Hearts Around the Table: Josh's Third Serving

Miss Hawthorne looks and dresses like a suburban trophy wife going to Lunch at the club for a couple of martinis. Otherwise she acts like a teacher well.

I can't believe other reviewers blame a hallmark movie for being a hallmark movie. The hallmark brand is loved by millions. Could Christmas be Christmas without hallmark movies.

This is a fun series. The characters are well developed and likable. The green screen shots are obvious. It's not a big budget but flows nicely.

Did the Band room get funded? Does the track team get new uniforms. Will Josh and Ella spark? Tune in and find out? Five more letters.

The actors in this movie are all very appealing. The concept, raising funds to support both sports and music programs at a high school, is fine for one of these Hallmark movies. But, wow, every other element of the movie is just terrible. The plot has more holes than a gopher-ridden golf course. It's as if the writers never attended high school, participated in sports, or been in band. Almost everything in the story is wrong. There's a good story here somewhere, but it would need competent writers to bring it out. The dialogue is just awful, and the editing and direction just makes the dialogue worse. Modern Hallmark movies are so much worse than those of years past and the primary reason is poor writing. It's as if they've fired all their successful writing teams and replaced them with people with no screenwriting experience.

This is the 3rd in a series of HEARTS AROUND THE TABLE, chronicling the lives of adults who are part of a foster family with Angie (Mindy Cohn) as the head of the clan. This story is about Joshua, a Math teacher and Track coach, (Jake Epstein). He meets a newly hired English and Music teacher, Ella (Stephanie Bennett), and they are both thrown together when the school announces budget cuts to the Athletic and Music Departments. So the teachers are now tasked to find ways to get needed funds for their respective programs. There is also a subplot when a new foster child, joins the group, a teenager, Gina, (Millie Davis) who is having difficulty with her studies.

This movie is way too predictable even for a Hallmark movie, viewers can guess the outcome after watching just a short time into the story. There is too little actual romance, between Ella and Jake, it's more like friendship, which contradicts the script when you get surprised by the words towards the end of the movie and you wonder, when did that happen? (which shows how poorly the script is written.) The supporting actors who play the part of possible donors need acting lessons, it sounds like they are just reading a script page from a teleprompter. There is the usual conflict and resolution ---HO HUM! And an anticlimactic "surprise" announcement from another foster character. This is a series where MY HEART DOESN'T WANT TO BE AROUND THE TABLE! Please Hallmark can we get some better scripts! PLEASE!!!!

I like the premise of these movies...the whole foster family story line. But this third installment...OMG the writing! As a high school special education teacher and a track and field coach, and a former marching band member.... I literally laughed out loud while watching. Why would funding be cut in the middle of the year? And why is a teacher starting in the middle of the year? And what PTA provides funding for extra curricular activities? Every school I've ever taught and coached at and also when I was in school participating in sports and band...we had to do fundraisers ourselves. Where's the Athletic Director and sports booster clubs? And why is an ELA teacher also the music teacher? Most public high schools that look as large as that one actually have a marching band and band classes taught by an actual music teacher/band director. And don't even get me started on how huge her classroom is!! And as for the track team Josh is coaching...there are way more expensive items than the uniforms. Pole vault pits by themselves cost over 20K. Then there's the whole ADHD storyline. The writers obviously know nothing about identifying and testing for ADHD...this is actually a medical diagnosis. Yes it's often identified in a school setting, because of learning difficulty and behavioral issues...and once a medical diagnosis is made schools can do further testing to see how learning is impacted and recommend either a 504 plan or an IEP. At least they did take her to a testing center...but the principal doesn't usually have anything to do with that. Is this different in Canada where maybe the writers are from?

Overall I just think the writers did very little research and just made a whole bunch of this crap up. And the actors just had to keep smiling and get through it.

Oh and sorry, but in the second movie...when Josh lined up some runners at a starting line and started them by saying "3, 2, 1 GO...", Ummm...no actual track coach starts a race (even in practice) like that. That's just ONE example of the dumb things he says as a "coach". Just no.

Like I said. A bunch of crap. And I'm usually a big Hallmark fan.

Okay, I am really trying to give this series the good ol' college try-you know, the desperate kind where you haven't read the book, but you're hoping charisma and caffeine will carry you through. Sadly, this third installment wasn't precisely the comeback story I was rooting for. Was it as bad as the first two? No. That bar was already underground. But was it good? Not even close.

Sure, the storyline existed. The leads had chemistry in that "we've been on set for 12 hours and have decided to tolerate each other" sort of way. But overall? Snoozefest. I spent more time checking my phone battery than caring about what happened next. The dialogue, bless it, sounded like it was written by an AI who's only ever read YouTube comments and motivational quotes. Weird pauses, clunky lines, and more forced conversations than a family reunion.

Then there were the side plots. Oh, the side plots. None of it flowed naturally with the main story-more like narrative speed bumps that kept jerking the pacing.

Still, here I am, 75% of the way through this cinematic hostage situation. Will the fourth and final movie redeem the series? Highly unlikely. But now I'm emotionally invested in the suffering, and quitting would mean all this mediocrity was for nothing. So, let's do it. One more film. One more disappointment. Let's do this.