British Scarface

I find 95% of British movies great and , to be honest, am probably rather biased, as I tend to dislike typical Hollywood movies, save a few. Even the British movies a lot of people do not like, I tend to. This is the reason I decided to watch the film, after reading the negative reviews on IMDb. A decision I regret. A single penny, cent, yuan or congolese franc spent on this movie is one utterly wasted. It is simply an abomination.

Firstly it is just odd, very odd. The timing in every scene is completely off, the dialogue ridiculous and the acting appalling. At one point I genuinely suspected it was a joke and they were attempting some kind of humour by acting as poorly as possible. In fact, perhaps they were. It is the only explanation I can come to.

The film is also accompanied by unnecessary sound effects. The front door to a house closing or opening has the sound effect of a creaking barn door and the sound of footsteps on normal floors replaced by hollow sounding steps. This is all the way through and the effects simply do not match the sound they are replacing would make. This has to be done on purpose, no-one could purposely make such glaring errors. The reason for this is perplexing. Maybe they were trying to be clever or 'arty'. If so, it was a huge failure on both counts.

It seems to have both very bad and very good reviews on IMDb. Like other commentators I can only assume the good reviews were left by people with a vested interest. I'd rather read war and peace backwards in Finnish than complete watching this film.

I am not usually a hater of "non-Hollywood" or "B" movies but this was TERRIBLE. I was so convinced that the movie would get better that I watched it all the way through and in hindsight I don't know how or why I didn't turn it off. Just an all around waste of film and money which leaves the viewer wanting to take the time back they spent watching it. Bad acting, terrible and plain stupid all together story-line, and an insult to "Scarface", "Pulp Fiction", and the gangster- movie genre in general. I did however reward one {mandatory} point for cinematography because, even though it was very hard to enjoy, there were some decent shots in the movie that could have been much more realized in a different movie all-together! I am sorry to anyone {like me} who has already wasted time on this movie because it sounded cool and to those of you who are considering watching; My advice to you: DON"T!

After writing this review, I'm going to get a chisel and hammer and see if I can dig this offencive mess out of my brain! Definitely the worst movie ever made! I know people say that all the time about films they've disliked but trust me, this IS the worst movie ever made. Atrocious - heavily wooden acting, banal dialogue (like a 12 year old trying to write a gangster story) and edited at times like the editor had suddenly zoned out on cannabis! BUT taking the biscuit is the diabolical sound editing, in particular the scandalous post-sync dubbing of the entire dialogue heard in the film. Absolutely laughable Production values.

Manish Patel needs to stop film making altogether before he causes somebody to take their own life after watching one of his hideous creations!!!

I say possibly because after 15 mins I couldn't stand any more, so I find it difficult to compare to the other contender, Get Lucky, which I also turned off after 15 to 20 mins.

I should have trusted the IMDb average rating of 4 but I was conned by the 6 pages of reviews consistently giving it 8 or more, with comments including "triumph", "best movie I've seen this year", "epic" and "Shakespearean". Who are these people? Well whoever they are most of them signed up between 1 month and 1 month 2 weeks ago, just after the movie was released.

If I were a cynic I'd say that someone from the production team has spent a couple of hours creating fake accounts and writing glowing reviews of a s***e movie. In fact I am saying that. The only thing that baffles me is why would someone want to draw attention to such a poorly made movie? All anyone who is conned into watching it will think is that it's terrible.

Onto the movie itself. Wooden acting. I mean seriously bad, totally unconvincing. I mean even to the extent that someone trying to simply look at something looked poorly acted. I still don't know how that can be achieved.

If you've ever seen Big Fat Quiz of the Year you may remember the children of Mitchell Brook Primary School acting out various new stories from throughout the year. The actors in this movie must look to those kids in admiration. That's how bad this movie is.

Do yourself a favour, trust the bad IMDb rating and avoid this one. With most, if not all, of the 60 good reviews twisting average from 200 votes as I write this, the score should really be lower than 4.

Wet afternoon, nothing on TV, put this on. Read some reviews on here.....Nothing could have prepared me for what followed. Even though some are accurate, the 8,9 and 10 scores made me give it a go, more fool me. I wouldn't know where to start if I actually went into detail. But, if you read all the positive reviews and decide to watch this utter drivel, then; don't say you haven't been warned. It is badly made, acted terribly, edited for sound by someone with terrible hearing and totally derivative.

It's utterly appalling!

Leave well alone.