The Barn

On Halloween, 1989, some teens in southwest Pennsylvania make the mistake of entering a forbidden barn, which unleashes three diabolical creatures: a miner boogeyman, a pumpkin man and a scarecrow.

"The Barn" (2016) only cost $80,000 and was a life-long dream project of producer/writer/director Justin M. Seaman. I've seen several such movies by Indie filmmakers shooting in their beloved local areas and you have to understandably brace yourself for the worst, like stilted acting, lousy sound, questionable editing, cheesy effects and unconvincing action sequences. Considering the limited budget, this scores proficiently in all the above with 'B' queen Linnea Quigley showing up for a one-day gig. It's colorful and has a great rockin' soundtrack by no-name artists. The key actors take a relatively serious approach while some of the peripherals ham it up in an amusing way, like Sam's dad.

Where it drops the ball is the writing. There's not enough depth beyond the descriptive blurb above and so I found myself bored with the story and characters in the second half. A similar Indie production, "Angel" (2018), featured stilted acting and lousy action scenes, but it at least had an interesting story (and great cinematography and locations), which made it more rewarding even though "The Barn" is technically superior and delivers the goods for fun Halloween ambiance.

Lexi Dripps (Michelle) and Nikki Howell (Nikki) are serviceable on the feminine front, but more shoulda been done with them. A body double was, incidentally, used for the latter's brief top-nude scene.

It runs 1 hour, 28 minutes, and was shot in various areas of southwest Pennsylvania, including West Alexander (main location), Claysville (street scenes), Washington (roller rink) and Emsworth (Dr. Rock sequence).

GRADE: C+

Judging by the recent plenitude of (horror) movies - and even entire TV-series - that are either taking place during OR unmistakably paying tribute to the 1980s, I think it's safe to say that a whole new generation of filmmakers suffer from "homesickness" (by lack of a better term) towards the decade in which it was so much easier and more fun to produce and watch horror movies! There's noticeably an immense longing for the good old times when stereotypical characters and clichéd plot lines weren't world-widely criticized on the Internet before the movie got properly released (what Internet?), when dumb teenage protagonists were still getting into physical trouble rather than belittling each other via social media, and when horror victims were still being massacred by killers & monsters with hideous make- up effects rather than by digitalized computer creations. "The Barn" obviously also belongs in this trend and, although not as popular or hyped as "Stranger Things" or "The Final Girls", it's definitely worth checking out for fans of old-school splatter as well as amateurish yet enthusiast low-budget film making. It's almost Halloween in the year 1989, and the 19-year-old but still very immature buddies Sam and Josh are petrifying the neighborhood children and annoying their teacher (cameo of none other than Linnea Quigley). The next day, on their way to a Halloween concert with a few more friends, they stop at a godforsaken barn where according to an ancient local legend three sinister Halloween monsters lie buried. Against the will of firm legend-believer Sam, the group knocks at the door and thus awakens the Boogeyman miner, Hallowed Jack-o-Lantern and Candycorn Scarecrow. The monsters promptly go on a killing spree in the nearby town Helen's Valley, with as gory highlight the extermination of nearly the entire village during the annual Halloween dance. Writer/director Justin Seaman has a lot of heart for the genre and many bright ideas, and therefore you also gladly forgive the lack of style and the many directorial defaults. There are too many overlong dialogues, redundant sequences and questionable performances, but it doesn't matter all that much because this is a full-blooded Halloween feature and highly recommended for the fans. Too many gore-highlights to choose from, including decapitations, eye- gouging, pickax in the head, etc… There's also a good soundtrack and – like it was the case in the 80s - even a bit of totally gratuitous nudity.

The movie itself was very amateur...the dialogue, acting, story line...everything screams amateur...except the score and soundtrack, that was a great, retro, horror movie score. The action scenes are too short...left me wanting more...it was like there was a build up to each, then they were over in two hits. It really didn't hold my interest, but I did like the idea of the movie, it just needed to be fleshed out a little more. Overall, nice attempt at a horror movie throwback to the 80's, but not spectacular.

The music, however was very well done for such a low budget film. The soundtrack and score were both pretty good, I was impressed and that's the main reason for writing the review...the score and soundtrack deserved a shout out.

So the movie is pretty cheesy and campy, but that was also clearly the intent. I thought it was hilarious.

I picked up a copy of "The Barn" given the movie's cover, and it did seem like it could be an interesting enough horror movie. It definitely had that throwback feel to it, back to the 1980s of horror movies.

And the movie definitely also had that ages feel to it. So that was at least counting in favor of the movie. But it was hardly enough to loom over everything that the movie was failing at.

First and foremost, the storyline in the movie was, and let me just be blatantly honest here, pointless and boring. The movie offered nothing new to the genre, and it felt like it was running on so much auto-pilot that it was derailing itself. Predictable to the core.

The characters in the movie were flaccid and one-dimensional, offering very little flavor to the movie.

As for the acting, well it was adequate enough, taking into consideration the type of movie and its budget size. Just don't go into watching "The Barn" with the hopes of seeing brilliant performances that will blow you away.

The creatures, monsters, call them what you will, in the movie were adequate enough. They weren't scary at all though. But the concept idea of them was interesting enough.

In terms of horror and shock value, then "The Barn" had absolutely zero of that, unless you've never seen a horror movie before in your life. Then, and only then, will you perhaps find some enjoyment in this movie.

I did manage to endure sitting to the very end of the movie, but it wasn't a particular satisfying ending to the movie. It was, in fact, also quite predictable.