Blubberella). Trust me, this is the only way to watch this film!