The Christmas Classic

So in the first 3 minutes the female lead yells "S**T!" and then "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD" half a dozen times. Several minutes in we hear "Not a chance in H**l" and then her sister starts with the "OH MY GOD." Whoever the writers are needs to broaden his/her/their vocabulary and knowledge of proper English that would be appropriate for a Christmas movie that (assumedly) children will be watching. The female lead character is a spoiled, arrogant, entitled and thoroughly hateful brat--so nothing at all "nice" or uplifting about this pile of detritus. First thought is "Well the children won't be watching this," and second thought is that the exclamation "S**T" in the first few minutes is a very suitable description of this film. Turned it off at 20 minutes in. An offensive waste of time.

Utterly abysmal "The Christmas Classic" is a stinking Christmas turkey rather than any kinda Christmas classic. Malin Akerman returns to her small, mountain hometown to close a deal for her smarmy fiancé to turn Ryan Hansen's 'charming' ski resort into a corporate beast (boo!)... but as Hansen's reluctant she's stuck staying with the family she'd tried to avoid (including Amy Smart & Chris Mulinax) - might that teach her some life lessons? Director / co-writer (Austin Nichols) Shane Dax Taylor applies the lowest standards to his work, and the dire quality of some performances bear that out. It is a Christmas disaster. Dire. Avoid at all costs.

Of course I had never heard about the 2023 Showtime Christmas movie titled "The Christmas Classic" prior to sitting down to watch it as part of my 2024 Christmas movie marathon.

But I will say that the movie's cover was sufficiently cheesy to instill that particular sense of being in for a sappy Christmas movie experience.

Writers Austin Nichols and Shane Dax Taylor put together a sufficiently enjoyable storyline, but it just wasn't standing out in the vast sea of similar movies. And as such, I have to say that "The Christmas Classic" is not going to become a Christmas classic. Watchable, for sure, just not memorable out unique.

There were some familiar faces on the screen, such as Malin Akerman, Ryan Hansen, Austin Nichols and Amy Smart. It should be said, though, that the acting performances in the movie were fair.

They mentioned The Griswalds in this movie, as they were talking about Christmas lights, which I found to be a nice touch and a lovely nod to the classic "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation".

My rating of director Shane Dax Taylor's 2023 movie "The Christmas Classic" lands on a bland five out of ten stars.

I don't know what it is with the parody parading as serious hallmark style cheesy Christmas movies being churned or in recent years but I can't imagine that anyone could watch these movies with any grain of seriousness when the plots are completely stereotyped and across who are generally decent actors purposely over (under?) act to be on par with actual holiday movies thar are supposed to be taken seriously. That being said, this movie made me laugh hard at the ridiculousness of how perfectly this movie played on those played out tropes. And, they did it better than the 2022 Christmas parody, Christmas with the Campbells which was just downright cringe-worthy thanks to my beloved Justin Long's awful, over the top nondescript southern/Midwestern small town cowboy accent. I hear Justin Long but I heart Chris Hansen almost as much and at least he didn't attempt a bad accent. Definitely worth a watch for a good laugh at the tongue in cheek, poking fun at sappy holiday romance movies.

This is a Hallmark movie at its core, but it has some adult jokes peppered throughout. The guy from Reno 911 and The State steals the show as local broadcaster Dick Mountain. I saw some reviews making it look like it's crude language throughout, and it's not at all, just here and there and sometimes it's nice to take a break from the ever sugary G rated Hallmark movie. It's got a good cast, some nice outdoor snow mountain scenery that is not Vancouver for a change which is all you see with Hallmark (although Vancouver is beautiful)- filmed in New Mexico. It's also a spoof of sorts on 80s ski resort movies. Overall if you like Hallmark but are looking for something just a bit less sugary, you will like this. Don't overthink it.