Land of Smiles - Reise ohne Wiederkehr

Look it's not the worst low budget film I've seen and I've seen lots pretty much I think they were trying to kind of copy the movie/s Hostel but this is no were close to this - the blond actress is at least nice looking but the acting is bad the story line sucks the clown is not scary and the film work sucks also when last did you see a flip up cell phone oh wait the good parts are the beach scenes and a pair of boobs gets a 3/10

I had to give it one star because zero isn't an option. Really don't know what to say except what a waste of time, watch a bunch of backpackers on an island in Thailand trying to make a scary low budget B movie. Classified as a holiday adventure would be more accurate. I've no idea what the movie is trying to be or say. Avoid. 0/10

This film infuriated me from the word go, really. I know a lot about low budget filmmaking and I understand that this film is not necessarily the worst low-budget film ever made... but it comes very close. Here are my two main gripes:

1. The acting - absolutely atrocious! From fumbling accents to people who can't cry/look scared properly, the acting in this stinker is all over the place!

2. The clown character in this is NOT menacing at all, with cheap costume, very bad acting (see above) and appalling voice characteristics, this character (who could have worked well) simply flopped.

Now, I am a veteran horror and low budget film watcher, 35+ years experience in watching them, and I have seen many films with HALF the budget of this which have been much better than this (not to mention half the trash that Hollywood spews forth every year).

There's no excuse for this - bad filmmaking that the director should be bloody ashamed of...

Do not waste your time. This movie is confusing and horrible as f#*k!

Grade A crap!

This little doozy makes me wish the videocamera had never been invented. But I'll say this for Bradley Stryker. He knows how to get his vacations paid for. This shot-on-video dreck is 98% amateur travel footage -- the kind of home movie a proud 1950s camera-owning suburbanite might have forced his friends and neighbors to sit through -- with 2% "horror" slapped on in order to market it to suckers.

If you're expecting another "Hostel" (or anything close to it) get that thought out of your head. This is more like a PG-rated travel video shot by Uwe Boll.

The "scary" stuff features a threatening clown-masked villain with a filtered voice -- to say he's a poor man's version of Jigsaw from Saw would be an insult to poor men. The rest of this video venture is footage of the actors dancing at raves, wandering the streets or lounging on the beaches of Thailand.

I'm embarrassed to say I fell for the ruse -- I kept watching, waiting for something of substance to develop. It was like watching a house slowly burn, waiting for the walls to give way and the roof to finally collapse. There are a few pretty actresses but don't expect much if you're looking for T'n'A, and you'll still be disappointed.

The ending is predictable and entirely anti-climactic. Writer-director Stryker hasn't a clue how to build suspense or tell a proper story. The videography is nice, taking advantage of the plethora of dayglo backdrops and lush beauty of the country, like any competent travel piece would.

Adding to the torture is the music. Stryker managed to dig up some of the most annoying songs ever recorded for this opus. The two at the end are particularly heinous, one meant to be ironic (Baby Girl) and the other a children's bubblegum ditty called Boom Boom something-or-other that cannot be adequately described with mere words.

Perhaps the worst thing of all is the end credit sequence, which takes us to a new location. Obviously our Aussie auteur has plans for a sequel.