Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre

This movie was actually pretty good for a terrible shark movie. The only thing that really hurts it is the gigantic plot hole near the end.

This film is rather unique in that it combines the horror of a "shark movie" with the implicit sexuality of a "Woman-in-Prison" film while maintaining a made-for-television format. To that effect there isn't much gore, sex or nudity. However, there are a number of attractive actresses and plenty of action to keep things interesting for the most part. I especially liked the presence of Dominique Swain (as "Honey") and Christine Nguyen ("Michelle Alika") but there were several other young ladies that certainly brightened the scenery as well. On the other hand, the special effects were quite bad and the ridiculous plot involving prehistoric sharks that are able to move about on both land and water certainly didn't help this film overcome its low-budget nature to any degree. But let's face it, this movie was never intended to win an Academy Award in the first place. That being said, although I doubt most viewers will probably enjoy this particular picture, I found it somewhat entertaining--in spite of its rather obvious flaws--and for that reason I have rated it a bit higher than it might deserve. Slightly below average.

Sharks again, really? This time Traci "Controversy magnet" Lords and Dominique "It almost looked like I was going to have a decent career" Swain star in yet another shark film.

When a group of female prisoners transport gets hijacked it comes down to them and the prison guards to team up to fight off the onslaught of "Wait for it" Sharkasaurus's. Prehistoric sharks that can move through land as easily as water! As you can imagine it's pretty dire and the distinct lack of budget cripples it. If you can't afford to make a movie about these beasties then simply don't!

Ironically the most famous performers in this film are the worst actors, maybe they just can't be assed anymore. Could you if you were in a movie called Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre?

The Good:

Couple of decent enough performances

The Bad:

WTF level cgi

Generic, clichéd, the works

Things I Learnt From This Movie:

Every shark movie creator thinks that a giant shark can swim & sneak up on people in a foot of water

Men are non-committal, women are mysterious

Traci Lords should have stuck to porn

Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre (2016)

** 1/2 (out of 4)

Idiots and their fracking causes some prehistoric sharks to break loose and soon they are attacking a group of women (and their hostages) who recently escaped from a prison.

SHARKANSAS WOMEN'S PRISON MASSACRE has a terrific title for a "B" film and if you're a fan of the Roger Corman style of filmmaking then you know a great title can usually lead to pure gold in regards to people checking out your film. Director Jim Wynorski has always been one of my favorite "B" directors thanks in large part to films like SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE 2 and BIG BAD MAMA 2. Both of those films as well as many others are short, to the point and deliver cheap fun.

If you're expecting something like CITIZEN KANE then you should obviously avoid this. A movie like this is just trying to give horror fans some cheap entertainment and for the most part I thought there were enough entertaining moments here to make it worth watching. For starters, the entire cast are pretty fun and add plenty of entertainment. This includes Traci Lords in the role of a detective and we get Dominique Swain in the role of a the woman who fixes the break.

The exploitation level is rather low so if you're expecting gore or nudity then you might be disappointed. The CGI sharks aren't too horrible but they are still campy enough to give you a brief laugh. Basically if you enjoy these direct-to-video releases then there are much worse out there.

The only way to save this by using the script, if there is one, is to start over. Hire Joan Crawford. Even dead she could bring some charm to the screen. The plot is somewhat tied to the great title, so there should be a women's prison with some sharks. If there is a Vincent Price type somewhere with a Shakespearean accent and piercing eyes, that would help. The cast here seems to come from a diet beverage commercial. The special effects are OK. The characters are written to be very stupid. Many of them seem to do what the audience knows is wrong. Fracking is the bad guy. I would guess they will make a buck or two from the title. It is a movie. They did get some people together with a camera operator and they made this. It is not a good bad movie, but it is OK for Bad Movie Night if you can't find Hillbillys in a Haunted House. No nudity. Probably OK for kids who like very dumb movies. I think Flaws is a better Jaws parody.