I'd like to say this is the worst movie ever made. But the truth is, i dont think this movie was made. It was birthed in a port-o-potty by underpaid staff on a strict diet purchased from eateries on wheels. After cooking in the fresh hell of a concrete jungle for the better part of a month, some cracked-out maden of the night fished this movie out of the shallow depths of dispare with her used coat hanger, and rinsed it in her deseased menstruation. She then burned it to a dvd, and promptly passed into the next hell relm of her chosen faith. Upon finding the disk in her bloated puss filled fingers, a corner took the liberty to watch it and turned, like a character from evil dead after reciting from the necronomicon. Driven utterly mad, he spent his remaining two weeks on this earth making copies of the disk and packaging it, fueled by the smokey intentions of a disembodied demon witch and her curse of blight upon the film industry. After copying it enough times to fill his apartment wall to wall, top to bottom, he too shed his mortal coil as he had worked in a stuporous daze without food, water, or sleep. When clearing the apartment some moths later, an enterprising young someone saw the volume of disks and sought to bypass any sort of due process that films get, and rented a truck to remove and relocate the stock to a new location. He had been hard at work at this same building of the apartments as many people had strangely dissapeared or turned up dead with horrid looks twisted into their vissage. Seeing the inventory, he thought he had caught a lucky break, and was planning to sell the whole lot to a movie rental franchise. All it took was one sampling of the wares, and he too met his fate on the drive to relocate the inventory. As the truck sat in an impound lot, the town had an unprecedented uptick in violent home abuses, and church attendacnce fell to zero. A pastor, now out of work and on the ropes financially, sought guidance,
and through what he thought was devine intervention (but in reality was quite opposite of devine), found the wrecked truck and its contents, and carried out the deed set forth so long ago. The plot to distribute these disks in an effort to disperse the evil wrott by that aids riddled crone, so as to heal his city by diluting the suffering of plague, famine, and crippling bouts of diarrhea caused by this movie's existance, while also making a tithe-y little profit seemed a one stone/two bird trick, and so Kmart bought and distributed this disk in the year 2000. Shortly after, it too fell into complete financial ruin, and filled chapter 11 bankruptcy.
There is a sickness attatched to this disk. Words fail to convey the imperitive, but still i try: Do Not Seek Treasure Here! There is none but ruin to those who tread upon the grounds.
I have seen well over 1000 movies, and this one lands squarely at the bottom of my list. If it were possible to give a movie a negitive score, this one has earned that honor. Its not worth the plasic its printed on, and certainly not worth the time to even read the cover art, which is misleading at best.
