Backwoods

I like horror films to make me jump or scream. This one did. Yes, it's the same basic premise we've seen many times in this type of movie, but the plot isn't really what I watch these movies for. Also, there's plenty of new twists/elements in this one. This movie really had me cheering for the "good guys" - I was glad I'd watched it by myself, as the last 20 minutes or so really had me screaming at the TV, cheering the kids on. I really enjoyed watching this movie, and am buying a copy to share with my horror loving friends. Backwoods was apparently produced for Spike TV, so don't expect to see much in the way of blood and gore. (Needless to say, there's no nudity whatsoever.) Some old-fashioned traps make the chase scenes through the forest somewhat interesting, but I pretty much relied on Haylie Duff's hotness to get me through the film's 80 minute runtime (although I must admit I got quite a kick out of watch a mortally wounded techie put on an amazing show of shooting bad guys without even aiming.) If you're a horror fan, Backwoods is certainly a watchable film, but you won't see anything here you haven't seen before.

A couple camping in the woods is attacked by mountainmen. The girl is abducted to be a breeder. Later, Johnny Dash organizes a paint ball corporate retreat for his workers at a video game company. The store clerk directs the group to the same area in the woods where the couple was taken. Soon, their paint ball game turns deadly and the group is imprisoned in the underground bunker where the locals manufacture drugs.

This is a standard low-grade horror. There is blood but not much gore. There is violence but not well done. The actors are mostly B-level as indicated by the presence of Haylie Duff. It's a functional cheap horror that has nothing new or special. It works but only barely. It is all relatively amateurish except for a few solid old-fashion burning and falling stunts.

A team of FBI agents go on retreat in a California forest preserve, playing paintball as a training exercise. But the team is not alone, being surrounded by rednecks, inbreds and survivalists. What could have been harmless fun has now become a lesson in living.

The director of this film apparently grew up in the modern MTV world. He fills his shots with beautiful people and generic rock music. Not that I object to beautiful women or rock music generally, but this Michael Bay style of filming is style over substance, which gives the audience just that: a pretty shell with a hollow, rotten center. This film will be forgotten before it is even done being viewed.

And I know I've complained about his before, but... rednecks and hillbillies? Have we not done this to death? It's bad enough to make yet another movie about this... but then we have to make them all deformed looking? I think I've seen that film enough times. Sure, here we have California instead of the Appalachian Mountains, which is a change of venue... but it's the same old story. Oh, and now it's FBI agents. So, I guess, um, that's different.

No need to give this one a more full review. It's a cheesy knock-off, forgettable film. We get plenty of eye candy from Haylie Duff (but no nudity), but this doesn't really make a film worth owning and maybe not even worth watching. Not a horrible film, mind you, just nothing special.

Yes, you've seen this many times before, "Hills Have Eyes" and "Texas Chainsaw" being the obvious models (albeit with a lot less gore). City folk road-trip to the country, are attacked by inbred survivalist-type family, etc. etc. But especially a movie you'd find free on youtube or hulu or whatever, this one is at least fast-paced, adequately acted, and so forth. You will forget it pronto, but you don't be bored, unless you're the kind of person who needs a whole lot of nudity and gore to stay awake.

OK, seriously, I need to include more lines to post this review? Once you see the movie, you'll understand why there isn't a whole lot to say about it.

And no, not horrible for the violence/gore. This movie is just plain horrible because of the acting, directing, cinematography and far-fetched storyline. I strongly DON"T recommend this film to you because: 1: The story line is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard! Since when has work been playing paintball in the woods?! 2: Furthering my point of ridiculousness, a cult in the woods run by crazy old women. HUH?? 3: The acting is really bad. So bad, it probably would have been better if Paris Hilton was in it. 4: It's predictable to a high level. 5: It doesn't even meet the standards of a B grade movie which it is trying to be.

So don't be fooled by the "Haylie Duff" on the cover because she is probably the only decent actor in the film but she is hardly in it. If you want to see a decent movie about the woods, see "Wrong Turn" which makes a lot more sense and provides a lot more scares than this disaster of a movie.