War Pigs

Dolph and his crew of misfits are actually a good fit ... for war. It's one of those B-movies that have a war theme. It's not really a movie that has many mysteries about it. Dolph has to coach a crew of people who no one else wants and from that starting point you pretty much know where this is going.

There is conflict within and everything else you could expect from a movie like this. It's decent overall if you like that kind of stuff. It's not Anti-War, it's more heroic than that. And the end suggests a couple of things, that you'll either like or hate. But your decision/mind will have been made up long before that

An hour of "training for the mission" consisting of lame buddy banter, then some action about as menacing as paint-balling, and a mercifully abrupt ending.

Photography and sound-track were acceptable. I could actually see and hear what was going on, unlike so many "straight-to-DVD" cheapies. And no pretentious gimmicks like flashbacks or twists, nothing "arty" at all. But the script and plot were like something a thirteen-year-old could come up with.

Normally in these "group of misfits thrown together" movies, whether war or disaster efforts, you get the same bunch of stereotypes, the Jew, the Black, the coward, the racist bully, the traitor, the alcoholic, the naive farm-boy, etc. This film was so half-hearted that none of the group even got depicted at that superficial level, remaining totally anonymous.

Honourable mention for Luke Goss, who gave a passable Clint Eastwood imitation. Should be considered if they ever make a Clint biopic.

Its not slightly shaky, its abusively shaky. Extreme close ups are gratuitous and leave the viewer without a sense of whats going on in the scene. The dialog was one dimensional. Bottom line, it tried way too hard to be cool and comes across as amateur and insulting to history and the viewer. I couldn't finish the film, so I can't speak for how it ends. But watching it was painful and nauseating. Its a real shame because I've been looking forward to its release for a while. I really wanted to like this movie. But at the end of the day, its produced so poorly that its rendered unwatchable. When producers realize that movies are about telling a story, in this case history, instead of trying to be cool, they'll stop getting overall failing grades at IMDb. Investors are throwing away their money.

Let's be honest, you saw the cast or description and thought this would be an action packed war movie. Sad to say, War Pigs is a slow trudging march of bad acting and unappealing script. Even the supposed big names like Mickey Rourke and Chuck Liddell only appear briefly and what little action it has is done without finesse.

Story follows Dolph Lundgren and Luke Goss as they assemble rag tag squad to overcome Nazi advances. This is practically the whole movie, they recruit some people, train them while creating bond of brotherhood. It may sound good if it had better material, yet the plot is barren and tedious. Be it may the actors or dialogues, neither are interesting.

War movie is tricky, it inherently has some expectations and emotions involved. Many movies with better cast and production have mixed result, War Pigs have none the polished delivery nor the gritty nature to pull off this kind of scale. It's simply a few men bantering for an hour and half. The subject may have been engaging, but the presentation offers barely any battle of wit or actual battle at all.

If the slow pace hasn't deterred the audience, the flimsy action would. With the leading action stars, the movie could have done at least action sequences right, instead it only produces a very amateurish effort. The camera lacks focus and gun fight doesn't even look remotely real. It probably wouldn't help much since the cumulative action is probably only ten minutes or less.

War Pigs certainly doesn't have the depth to present cerebral war theme, it lacks the production to capitalize on the action oriented cast and it's far from authentic to appeal to military fans. It only gives a sense of desolation and tediousness for the audience.

Let's face it - this movie is terrible. Crappy post production battle effects, terrible dialogue and clichéd characters. The pace is pretty slow and the story is obvious. Also I hadn't realized how messed up Mickey Rourke's face has gotten.

But this movie is fully aware of what it is.

Dolph Lundgren with a French accent? Hilarious. Even he finds it funny in his acting.

If you put aside your armchair IMDb film critic career and suspend your disbelief - this is not that bad a watch - along the lines of Dirty Dozen, or even Inglorious Basterds (okay it's no Tarantino movie but hey, in spirit) I actually enjoyed the movie as it went on. Also aside from some of the post production battle elements, they do a good job of using language, uniforms and some WWII era vehicles to lend a superficial air of authenticity.

But hey, don't listen to me or anyone else - watch it for yourself. Dolph speaking with a French accent is worth it alone.