Bikini Model Academy

This had plenty of hot chicks. And plans on how to get them. I love this stuff. Only the small productions could really show you how it's done.

Not bad, definitely definitely not great.

Maybe worth a watch. I don't know. It is what it is

3 stars

I had heard a lot of negative things about this movie, but despite this I chose to watch this movie. The movie itself is pretty strange, and extremely illogical, but with a movie title like "Bikini Model Academy" what can you expect besides beautiful girls in Bikinis.

The fact that Gary Busey is in this movie makes it even better. I also love the fact that the only actors that are advertised on the cover are Gary Busey and Morgan Fairchild, and none of the actual main characters. This is marketing at it's finest and I fully condone it! I would highly recommend this one to anyone who is looking for a strange,but weirdly good film about modeling. This movie is truly a curveball, but you will be blown away!

I never thought I'd say this, but not even Gary Busey can save this sorry excuse for a movie. His confused ramblings are obviously the highlights, but who can really salvage a comedy with no plot, no jokes and absolutely no idea which direction it's going? It doesn't help that he clearly banged out all his scenes in one afternoon. He disappears without explanation for large chunks of the movie, which is rather odd when you're top-billed. In one scene he's asleep on a table and I'm not entirely convinced that was scripted.

Come to think of it: I'm not sure if any of this was scripted. Writer/Director Straw Weisman seems to go for the Judd Apatow approach of just giving a general outline for a scene and letting the actors improvise. This idea might work with actors who can you know, improvise. You can't just throw complete nobodies in the deep end and hope something funny will happen by accident. The absolute lowpoint of the movie is a scene where the obligatory villain shows up in an attempt to close the bikini model academy (what am I doing with my life?) down. I've just mentioned all the information this scene needs to convey. It lasts seven (!) minutes because none of the actors knew how to end it. This movie can't possibly have a blooper reel, because they used everything.

It's very tough to find a silver lining in this movie, even though I'm really trying. I guess the ending contest between the good and 'evil' academy is a fun throwback to 80s sex comedies, but like all sequences it lasts about ten times longer than it needs to. And as someone who actually enjoys noteworthy offenders like "Revenge Of The Nerds" and "Porky's"... how misogynist is this movie? Every female character is a complete airhead who does just about anything for cash and is only there to please the guys. Hell, at one point the good guys keep the models in the academy by... drugging them with brownies? Somehow they're completely okay with that when they wake up because movie.

"Bikini Model Academy" reminded me of recent David DeCoteau projects, which is never good. An hour of random footage is not a finished movie, no matter how many desperate young actresses are willing to take their tops off (three by my count). Now someone please wake up Busey.

Bikini Model Academy, as the name says it is about Bikini Model Academy. But there is nothing model nor academy about this movie all there is bikini. There is no sense, no story, nothing. All there are some half naked somewhat hot girls running around wearing bikinis. Oh there is one naked one, I do not know what was the purpose of her. I think everyone was high when they shoot this movie so they did not realize how lame is it.

So you may ask why I wasted 30 minutes of my time. It is simple: to warn you all through this review. Stay away from this one. Trust me you are not missing anything. Rather do something useful, like plant a tree or something.

No movie ever made has influenced me more than this classic. I had the honor of doing a play version of it about 5 years ago. I had seen the film thousands of times, had loved it, but I never really knew what it meant.

During the course of the production, I suddenly felt alive. I felt that I wasn't having enough fun. I felt that I wasn't doing enough in my life. Crazy things, like kissing my mother or my father. I hadn't really hugged one of them in a while. It makes you think. It's more of a thinking person's film than a mere Christmas film. If you think it's just a Christmas film, I insist you watch it again and again, until you get the message.

That black kid who plays Benji gives the finest performance of his career, in one of the most difficult characters ever portrayed. A character all of us are familiar with...a person looking to find himself/herself. It's the great struggle for finding what it is in life you really want to do. Benji teaches us so lessons throughout the film and in the end he teaches us the most important lesson of all, that life, although a long and winding road, truly is (for lack of a better word) wonderful...