Bermuda Tentacles

Hi Guys,

Every time I see one of these "movies", I say, they can't get any worse. Then I watch the next one and it's worse.

This one really sucked. The marines or what ever they were didn't even shave and the women had about a pound of makeup slapped on them. I ,also, like that cannons and planes don't hurt them, so, let's shoot at them with 9MM pistols.

That being said, next week is "Big Ass Spider" and I will be watching hoping for the one good one.

What are the chances that this won't be the one ?

Linda! No! No! Please, no! Think of all those great TV series you were in. All those great movies you were in. Do you really want people to remember you in this piece of total garbage? Do you really need the money that much? I'm now going to have to try really really hard to delete what I just saw and pretend that it never happened. I didn't see you in this nonsense. I didn't see you looking about 84 years old. You are still in your 20's. Still beautiful. You still touch my heart with your poignant acting.

You were never in this SyFy rubbish. Never. I don't remember it. It is gone, deleted. I will never remember it.

Well, given the synopsis for this movie, you just know that it is going to be one of those awful movies that you wonder how got around to seeing the light of day. And sure enough, "Bermuda Tentacles" was exactly that.

The story is about Air Force One going down in the Bermuda Triangle, and as the military and navy is in the vicinity to search for the president of the United States of America, strange, fluorescent tentacles emerge from the deep and start attacking the boats. It is up to a small group of soldiers to set out in an experimental prototype submarine to venture into the deep to retrieve the president in the escape pod.

This is low budget Sci-Fi in every aspect of the words, and this is far from SyFy's brightest moment. While they have other very questionable movies to their name, then "Bermuda Tentacles" is in the top 3.

The effects were adequate, though often at the lower scale of being proper. Don't except anything major here or anything to blow you out of your seat.

What the movie did have working for it was some adequate acting and list of talents on the cast list. It is always nice to see John Savage in a movie, although he had very little to work with in this movie. People were doing good enough jobs with their given roles and characters, despite having a poor script to work with.

If you enjoy Sci-Fi movies, then I would suggest that you watch something else, because "Bermuda Tentacles" doesn't really deliver on any accounts. This is a poor addition to the vault of Sci-Fi movies, and it raises more questions to the storyline than it gives answers.

Aliens hiding under the sea within the Bermuda triangle abduct the president of the United States (John Savage). A fleet under the command of Admiral Hansen (Linda Hamilton of 'Terminator' fame) enters the area to save the president and kick some tentacle-thing butt! Funny coincidence that they already have a scientist on board, namely Dr Zimmer (Jamie Kennedy), who can tell them all about alien organisms. Chief Oliver (Trevor Donovan) disobeys the admiral's orders and goes on the rescue mission with a prototype submarine. In an underwater cave, he discovers more about the enemy. Ancient shipwrecks reveal they have been here for a century or more, time to put an end to that...

"Bermuda Tentacles" is a hilarious piece of trash, certainly a lot funnier than its makers intended it to be! I've been disappointed with a couple of other Asylum productions recently, but this one delivers.

Okay, Bermuda Tentacles may not be the worst SyFy has done or quite down there, but it is incredibly bad and worse than any of their offerings from last year. It looks cheap, well the photography is okay if rather drab but the editing is choppy and the whole movie just looks both drab and garish. The special effects are truly laughable, and that's at best as well. The monster looks so fake, one of the worst-looking I've seen in a while and poses no real threat or even a personality to speak of. The sound is murky and the music is sluggish and over-bearing, reminiscent of a poorly-scored overblown CGI extravaganza but worse. The story plods like thick, sticky mud and any tension, fun, excitement or horror is practically non-existent here. Mainly because it looks like none of the actors give a damn about what's happening to them and that everything is so ridiculous and lacking in any real sense. The script is a real disaster here, no wonder the dialogue delivery was so awkward often, it's cheesy and incoherent and much of it, especially the more wordy exposition dialogue, sounds like utter gibberish. The characters range from underwritten to annoying, with any conflict between them not believable in any way and coming across as forced instead, while the acting is atrocious. That is particularly true of Mya, whose performance is pretty embarrassing, in fact the younger members of the cast make it all too clear how inexperienced they are. Linda Hamilton looks worse for wear here and also gives a surprisingly lazy performance. The best performance is by John Savage, the only halfway decent one and quite possibly the best thing about Bermuda Tentacles, that he has very little to work with and what he has is poor, I wouldn't go as far to say that he is enough to save the movie. Overall, Bermuda Tentacles is not quite among SyFy's worst but even for a company notorious for mostly bottom-of-the-barrel to mediocre(with a handful of tolerable ones) this was just horrid. 1/10 Bethany Cox