The Drownsman

'The Drownsman' (2014) is an interminably soggy, low budget, zero voltage horror film about the tepid, water-logged exploits of a rather grubby, permanently damp Andrew WK-looking freak who gets his nefarious jollies by drowning nubile young females which proved to be about as diverting as boiling an egg, but without the edifying sustenance. Even if you distilled the entire film down to a 2 minute horror shot, it wouldn't scare the furry training pants off a baby meerkat!

The Drownsman: Madison has strange dreams after nearly drowning; a dark figure tries to drown her in a glass tank basement. Developing extreme hydrophobia she misses her best friends wedding, unable to leave her house due to rain. Her friends plan an intervention getting a psychic to perform a ritual, things backfire when the dark figure is summoned up. They now discover that he is the ghost of a actual serial killer who drowned his victims. The Drownsman is now out to slay Madison and her friends. Hands reach out of washing machines, a woman is dragged into a spilled water on a table and transported to the killer's lair. So-so effects with a few frights and a dark secret is revealed. Written and directed by Chad Archibald (Bite, Ejecta) who gives us a watchable horror mystery. 5.5/10.

This is your typical horror/slasher movie you get served here. A few good looking women (who are all friends), get haunted by something/someone. It's not really original, but it's entertaining enough to watch, if you lower your expectations enough. The physical aspect of the actresses work has to be stressed out, even though it shouldn't matter on your view of the movie in general.

The movie is also trying to give us something different every time we go into ... that other place. It's nicely choreographed and shot, if not anything else. It's predictable, but the tension is still there and you can watch it with a couple of friends as a party movie too.

A solid horror flick that gets hurt because there are a couple of plot holes that you sort of can't stop thinking about.

The plot involves Madison, played well by Michelle Mylett, who falls into the water during an engagement party for her best friend and has a horrifying vision of some sort of monster.

Cut to a year later, and it turns out this event has given Madison an extreme case of aquaphobia, since she believes that every time she touches water the monster appears. Her friends try to to cure her of this fear but it turns out that it may be true, that she may be haunted by the spirit of Sebastian Donner, The Drownsman, a supernatural being who travels only in water...

The movie is solid. Good acting all around, The Drownsman is introduced to us in a well done prelude and is generally creepy all around. The film doesn't meander -- this is not one of those "50 minutes of meaningless exposition and then 1/2 hour of the actual movie" films. It gets going right away and doesn't let up. Couple of nice twists to keep interesting strong.

Biggest problem is a couple of plot details that are hard to ignore. First of all, Madison's aquaphobia is extreme -- she can't drink water (takes fluids through an IV), she can't leave the house if it's raining (causing her to miss her best friend's wedding in which she was supposed to be Maid of Honor), and just a drip sends her into a panic. And yet... she has spotlessly clean skin, clothes, and obviously recently coiffed and washed hair. I know you're supposed to just "go with it" and it's "only a movie," but when they take SO MUCH EFFORT into making her extreme aquaphobia be a major plot point and then she seems to have no problem washing herself... well, it's hard not to think about it all the time.

Same goes for the "missed wedding." Her missing the wedding is the catalyst for her friends trying to help, and the bride comes barging into the house still in her dress. But... the movie takes places in the two or three days after the wedding. No Honeymoon? No husband concerned about his new bride leaving him right after the wedding? Again, even with the "it's just a movie" it's hard not to thing about that.

Make the aquaphobia a little less overwhelming and eliminate the wedding and I suspect there will be a lot less eye-rolling. None the less, still a solid film and worth checking out.

"Dabrowsky. During his speech. He called you the 'afraid of honor.' It sort of became the running joke of the night. Hannah did not find it funny."

Are you afraid of water or have another phobia when it comes to liquid substances, then perhaps it's wisely to ignore this film because this a rather soggy affair. Unfortunately, the whole spectacle largely fails. It ended up to be a disappointing slasher film (however it's only water that's splashing around instead of human blood). Most average, unoriginal horrors follow the well-known golden rules of this genre. Firstly, the main character always has ties to the menacing entity who makes the protagonists lives miserable. Secondly, there is of course no one who believes the main character. And third such a mainstream film is never fully resolved at the end. Believe me, "The drownsman" nicely obeys these rules.

Nevertheless, the opening scene looked promising and was imaged brilliantly in a certain way. The moment a young woman throws her head backwards while sitting in a tub and her long hair swishes water in the air with a perfect synchronous movement, was a moment that seemed to come straight out of a commercial for shampoo. Unfortunately, this highly aesthetically designed excerpt wasn't repeated during the rest of the film. It all looked extremely banal and ordinary. It wasn't really threatening or frightening. The way the victims kick the bucket, is downright lousy. Are you getting sick at the sight of blood, I can reassure you. There's not a spatter of blood to be seen here in this film. In fact the weapon used to vanquish the demon is something what actually isn't resistant to water. I thought a mop would be an appropriate weapon, so you could mop the villain away.

What bothered me the most, were Madison's (Michelle Mylett) three best friends. Three pedantic stupid chicks who, despite that they are furious about the fact that Madison has missed the wedding of her best friend, still are so kindhearted to help their friend with her nasty phobia. They ask Kobie (Gemma Bird Matheson), a medium, to help them out. She already has some experience with similar cases and according to her expertise it could be that they are dealing with a "haunting" ("Let's not call them haunting."). Eventually they use a fairly sadistic and extreme method to help Madison. They just immerse her in a bath. I think it would have been wiser to seek professional help.

As always I try to find something positive in a movie. The cause that created this wet demon, was a highly original idea. Also, the way it uses the medium water to move around, was not ill-conceived. And of course, the acting of Michelle Mylett was admirable. The way she portrayed the fear that came over her, during the appearances, was certainly praiseworthy. And the moments when "The drownsman" suddenly popped up, was reasonably successful but far from chilling. Unfortunately, these are also the only positive points I could come up with. The rest is just a storm in a teacup.

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