In Raiders of the Lost Ark, the archaeologist René Belloq opens up the Ark of the Covenant, the chest containing the tablets upon which God Himself inscribed the Ten Commandments. "It's beautiful!" he exclaims, after which his face melts off and his head explodes.
This is a superior viewing experience to Lawrie Brewster's The Reign of Queen Ginnarra, which offers neither the glimpse of beauty nor the mercy of death.
Ginnarra is the worst movie I have ever seen. If there is a site where I give it a star or a fraction thereof, it's because that site won't let me give it a zero. Its action isn't impressive, its horror isn't scary, and its characters aren't likeable. Its script is bad beyond the power of any actor to salvage. Of the ten or so people I endured this movie with from beginning to end, not one person had a word to say in its defense. If you don't read any more of this review, at least take away this: Ginnarra is not worth paying for, it is not worth watching for free, and if you are offered money to watch it, don't say yes for anything under four figures.
I go into further detail on the Letterboxd version of this review (which has spoilers), as that site has no character limit. Absent the ample room necessary to recount this movie's laundry list of sins, I will give the short version for IMDb: its script is bad, its plot is incoherent, and the whole things is full of shoddy, AI-generated effects that make it feel cheap and low-effort. It's twenty minutes' worth of substance inflated into over two and a half painful hours. It fails at everything it attempts, and what it attempted was so jejune as to not have been worth trying. Watching The Reign of Queen Ginnarra left me a broken wreck of a man, and my recovery will be the work of decades.
If you wake up in a theater where this is playing, don't walk out, run. In a pinch, see if there's anything within arm's reach you can use to blind yourself.
Do not recommend.
