Richard the Lionheart: Rebellion

One of the worst films I've had the misfortune to watch. Two minutes in found me fiddling around in my handbag for entertainment.

There were a few minutes when the princes were introduced where I thought it might be worth watching just for the eye candy but they turned out to be corny and just as naff as everything else.

If a knight urgently knocks on a 6 inch thick internal castle door you don't expect it to sound as if its being done on a Formica topped school desk by a 5-year-old .... and when one of the princes need to escape instead of showing him doing it he is told 'there's a tunnel my father told me about' and then they are out! No budget for a tunnel - I like a good tunnel in a medieval drama.

Costumes were dreadful and although the Queens gratuitous nakedness was quite entertaining full frontal breast enhancements in 1173 is just wrong!

OK. This is my first review. I felt morally obligated to warn others. I admit I have wasted a lot of time in my life, but the 15 minutes I wasted watching this move...I truly regret. I actually felt embarrassed for everyone involved -- myself, the actors, the director, cast, crew, innocent bystanders, and all the anals of history (yes anal, as in 'anal orifice,' for who deserves the title more than war-mongering madmen?) Please, please, please...learn from my mistake. Don't waste your time and money on this jolly band of Ren-Faire flunkies with a camera, iMovie and iDeas. You will be as sorry as I am right now.

It is clear that this title received little funding, but given that it has some pretty good sets, locations, weapons, costumes and sound design.

The actors are amateurs, and whilst there are some terrible performances (including a few bad attempts at the French accent) many of the actors are pretty good, and the camera work is well framed on the actors and their motions.

There clearly is a plot although I couldn't tell you what it was.

As far as films go this is an amateur production, but as far a amateur films go this is a pretty good effort.

Bad direction, bad script, bad production, bad research and acting. This is very low budget (nothing wrong with that) but it shows. According to this the Battle of Devil's Bridge was fought by about ten people. The scenery around the North West of France is snow capped mountains (it isn't) and the first castle they battled in was defended by one knight.

Had to give up after just fifteen minutes (if that but it felt like longer) and walk out. Felt to me like they were just mugging me off.

Apparently I need ten lines of text for the review. Which is ten more than the film merits. Originally, all I wanted to say was "Oh dear. Why?"

I literally quit after 5 minutes it was that bad - and I've watched some pretty crappy movies. It felt like a high school drama production with boobs.