Popeye's Revenge

Move along....there's nothing to see here! If you're reading reviews to actually figure out if you want to watch this or not, then don't. This is just a run of the mill slasher movie where the slasher happens to be Popeye. I thought maybe somehow with the character being Popeye, this might be somewhat entertaining, but it wasn't.

The premise is that a bunch of twenty-somethings go to the house where Popeye was drowned as a kid to fix it up. Terror ensues, and Popeye, who stalks the place, kills everyone. While watching this, all I could really think of was Friday the 13th with Popeye instead of Jason. Then at the end they tell you a back story that sounds a lot like the Nightmare on Elm Street story.

Popeye's Revenge is complete nonsense. Turning our childhood's spinach-loving sailor into a cheap horror figure is neither creative nor interesting. The movie tries to be scary but ends up being unintentionally funny, and its attempt at building an eerie atmosphere is so weak that even the jump scares are predictable. The script feels like it was written by an AI trained on "how to make a horror movie" and then printed out without any editing. Add in terrible CGI and awful acting, and you get a film that's nothing but a waste of time. Instead of resurrecting Popeye, they should have made a documentary about the benefits of spinach-it would've been scarier. But to be fair, it's still better than Snow White.

Ahh, Popeye's Revenge. A movie that I picked up based on it's fantastic cover and gimmick of turning a beloved children's character into a sadistic murderer. But is it any good? Let's talk about it.

The movie addresses the circumstances of Popeye's birth, the tragedy of his youth and subsequent disappearance in a convenient animated sequence at the start, so the movie can chuck us straight into the sex and violence, which I appreciated.

Tara, her sad boyfriend, and a bunch of her totally unlikeable and shallow friends (who are self obsessed and/or cheating on each other) take a Twelve hour car journey to Popeye's house. Tara plans on taking advantage of the place by turning it into some kind of spooky tourist attraction. Her parents, the owners of Popeye's house via inheritance, are unaware that their daughter has decided to become an amateur entrepreneur for the weekend.

Unfortunately for Tara and her "friends", Popeye is on the loose and they're sitting ducks.

Much like the movie Alice in Murderland, one has to question why Tara would hang around with a bunch of people that she clearly has nothing in common with.

These are people who would rather look at Instagram than do any work. There's even a stereotypical outcast/stoner character called Beanie who literally NOONE likes, yet he is still there for some reason.

When the killings begin they're alright. Nothing over the top or incredible like the Terrifier movies, but they'll do. It's a shame the film didn't have more of a budget to create some really gruesome practical effects given that the whole reason we're watching is to see Popeye murder people. There was (I believe) a kill which paid homage to Zombie Flesh Eaters, which was pretty cool.

The movie doesn't outstay it's welcome at only 77 minutes long, yet the dialogue and delivery feels awkward from the irritating characters, making it hard to watch at times. I took comfort knowing that Popeye would be along shortly to murder one of them.

Popeye himself is a gigantic grinning beast of a man, impossible to take seriously but absolutely perfect in his role.

The acting talent is low, but it's acceptable for a small budget horror of this nature. Tara's dad was absolutely clueless throughout. He reminded me of Ian Beale from Eastenders. Near the end of the movie, he gets out of the car and says something like "Are you going to tell me what the hell is going on?!" to the Mother character. Like we're supposed to believe that the parents sat there in Silence during the TWELVE hour car journey to the cabin and didn't address this. Lol.

Anyway, Popeye's Revenge is certainly not a classic but it's competently made, the sets look good, and the cinematography doesn't look too amateur. Fans of trashy horror need only apply.

This movie was just terrible. The lead characters boyfriend was tepid. The kills were sloppy and unimpressive. The Popeye character was abyssmal. Look I like bad movies, I really do, but this was bad outside the range of what I enjoy. The only thing mildly enjoyable was the Olive character and that's because she had more personality than anyone else.

So many plot holes and questions. So may stupid things.

If you warn people about the fog and stand around doing NOTHING in that same fog YOU GET EXACTLY WHAT YOU DESERVE!

I have only two movies that have been this bad. This one and the first Killjoy. Wish I had a melon baller to scoop the memory of this movie from my brain.

I'm telling you it just gives you a whole new understanding about the character. I would never look at spinach the same again in my life. WTF did I just watch? If they started having the bootleg awards, this movie definitely would win. I mean, as far as the cinematography and visuals, it was kind of interesting, don't get me wrong. But just all the way around it was just preposterous.. I don't remember none of this when I was coming up as a kid. But come to find out the same people who made this other people who made like Winnie the Pooh horror, movies, and all kinds of other stuff. What's next the jungle book?