A.R.C.H.I.E.

Whether it's the corny plot, terrible dialogue or the extended fart scene (yes, I said extended), this movie is truly for the dogs. See what I did there? That's about the level of humor you can expect from this film.

It's nice to hear Michael J Fox working again, he's not enough to rescue this picture. Fox plays a talking robotic dog designed for military use whose primary programming seems to be spout every cliche ever written. The villains are cartoonishly simple, but then again, so are everyone's motivations.

It is cast and acted as a kind of teenage romcom/adventure, but it feels more like a Nickelodeon flick. Not the worst movie I've ever seen, but even my 10 year olds left the room before it was over. (Spoiler: the good guys win).

Teen girl Isabel Sullivan has to move in with her uncle Paul, small town mayor in Deanewood, after her parents' deaths. He also owns the local diner. Isabel likes local boy Aaron which gets her bullied by the mean girls. That's when she is befriended by A.R.C.H.I.E. (Michael J. Fox), a talking robot super dog. ARCHIE had escaped from his corporate and military owner. His designer Brooke comes looking for her missing dog. There's also Hugh in his ugly van. Meanwhile, Paul faces competition for the first time in a dirty mayoral campaign.

This is a childish kids movie with a big fart sequence. I don't mind it but it would be great if the leads are kids. These should be 10 year olds doing fart pranks. That may come with difficulties casting little kids but it's well worth it. The premise is silly and the execution amateurish that it doesn't work with older teens. They needs kids. Also uncle Paul needs to be older to be a true patriarch. Otherwise, everybody is fine. This is perfectly innocent but it is a little cheap.

This film falls firmly into a familiar category... A lonely young person befriended by a talking non-human. But if you go into it hoping for something on the level of E.T. you will be disappointed. A.R.C.H.I.E. feels more like a pilot episode of a TV series from ABC's old TGIF lineup in the 90s.

It's simple. It's innocent. It means no harm. Kids will like it. Adults won't be offended by it... and might even somewhat enjoy it thanks to the opportunity to hear Michael J Fox's voice. Ever since he was diagnosed with Parkinson's, he has done very little acting. So anyting from him is always welcome. Besides, sometimes fart jokes are funny.

Not the best in a movie, but can't believe they made a sequel.