Private Princess Christmas

This is a good example of a Hallmark Christmas movie that is so off-the-wall and contrived that you wonder just why it was even made. The premise and the script are so ridiculous that there was no way that the movie could be salvaged.

Plus, there is very little having to do with Christmas here. Most of the characters are irritating, particularly the Queen (I guess she has no other name besides Mother) as played by an almost unrecognizable Erica Durance, who usually is wonderful in her movies - check her out in "Ms. Christmas Comes To Town." Why she took on this thankless role is beyond me.

The only saving grace is Tanja Dixon-Warren as Squibby.

She lets her hair down and adds some spark to the otherwise lackluster proceedings in this turkey.

I can understand why military-related viewers are very negative in their reviews of this film - but, really, you guys, what did you expect in a movie about a 10 day boot camp to toughen up a next-in-line Queen ?

Don't take that plot line seriously under any circumstances !

If there was a negative rating, this movie certainly deserves it. I'll keep it succinct- terrible script,horrible acting, has no redeeming qualities. I actually watched as I think reviews deserve at least a look. Do NOT WATCH. It is pathetically awful. The writers could have done at least some research. The actor playing Ryan has a Tony nomination-which in itself is unbelievable given this performance.

The characters are all poorly written and the actors are poorly directed. The accents are embarrassing. The place names are just stupid.

I repeat: DO NOT BOTHER WATCHING. You can never have those hours back.

Okay, so we have writers who decided to do a take-off on Private Benjamin, add in a little Hallmark Royal Trope (in this case a princess), wedge in a love interest, and try to make something funny.

Well, there was one laugh and a few chuckles, but their script failed to live up to their ambition for this movie. They got across that the princess was spoiled, but never could add any real meat to her change in the ten-day boot camp.

Not nearly enough happened between the princess and the captain to build a relationship, so the love story fell flat. The captain's best moments were early on when he manned the returns desk at a Walmart/Target type retail store, and that was over very early.

It's watchable, barely. We won't be repeating the experience.

It's a tale as old as time. A princess fails to train her Christmas tree-sniffing goat properly and gets sent to an American bootcamp for entitled people in order to prove that one day she can become queen. I mean, gee-whiz, again?!

Let's give Private Princess Christmas credit for the most ridiculous premise of the year, but not much else in this fish-out-of-water tale that is not royal in any way.

Wingravia's Princess Violet (Ali Skovbye) is the only daughter of the queen who might inherit the throne in this make believe Eastern European country of glaringly fake British accents. According to the queen, she needs some work to get the promotion. The queen finds a 10-day military boot camp in the US, that should do the trick.

The camp is littered with a crypto bro, an arrogant football player, the daughter of a rich guy and some other people whose story's just didn't land. Ryan (Derek Klena) runs the camp after rejoining the Army (maybe?) or just teaching. It's pretty loosey-goosey on the details and nobody is heading off to war after bootcamp.

As expected, our entitled princess tries to fake and cheat her way through the tests, but ends up revealing a heart of gold and some great American Sign Language skills.

We're light on love, heavy on fake accents and camo.

Cast Kudos: Tanja Dixon-Warren, who played Squibby and was apparently the only other employee of this elite camp. She was believable in her role and deserved her own story! Justice for Squibby!

Measuring Christmas Magic: None. Zip.

Alternative Movie Titles: First, let's discuss the title we got. Boo. No. Private Princess, sounds like a shy princess, not what I suspected they were going for-Private Benjamin. There was nearly no Christmas, so putting it in the title is court marshall worthy. Alternative titles: Princess Bootcamp Holiday; A royal salute Holiday; Bootcamp for Entitled People.

I am a Hallmark Christmas movie addict and give these movies alot of leeway. But as with other reviews for this movie, I had a difficult time with the storyline, the characters, the acting, the idea that this was actually a Christmas movie, the idea that there was any chemistry between any of the characters, and the fact that it jumped from one ridiculous scene to the next with no depth or continuity. I also had concerns with the movie's moral theme, in that a group of misfits were sent to be improved by a strong military officer, but instead they continued to cheat, give up and rebel. Due to all their antics the commander started to soften and give in to them. At that point all the cadets became caring, compassionate, and united. In addition, they were all able to sing in perfect pitch. Somehow there was a blip of unsubstantiated romance between the two main characters, then a falling out, a bunch of unrelated insights by several of the characters, reconciliations, and thus ending as all Hallmark movies do, with a kiss.