Breakdown Lane

This movie sucks!!! There's so many things wrong with this movie that I can't even begin to describe it. Time out of my life that I can't get back😒 It started out ok initially, but the more it went on the more absurd it got. Bloopers that weren't edited out, plot points that made absolutely no sense. I know the budget was low, but that's no excuse. Plenty of low budget movies have become classics due to the time and sincere effort that was put in. This was just a sloppy, lazily made mess that a bunch of high school kids could have put together. Maybe they were high school kids, who really knows.😂

I knew that I should have taken heed to the low rating that "Breakdown Lane" had managed to score here on IMDb. But it is a zombie movie after all, and that is really all that is needed to make me watch a movie. However, the market is unfortunately flooded with questionable entries in the zombie genre.

"Breakdown Lane" didn't break that mold, and it turned out to be just another low budget zombie movie with the heart resolute on trying, but failing to achieve anything.

This is definitely a B-movie in every meaning of the term. Low budget script writing, low budget special effects, low budget acting talents, well, you know how it goes.

The movie is incredibly slow paced and very, very little happened throughout the course of the movie. And that made it really difficult to sit through and watch it to the very end. And believe me, it was indeed a struggle to sit through this.

As for the script, well this pretty much sums it up; are you kidding me? Wow, the script for "Breakdown Lane" was definitely something else. And points for trying, but come on... It was just so far fetched that it was like it was a farce on the zombie genre.

It was so hard to take it serious that the day after an outbreak happen that people would resort to cannibalism. One day! There would be so much food at the stores and homes, it was just idiotic. And more so why would they say that they needed to breed and repopulate the Earth? Just how fast and effective was this outbreak? Talk about some major plot holes and lacks of writing anything worthwhile.

The zombie effects were laughable at best. But at least they were trying. And sadly so, because special effects are vital - pardon the pun - to a zombie movie to be effective. Here "Breakdown Lane" didn't come through.

"Breakdown Lane" is not a particularly impressive addition to the zombie movie gallery. And it is definitely not a movie that I will be returning to watch again, as it just didn't have any outstanding qualities to it. Actually, I gave up after about an hour of sitting through this slow paced ordeal, then I just tossed the towel in the ring.

Horrible actors and horrible script all around. Not sure if this was a joke movie for how bad it was.

This film begins with a young woman named "Kirby Lane" (Whitney Moore) driving somewhere in the southwest when her car breaks down in the middle of the desert. Since her car is equipped with Northstar she calls them up and talks to a service representative named "Max" (Kevin Tye) who advises her to stay in her car and wait for a tow truck. Not long afterward, however, he tells her that he is having some difficulty getting a tow truck because of some strange events happening in that area. Little does she know that a zombie apocalypse has just occurred and society has completely collapsed. What follows is her attempt to stay alive with little food and water in a desert landscape inhabited by lawless gangs and ravenous zombies. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that this film started off real well but got bogged down somewhere after the first 30 minutes or so and never really recovered after that. That said, although I give the directors (Bob Schultz and Robert Conway) credit for not turning it into yet another zombie-comedy that seeks to become "so bad it's good" it still could have used a lot more depth and for that reason I have rated it accordingly. Below average.

That being. Make a film without funding. LOL. I mean what was this made for $5.95? Now I'm not one to rag on indie films, I love them, have a real passion and tolerance for low budget, Indie or both. This was a good idea, no fault there, the set up is also good. Lead actress is ok so no real super problem with her. But WOW are the SFX bad. Terrible CGI, very poor execution of the "Scary scenes". Some of the dialog was good, and delivered fine by the lead and the northstar customer service guy.

Unfortunately, even with a liberal dose of suspension of expectation, I was unable to forgive or tolerate the horrid fight, kill or scare scenes. About the only time I found myself not eye rolling was the dialog in the SUV. Good idea but sometimes you just shouldn't release something that was beyond your ability to film many of the scenes with the what seems to be near zero special effects or even a special effects manager? If this film did have one, he should never work on a film again. A real shame, this could have been a decent film, just please secure some funding OR a talented SFX manager. Otherwise just keep it on hold until you can. Sorry, no addition to my collection with this one. I don't think I'd even waste the space if it was in the dollar bin.