The Virgin Killer

Poor lost little boy, nobody loved you... Alright, I know this event happened very recently so I'll try to be sensitive about things. Much of this programme features the late Elliot Rodger in his final retribution video to the world which was very rightfully removed from Youtube almost immediately, and my god, how grotesquely egocentric and utterly self-absorbed he sounded. The stuff that he was coming out with was just unreal, I couldn't stop rolling my eyes in disbelief, it was just so false and dramatic, with the ridiculous malevolent laughing and glaring at the camera. It was great theatre but I wasn't buying it, his act didn't ring true to me for a second, it sounded like nothing but the ramblings of a spoiled child desperately trying to come off as something that he clearly wasn't. It sounded rehearsed and tired, like he didn't even believe in what he was saying himself. I mean yeah he wasn't kidding, but I don't know, he sounded almost dead to me. I think he may have been living in some kind of dream world at that sorry point in his short life... A scene that to me very strongly demonstrated how totally consumed with his own bad thoughts he was, was when it showed him at a park that he loved going to as a kid and he's all lamenting about how all his happiest memories are of his childhood, and a second later a woman walking her dog goes by and as he laughs with her about it barking at him, the sense of the spell of his own little screwed-up world being broken for a moment with the human contact is almost palpable.. Too much damn time alone to think is part of the problem, a person can get toxically self-absorbed. I reckon one possible theory judging by his manner and effeminate voice was that he could have been secretly confused about his sexuality and couldn't handle it, and that's why he placed the whole notion of women on such a pedestal and turned sex into such a huge life-affirming deal. The part where he's observing an innocent couple on a bench and he's seething and full of bitterness at what he claims is the thought of the lovemaking that they'd probably later be having, but it was pretty clear as day what it was he was truly jealous of - their relationship, how they each had somebody to be with on the beautiful sunny day, and he of course had no one. Oh but that wouldn't do at all, in his sordid mind he had to pervert it, make it all about the all-important sex. It was probably the only connection with another human being he was capable of imagining. It's the ones who delude themselves who are often their own worst enemies, I think so. It's a truly sad and dark place for any person to be in. There's no getting through to the hardcore narcissist, they'll never see or hear of anything that doesn't concern themselves and their own sphere of existence because they simply can't, and trying to get through to someone with that mindset is like spitting at a stone wall. I didn't know quite how to take this strange young man.. I didn't hate him, I wanted to pity him, but I just couldn't, there was something about him that was abnormal and creepy. And no, the big conclusion that I came to about the guy wasn't that he was 'evil', and I could feel all good about myself because I'm some kind of angel which I'm not, although I know I'm better than a killer. I'm not innocent, but even on my worst day I'd never want to be that. He just struck me as a pantomiming wannabe villain type in love with the sound of his own voice. He may have talked like a big man but he was small, and he thought in frightfully small terms. And for how arrogant and vain he sounded, anyone could plainly see that he wasn't quite right in the head. He was sick and needed help, and he should've been put away before things reached such a terrible point. And what is he now? "Murderer", is to the world at large what he'll always be... Just another scary face in the book of maniacs. You know, if you're angry and lonely and find yourself constantly fretting about what you believe you'll never have please take it from me, there are good people out there that do want to know you for who you are, and people can change, they can challenge your perceptions of them and surprise you, there are always opportunities for a new understanding. And in any case, you can't demand attention like a tyrant just because you think you're entitled, like this child was. This was a very well done and haunting documentary that left me feeling pretty sad, sad for the victims, sad that another yet another disturbing story in a long line like this had come to pass yet again in this sorry world we've made for ourselves which is becoming more scarier all the time, and yes, even a little sad for him.. At least there's no more harm he can do to others or himself now. He couldn't get any meaning in his life while he was around, he's sure as hell not going to find it where he is now. This is the grand finale of a young life poorly spent and the end result is just overwhelmingly depressing. It's just another sick, miserable modern isolation sad story, that's all it is.