Black Rose

After five young women of Russian descent are brutally murdered, the Los Angeles Police Department contacts Moscow and requests the assistance of one of their best detectives to aid in the investigation. In response, Russia sends "Vladimir Kazatov" (Alexander Nevsky), who always manages to get the job done--one way or another. Sure enough, no sooner does he get to Los Angeles than he manages to get into a gunfight with two armed thugs, leaving one dead and the other severely maimed. That aside, he is quickly paired with a patterns analyst named Emily Smith (Kristanna Loken), who lacks real field experience but compensates for it with her keen understanding of the criminal mind. The problem, however, is that the serial killer has been alerted and is now pursuing them as well. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that this movie is basically a rehash of the successful Arnold Schwarzenegger film "Red Heat" but with Alexander Nevsky in the lead role instead. He fails miserably. So bad, in fact, that I rank his performance even lower than Jon Voight's attempt at impersonating Al Pacino's "Scarface" in the 1997 movie "Anaconda." Not that it matters, but Jon Voight was nominated for a Golden Raspberry for that performance. Deservedly so, in my opinion. Nevertheless, I didn't enjoy this particular film, and I have rated it accordingly. Below average.

'The Room' has a new contender. I love bad movies, and this one takes it to a whole new level. Bad writing, cinematography, editing, and TERRIBLE acting.

Starring the director/producer, Alexander Nevsky, who can barely speak English. His acting is so wooden I think the blue fairy JUST turned him into a real boy. Co-stars Kristanna Loken, she played that Terminator 3 robot who never spoke(Perfect casting after seeing this movie). The director also gave his girlfriend, Oksana Sidorenko, a bit part. Probably because everyone else read the script. Adrian Paul(star of the Highlander tv show), and Robert Davi did alright considering the script and complete lack of understandable direction.

The movie was 83 minutes long, but with all the completely random b-roll and unnecessary sequences it could be 30 minutes long. It's as if the editor decided that half the movie was unwatchable and cut it out. Then said to somebody, "Stick a camera out a car window and drive around. That'll fill up some time!" One example: In the beginning he visits the ocean for 5 minutes and then it never comes up again. Why did he stare at seagulls 5 minutes?!

All and all, this is one of the worse movies I've ever seen. A great example of how not to make a movie. And that is why it's worth watching.

Com'on people. At least the photography was excellent. Bad script. Acting sans direction or self restraint. But good grief -- does it really deserve all this opprobrium? Shots and angles were often admirable. They found scenes and settings that were quite interesting and occasionally terrific. ... On the other hand, a stage name duplicating the cultural hero of the Russ is deserving of The Donald's approval and accents comparable to Branagh's Shadow Recruit choice are cringe-worthy. Just imagine what people not super self-conscious of being C-lister's could have done with the idea here.

It's a direct to video release. If you're looking for an Oscar winner, look elsewhere. I saw it on Netflix. Reminded of the slew of bad action movies I enjoyed renting back in the 80's and 90's.To wit, I am known as the king of bad movies. Love 'em. I enjoyed it for what it is. A bit low budget. Not as gory as some reviews would lead you to believe. I will say this, if the the star, Alexander Nevsky, could lose the heavy Russian accent, he'd make a helluva lot more sense as Jack Reacher than Tom Cruise.

I can't believe how boring this movie is. The acting was bad, the chemistry was bad, the script was dull. The plot was a good one they should have been able to do more than they did with it.Blood and gore alone do not make a great action/mystery movie (or apparently even a good one). I could not wait for it to be over.